Fundraiser

Last weekend we had a fundraiser to raise money for our classes/training needed before we move overseas. We had a garage sale at our home church, where we sold the majority of the items we owned. Many people were also gracious enough to donate their items to us.

The garage sale was "Donation Only"- people just gave what they wanted for the items they were taking.

It was a very humbling experience. I didn't expect it to be so hard for me, but it may have been one of the more difficult things I've done. Many people coming in took advantage of just giving what they saw fit. And it was very difficult for me to see some of my most precious items being taken for little to nothing. It's like they didn't understand why we were selling all of our stuff, and just thought they were walking away with a steal (which they were!).
But, on the flip side of that, there were several people who came in and gave us an over abundance for a single item, or would simply donate and not take anything.
It was a lesson in humility for sure. The Lord taught me that it's not about "stuff". My earthly possessions are not what is important. We can always get more things. Being obedient to God is what is important. Serving others is what is important. There are so many other things that are more important than earthly possessions.

And while it still hurt to watch some of my most precious items being taken away by strangers, I was humbled by the generosity of a few people who gave from their hearts and showed us such kindness.

Our Very First Newsletter

Click here to view our very first newsletter!

The above link will take you to our newsletter. It is so exciting to finally be at the stage in our preparation for the mission field where we get to send out monthly updates!

If you are not yet receiving our newsletter and would like to, please just let me know and I will add you to our mailing list. You can just comment on this blog post, or you can email me at sarahk1021@yahoo.com

We are just so excited to get to share with everyone how God is leading us on this journey. It is our joy and pleasure to connect with everyone we love and care so deeply about. The Lord has really blessed us with a great support system, and we are so grateful for everyone that is uplifting us in prayer and providing encouragement and support.

Thank you for all that you have done, and continue to do!

Missing Home

I need to be honest. This new life of ours is much harder for me to adjust to than I thought it would be.

I thought that getting rid of our stuff and moving out of our own place would be an adventure. I imagined it like any mission trip I have been on- exciting, fun, adventurous. But, unlike all of the mission trips I have been on, there was an end in sight. It was easy to go and do difficult things because I always knew that I would get to come back home. I would get to settle back into my routine, be comfortable in my surroundings, and feel safe in my own environment.

And all of a sudden, I realized that there is no end in sight. There is no assurance that I will get to come back "home" and feel safe and secure and comfortable. We are beginning this new life, and it scares me to the core. I think, if I weren't so confident that the Lord was leading us in this direction, I would just abandon the whole thing. I would throw my arms up and say "Forget it! Forget all of it!". I'm comfortable where I am at. I love having my own home, and I enjoy the privacy of living with just my husband and daughter.

Deep inside I feel a mixture of emotions. I feel sad, like I am mourning a loss. And I also feel hopeful. Hopeful of what's to come and the change that is happening. I feel constricted. There's always an etiquette you must stick to when you are a guest in someone's home. It's different at your own house. You can behave how you want, dress how you want, and live according to the rules you set for your home. When you are a guest you don't get that privilege. It's strange being a permanent guest. It's a little constricting.
I also feel free. In a different sense. We have less responsibility. Less "stuff". Less things to get distracted by. We are focused. On point with what really needs to get done. It's so freeing to live like this.

This is an adjustment. And it's going to take lots of time to figure it out. I'm not just going to be okay with all of this overnight. But the Lord is so good to us. And He isn't going to abandon us after we have taken this giant leap of faith. He is always faithful! It brings to mind the lyrics of that song "Day after Day":

Day after day our God is reigning

He's never shaken, my hope is in the Lord

Time after time our God is faithful

Trustworthy Savior, my hope is in the Lord

While I may struggle with not having a permanent home, I can rest in knowing that a structure does not determine 'home' for me. Home for me is where my family is. Home for me is the comfort I get from knowing that God is continuously providing. Home for me is the love that comes from my husband, and the cuddles I get from my baby. I may miss my structural home, but I've got everything I need right here with me.

On a side note: Go ahead and pray that you won't get too comfortable where you are, and see where God leads you!

Changing it up

I've been writing a lot about...well, being a new mom. Obviously. That's currently the title of my blog. But there's more to my life than simply being a new mom (not that being a mom is simple. It certainly isn't.).

Not only are we adjusting to life as parents, Phil and I are also adjusting to life as Missionary Recruits. I'm sure that I have posted before about joining Pioneer Bible Translators. Well, everything really seems to be falling into place these last few weeks.

Here is a brief update on what's been happening (and continues to happen):

We recently started our online classes. These are classes that we need to take for PBT. Luckily we have both had most of the classes required, so we only need to take a handful. This week we started Intro to Linguistics. And let me tell you...it's no walk in the park. At least not for me. I know that the information will be useful and valuable when I'm trying to learn a new language, but honestly, it's just not fun!
We are hoping to be finished with all of our classes by next Fall.

We are missionary partners with our home church, Rochester Christian. It has been such a joy to talk with individual's at our home church about our passions, goals, and future plans. They have all been so supportive. Our church was eager to partner with us, and take on a supporting role and we transition into this new phase of life. We are excited about what the future holds for both of us as we move forward in this.

We are selling our possessions and giving to the poor! Okay, so it's not really like that. Actually, it may be like that. We are selling the majority of our 'things', and we are moving in with my mom. This dramatic leap of faith came after many weeks of praying and seeking God's direction. We knew that we couldn't keep living like this. We were barely making ends meet- struggling to balance working, school, bills, and the baby, all while trying to focus on getting to the mission field.
After much prayer and seeking wise counsel, we decided that Phil would quit his job and start working with his dad's ministry, and we would move to Indiana and live with my mom. With this drastic change, we will be able to focus on what is really important- getting to the mission field. We will have more time to focus on getting our classes done, meeting with individuals and churches about partnering with us, and figuring out where it is we might be going.

We are still praying about where we will Go. We have two options in front of us at this time, but we are currently unsure of which one the Lord is leading us to. But with everything falling into place so quickly, I am certain that we will know before long. God is so good, and He continues to lead us and open the doors for us.

More on Breastfeeding

I never thought I would have this much trouble. I heard about moms that had problems with breastfeeding and eventually just switched to formula. In my judgmental little mind, I thought that was the easy way out. Why give up? Keep at it and it'll work out. After all, breast is best!

But honestly, there's more to it than that. Let me share my breastfeeding woes, and why I will finally exclusively formula feed my baby.

At first, I thought it was my milk. Jaelyn was always super fussy. She cried a lot. I switched from milk to soy. Nothing changed. I finally cut out all dairy. Still no change. I thought that maybe she just wasn't a happy baby. Maybe I was blessed with the temperamental child.

A couple of weeks ago I hit my breaking point. Jaelyn was a screaming maniac. I didn't know what was wrong. I was beside myself. We were both crying and miserable. Phil promptly sent me and the baby to my  moms (you're NEVER too old to need your mom). In his words "I'm not trying to get rid of you. I just know that you need more help. You need your mom". Spot on, Kemp.

I went to my moms, and she also deduced that she sounded like she was crying out in pain. At my wits end, I finally agreed to try formula. Maybe it was my milk after all. I got the Sobee Soy for Sensitive Tummies, and she guzzled down 4 oz. 4 ounces!! I realized then that she wasn't getting enough breast milk. I only produce about 2 ounces every 3 hours. And come to think of it, at her last doctor's appointment, her percentile for weight had dropped. *light bulb*

After a few days of formula, I tried breast milk for a day. 4 ounce bottles this time. She did great. She's a whole new baby!

So, it was and wasn't my milk. She wasn't allergic to anything I was eating, she just wasn't getting enough of it. Low milk supply.

So why did I decide to switch to formula then?

Here is what I tried:
-Pumping ever 2-3 hours
-Drinking plenty of fluids
-Drinking a cup of Mother's Milk tea 4-6 times a day
-Taking fenugreek
-Taking marshmallow root

None of it worked to increase my supply. And honestly...it got to be too much. I became like a crazy person trying to increase my milk supply. Perhaps it was the stress of the whole situation that cause it to not increase? I don't know.

I have just been miserable with the whole thing. And that's not okay. I don't want my frustrations with breastfeeding to come across as frustrations with the baby or with Phil. Which it has.

So, I'm slowly weening myself. I still pump every once in awhile, and Jaelyn does still get some expressed breast milk. But soon...we will be on formula only.

It's a slow process for me to come to terms with this. But...I am coming to terms with this.

Stinkin Timeline

Today I got on facebook only to discover that I now have Timeline. It's annoying to me because I have worked so hard NOT to get it. I even avoided signing up to get Pinterest because I knew that it caused facebook to turn to Timeline. And then, Pinterest allowed membership with your email, and I was happy with myself for waiting it out. But now... stinkin timeline found me!

On the bright side though, I found this old "note" I had written back in 2008, and it totally cracked me up. Who knew I was so weird?!

What I did today:

I started my morning off right: I got myself a fresh cup of coffee and some cookie crisp cereal and I chatted with my dad. We contemplated skipping out on what we needed to do for the day (school for me and work for my dad), but reluctantly we decided to wait for a different day. I got ready for school by doing my usual routine: sang to the radio, had a conversation with the people on the radio (even though they never respond back to me), gulped down more coffee and just basically meandered through the house, thinking of different excuses for skipping class.
Then I drove to school, had even more coffee (I brought my little travel mug) and promptly waltzed into class five minutes late (it’s okay… we all do it, even the professor). Then I doodled on my pages, sent several picture texts to different people expressing my boredom and exasperation for being there, made up some answers for my lab report and headed home (I actually think that I left class early today… on accident of course. We might not have been all the way done; it might have just been a short break…). 
Then I came home and got on the computer. I figured that somebody must have sent me an email or something while I was gone for that short period of time. Checking my mail is always the highlight of my day. Unless, of course, it’s just stupid spam that somehow sneaks into my inbox instead of going straight to the spam box. I hate when that happens. When I was done checking my mail and facebook (of course facebook), I used the awesome “stumble upon” button and browsed various websites. Then I just googled some random things like “cheeseburger kitten” and “becoming a vegetarian”. I got on the postsecret website, but was bummed cause I’d already read those ones and decided to play a rousing game of Spider Solitaire. I love that game! But all that got boring really fast. So, I spun around in my computer chair until I nearly fell over and cracked my head on the desk. Lying on the bed seemed like the most logical thing to do next, especially since my head was spinning and I felt like I was going to throw up.
And that… yes, that is what I spend my days doing. Sometimes in different orders though, and sometimes I do a little homework in between (and I don't normally take the chair for a spin, that was totally spontaneous!). But that’s basically it.

I need to get out more…

And this picture justs cracks me up...

Date Night and a Poop Story

After nearly 3 months, Phil and I finally had a date night. It's my fault it's been so long. I just can't imagine leaving my little baby. Also, she's very temperamental at times, and I get nervous for other people to watch her. For their own sake, not necessarily hers.

Okay, truthfully...I'm a new mom. And I don't trust other people to take care of her as well as I do. There, I said it.

But then I got this great idea! Jaelyn goes to bed at 7, and almost always sleeps until at least 11 before she wakes up to eat. So, I decided that the best plan would be for someone to come over when she goes to bed.
I coaxed my little brother (the 19 year old, not the 2 year old...) to do it, and he agreed as long as she stayed asleep. Uhhh, okay.
I definitely sounded like a new mom as I rattled off detailed plans of action should ANY possible situation occur.
As Phil was pulling me out the door, I yelled one last "Call if anything happens. Or if anything doesn't happen!". And we were off to the place where they grow the olives.

We decided we wouldn't talk about the baby, that we would focus on ourselves. 5 minutes into our date we were discussing Jaelyn's poop habits. Only parents, right?

The date was fun. It was nice to get away with just Phil and not have to worry about a fussy baby or anything like that. But after dinner we decided to head home. Turns out, we are old parents now. We get tired around 8pm and we take joy in our sleep. After all, as the old (and very annoying) saying goes we must "Sleep when the baby sleeps".

That was date night. Not the poop story. Here is the poop story:

J hadn't pooped in 10 days. I finally called the doctor and she suggested coming in for a check up. After examining her the doctor determined that she is still very healthy, but for whatever reason she is holding in her poop. Huh? Can babies even do that? Apparently this one can. Like I said...she's advanced!
We took her home and gave her a baby suppository. No fun. But she took it like a trooper!

The Dr said that she should poop within 1-2 hours, and to call after 2 hours to update her. Well, 2 hours came and went and still no sign of poops. I called and talked to the nurse. She said to call back tomorrow and give an update and we would take it from there.
As soon as I got off the phone I went to change Jaelyn's diaper because it was wet. AS SOON AS I took off her diaper she had a massive poop explosion! MASSIVE!
I think she did it on purpose. She waited until her prime opportunity and then just let it all out. Master plan? I think so. It was her plan for the last ten days.

I've got a tricky one on my hands!

Teething?

Today I noticed that Jaelyn seems to be chewing on things a lot more. When I give her a bottle, she is really more interested in chewing on the nipple than drinking the milk.
Then something clicked in my sleep deprived brain: teething!

I looked up the signs for teething and found several articles. First, there was an article stating that infants don't actually show symptoms of teething. That when babies start teething their immune system is down and that's when they start showing "symptoms". Uhhh...same thing.
Another article said that babies don't start teething until they are older. Older than 2 1/2 months.

Well, after reading the signs/symptoms of teething...I'm almost certain that's what's going on.


What To Expect- 5 Signs of Teething:


1. Drooling. You might find that your baby's shirts are suddenly soggy. Fasten on a bib to keep her more comfortable (and cleaner), and gently wipe her chin throughout the day to stave off chapping (if that doesn't work, ask your doctor about a mild moisturizer such as Aquaphor or even Lansinoh nipple cream). Pooling saliva may also cause a slight cough or even trigger the gag reflex. If she's otherwise healthy, you can safely ignore both.

2. Gnawing. She's not trying to be naughty. Little nips at your fingers, breast (ouch!), or her spoon help relieve the pressure she feels from under her gums.

3. Crying. Some babies breeze through teething with nary a whimper, while others suffer from a good deal of pain — which they feel compelled to share with you in the form of whining or crying. Talk to your doctor about when to administer pain relievers such as infant acetaminophen or ibuprofen.

4. Fasting. Since sucking movements can worsen teething pressure or pain, your baby may refuse to nurse or eat, or may nurse briefly and then turn away. Keep at it, and call your pediatrician if the strike lasts more than a few days.

5. Waking. Especially when she's working on cutting that very first tooth, your baby may fuss during the night as well as during the day, so be prepared for a little extra crib-side duty for a while.


Those symptoms describe my baby exactly! So regardless of what the other articles say, I'm convinced that my 11 week old baby is teething.

With that said, here is a picture of this sweet girl:

Breastfeeding difficulties

The past few days have been a little difficult and frustrating. For whatever reason, Jaelyn has decided that there are times when she isn't interested in breastfeeding. I've tried researching stuff online, but have really come up with nothing.
Finally I talked to a lactation consultant. She thought that maybe my milk supply was low, or that I have a slow letdown and Jaelyn is just getting frustrated when she nurses because she isn't getting it as fast as she would like.
This is what she does now: She will latch on and nurse for a few minutes. 5 at the most. Then she will turn her head and pull away, latch back on for one to two seconds, pull off and turn away. She continues to do this until she is just so frustrated she starts to cry.Then I get frustrated and start to cry.
Just kidding. But there are times that I feel like it.

So the lactation consultant suggested I pump every 3 hours for the next week to see if I can get my milk supply back up. Easier said than done!

The last few nights Jaelyn has not been sleeping so great. Last night she decided to get up ever 2 hours. So with pumping every 3 hours and Jaelyn waking every 2 hours...I haven't gotten much sleep.

I've seriously been contemplating switching to formula. I really don't want to. Let's just be honest, it's so  much more convenient to just breastfeed your infant then it is to mix formula and heat up a bottle. I'm also super selfish and like the idea of losing weight because of breastfeeding.
And of course, I know that it is just healthier and better all around to continue breastfeeding. Breast is Best, afterall!
But if she's not eating well, and something is wrong, then I don't want to continue doing it.

I will continue to pump for a few more days and see if things get better. If not, it's time to reevaluate things.

Mom Jeans...

I totally get mom jeans now.

Yesterday I was looking at myself in the mirror and I thought "I sure wish I could cover up this belly fat", as I tugged my jeans up higher and higher. And then it dawned on me...mom jeans!

It all makes so much sense now! Even though I have lost all of my baby weight (took 2 months!), my stomach looks...well, different. Muffin top explains it quite well. I can fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, but I don't like the way I look in them.

I will never wear mom jeans, but after becoming a mom myself, I can say that it's definitely tempting.

All about Jaelyn

From day one Jaelyn has let her personality shine. She arrived on the scene with an attitude as big as her 7lb 9.5oz body, and it's only grown along with her. It has definitely been interesting learning the ins and outs of a brand new person.

I have a dramatic and a very particular baby. She wants what she wants when she wants it, and if she is in a mood, she will let everyone know. When she is happy, her face lights up and her grin is as big as her head (and we all know how big an infants head is!). She squeals with delight and her limbs shake excitedly.
When she is angry her whole body tightens up, her face turns bright red and she lets out an ear-piercing scream. It's lovely.

Jaelyn is a crier. Sometimes I think that she enjoys crying. I've gotten quite accustomed to it now, but at first it was very stressful. I wanted to fix her. I wanted her to stop crying. But now...that's just who she is. She doesn't cry as much as she did when she first arrived on the scene, but she still has her moments. And I'm okay with that.

I love her personality! Here are some things I have learned about my baby:

*She fights her sleep:
     I don't know what it is, but this child fights her sleep like no other. When she's falling asleep and doesn't want to, she will shake her head violently from side to side, and flail her tiny arms. If she is soothing herself with a pacifier, she will spit it out.
Luckily I have learned her little tricks. When she starts shaking her head and swinging her arms, I simply hold her still. And when she's trying to spit out her paci, I will just hold it in her mouth. She just can't win. She gives in every time and eventually falls asleep.

*She loves to be held:
     This baby LOVES to be held. If she could have it her way all the time, she would never be put down. And of course I don't mind holding her, but sometimes I just can't get thing done that way. So I will either put her in the moby wrap, or I will set her in her swing. She's learning to be okay with sitting by herself, and even goes through longer periods of contentment by herself.

*She is a night owl:
     Jaelyn LOVES to be up late. I have been trying and trying to get this kid to go to bed early, but she always wakes up after 15-20 minutes. She is typically out for the night between 11-12. The upside of that is that she will often sleep in. So at least we have that going for us. But if we have to be somewhere in the morning...not so great!

*She actually watches t.v.:
     I had no idea that a 2 month old would actually watch the television. I know it's because there are so many different colors and pictures and movements happening. Not to mention the sound. But it's still quite amazing to me. And I know that I said I would never sit my kid in front of the t.v., but I will just be honest here and say that there have been times that I have done that. I sit her in her swing or her bumbo, turn on Sesame Street or Rugrats, and then I am able to fold  load of laundry or wash some dishes before she is ready to do something else.

*She coughs for attention:
     Okay, I don't know that she is actually coughing because she wants attention, but it sure does seem like it. When I'm not paying attention to her, she will cough three times. Obviously it always gets my attention. My baby is coughing. Something must be wrong. Oh no. She coughs and then just looks at me. I swear she is doing it on purpose!

*She is advanced:
     Phil and I like to joke that our baby is so advanced. Anytime she does anything...and I mean ANYTHING, we will say "She is SO advanced!". She can drool or spit up: So advanced. She can hiccup: So advanced. Even her farts are SO advanced (seriously though, her poor little baby farts smell like a grown mans. Disgusting!) Sometimes I forget that other people aren't in on the joke, and I will tell complete strangers how advanced my baby is.
Wouldn't it be funny if we did this her whole life? When she is 19 we will be telling people how advanced our kid is!

I just love this girl! And I can't wait to learn more and more about her! Every day I find out something new. And every day it seems she is learning something new as well. Just today she "rolled over". More like she fell over. But still....she did it! She is so advanced!

Here's the video to prove it:

Things I Said I'd Never, Ever Do

We all have things we said we would never ever do once we have children. I would see parents doing this or that, and I would be quick to judge telling myself that I would NEVER do that once I popped out a little one. How naive. Pre baby Sarah had no idea what she was thinking. Pre baby Sarah didn't realize what being a parent was actually about.

Let's take a look at the things I said I would never do, but alas, find myself doing:

*Dressing up my baby girl
     Now this one I mentioned in a previous post. I told myself that my baby girl wasn't not going to be a girly girl. I was not going to put her in dresses and I certainly wasn't going to put those ridiculous headbands with the giant flowers on her tiny baby head.
But...it's just so irresistible! Baby girls clothes are just SO cute. And I have to put her in the outfits we got at the baby showers, right?! And some of them are dresses. And she did get some of those headbands too. I can't just waste them, now can I?

*Have baby stuff everywhere!
     Pre baby Sarah made a point to tell Phil that we were not going to be those parents that allows their children's things to overtake the whole house. In fact, pre baby Sarah said that our bedroom is the "baby free zone". No baby stuff allowed in there. We need a place to go to get away from everything baby and to relax.
Post baby Sarah is laughing out loud. Literally.
Our apartment is tiny. Baby items are many. How does such a tiny person accumulate so many things?
Well, we need a swing and a bouncy seat to satisfy her. We need a baby changing station downstairs so that we don't have to travel up and down those stairs every time she wets herself or spits up.
And our own sanctuary room? Yeah, right. Baby stuff there too.
Sigh...

*Posting pics to facebook
     I was always one of those people that got annoyed looking at facebook because people continuously posted the dumb pictures they took of their children. Yes we get it, you're a new parent and you love your child. But those pictures of your child sleeping are getting rather redundant. Babies sleep.
Oh, you changed your kids outfit and decided to snap a picture of it? Fabulous. I just changed my outfit too. Care to see?
How quickly I was to judge. I can't tell you how many pictures I have taken of Jaelyn sleeping. And ya know what...I couldn't resist posting them to facebook! I realize that nobody else really cares as much as I do. But it's fun to show of your baby. And so...I suppose I will continue to do that too.

*Let my kids watch t.v. at a young age
     Now before you are quick to judge, I do not just sit my infant in front of a television. But I will tell you that Jaelyn loves the t.v. Probably because it's colorful and it moves and there is noise.
And so, if I would like a few minutes (or maybe a half hour) of peace, Jaelyn and I will watch t.v. And ya know what's absolutely wonderful? She doesn't even care what we are watching! She let's me pick every time. What a great daughter!

*Allow my baby to sleep in bed with me
     When I was pregnant people were constantly making comments about the baby sleeping in my bed. Some would say how it was a terrible thing and to never do it. Some would say it's great for you and the baby. Some would comment on how I'd never have my room back again.
I'd always smile and nod, but inside I'd roll my eyes. I already knew what I was going to do. The baby was not going to be sleeping in my bed. She was only going to stay in my room for the first week or two, and then it was off to her own room and crib.
And I'm happy to say that that is mostly true still. Jaelyn did stay in our room the first several weeks. A bit more than 2 weeks though. But she was always in the pack n play.
When she was a month old she began sleeping in her own room.
And as far as her sleeping with me...well, in the mornings after Phil goes to work and Jaelyn wakes up to eat, I will put her in bed with me and we will sleep an extra hour or two all snuggled together. I love it!

I'm sure there are going to be a lot more things that I said I wouldn't do and then end up doing them. Or things that I said I would do, but now choose not to.

Being a parent is funny business!

Newborn to Infant

My new favorite thing is comparing pictures of when Jaelyn was first born with how she looks now. It's crazy how much a baby can change in such a short period of time.
It's fun, but it is also a little bit sad. I recently realized that she no longer has a newborn face. She looks like an infant. Her face has filled out, she's got some chubs on her and she is just overall more solid. My little baby is growing up so fast.

Here are the lasted comparison pictures:

Okay, so this might be a silly comparison. But I thought it was pretty funny!

Like Mother Like Daughter

 My mom always told me that I was born with an attitude. From the minute I came out, I had a scowl on my face. That is exactly how Jaelyn is. She can look like she has such an attitude problem at times. Is attitude hereditary?!

I was holding Jaelyn's tiny baby feet today, and I thought "How could these cute little toes be any cuter?!"
It was, at first, a rhetorical question. Obviously her toes just couldn't get any cuter!
Then I chuckled out loud (literally out loud) when I thought about painting her baby toe nails.
And then that silly thought turned into something that I just couldn't resist doing.

And ta da!!

Since I found out I was having a girl, I kept saying that she wasn't going to be a girly girl, that I wasn't going to put her in dresses or put those silly bow headbands in her hair.
But as I look at her cute little face and her adorable little baby body, the urge to dress her up is just too overwhelming. I find myself looking at hair "things" for her when I'm at the store, dressing her up in cutesy dresses and...obviously now painting her toenails hot pink.
What has happened to me?!

I still can't do the frilly things. Frilly dresses and anything of the sort just makes me cringe. And although I do like to put those silly headband things in her hair now, I still haven't been able to put those giant flowers in her hair. Please Lord, don't let it come to that!!

 Baby headband!

Cute little baby dress!

Comparisons

For as along as I can remember I have been comparing myself to other people. Especially those closest to me. I compare myself to my best friends all the time. And I know that I shouldn't do it. There hasn't been one time that it has ever helped me. I compared my wedding with those friends of mine who were also getting married around the same time as me. I compared my relationship with my husband to my friends' relationship with their husbands. I even compared my pregnancy with that of my friends who were also pregnant at the same time as me. And so I don't know why I thought it would be any different once I had my baby.

All babies are different. That's a given. But when my baby seemed extra fussy compared to my friends little boy that almost never cried, I grew more and more frustrated. And when my baby stayed up late and wouldn't sleep for very long at night, I compared her to my friends son who went to bed early and slept well all night long.

I also wanted a baby that was content to just sit by herself and a baby that cooed and always seemed so happy. And I wanted a baby that went to bed promptly at 7pm and slept well through the night.

But then I had a much needed reminder about comparing my life to that of other people. I was reading an excerpt from a book and came across this quote

         " Savor the moments of this season that will never come around again. We tend to keep waiting for life to get better when, really, it just gets different. If the grass looks greener on the other side of your fence, it may be because you’re not investing your time and energy in your own grass. Live in the present".

-What Every Mom Needs

And I realized that I've been being very silly. I love my baby just the way she is. And if I didn't have a friend with a baby, I wouldn't think anything of her fussiness and her not sleeping well through the night (which, by the way, she sleeps very well now). I'm only comparing her because she is different than another baby. And like I said earlier...all babies are different.

This quote made me realize that I love this stage of who my baby is, and I really don't want her to be any different. Because she tends to be a little more fussy, I get to hold her more and cuddle her more. And I love that. 

She's learning to be more content with just being put down, but she still longs to be held and cuddled. And how can complain about getting to do that with their precious little girl?!

So...when I begin to compare my kid with the kid next door, I'm going to remember this moment.

Time to brag...just a little

I need a moment to brag about my amazing baby.

The past week she has been sleeping SO well. She will go to sleep between 10:30pm-11:30 and stay asleep until about 4:30am. And then she goes right back to sleep and will wake up again between 7:30am-8:30.
It has been so wonderful getting a few extra hours of sleep. And she typically takes a morning nap around 10am, so I know that I will usually have a chance to get some things done, or also take a nap if I'm still tired.

And since I'm writing this for everyone to read, I've probably jinxed myself and she will no longer sleep that well.

But I just had to brag on my precious girl.

And while I'm at it, here are some pictures of her!!

Newer "mom" do

Okay, so my hair wasn't at all what I had wanted. What I wanted the lady to do (which I explained to her, but apparently she didn't understand) was to take my natural color and do some low lights, so that when my hair grows out, it's not two drastically different colors. That way, I will eventually have less maintenance. My hair can just grow out and I can be done with the whole coloring thing.

But she did highlights of the random red hair color that was in there. Why?! I have not a clue.

Anyway, I went to my mom's for a couple of days and she totally hooked me up! She added brown to the bottom layer of of my hair, and also put in some low lights throughout the top. She did an amazing job!!

I've decided that I'm no longer going to pay to have my hair done. I always have to have my mom fix it anyway.

I think I've said that before...

Thanks mom, this is exactly what I wanted!!!

That's obviously not a picture of my hair. But I just wanted to show how Jaelyn was chillin with me as I typed this. She's so adorable!!

Baby Fever?

I had one of those crazy moments recently. As I was looking at my sweet sleeping baby girl, I thought "Hey, this isn't so bad. I could totally handle another one". And since then, I have had this crazy baby fever thing happening.
I have always wanted to have kids close together in age. My brother and I were only 13 months apart, and it was nice growing up with a sibling only a year older than me. We always had someone to play with, conspire with and to blame things on. So much fun!

But then she has one of those evenings when she is crying inconsolably, and I think that I can barely handle one, so how can I possibly handle two?!

Right now though, she is sitting contently against my chest, and again I feel that it's totally doable. I've got that crazy baby fever thing happening and I there's nothing I can do about it.
Of course, we are not trying to have another baby. At least not this soon.

Oh, and there's the fact that Phil doesn't feel the same way as me. And I guess he has something to do with the whole process, so we shall wait to have another. But if...just if we happened to get pregnant any time soon, I don't think I'd be terribly upset.

One month

Baby girl is one month old today! I cannot believe it has already been a whole month since since my baby was  born. I know this is silly, but it makes me sad that the time is going by so fast. She has already changed in so many ways.

Newborn picture!!

 One month old!

First ever bath!

 First bath at home 

(okay, so she wasn't a month old, but this picture is just so stinkin cute!)

Some of the changes I have noticed:

-She sleeps much better at night. Goes about 4 hours between feedings now!

-She will sometimes mimic our facial expressions (like sticking out her tongue)

-She coos and caas, and also smiles while she is awake

-She seems more content when she is awake. She used to cry and was fussy when she was awake

-She grabs things (hence the reason I cut my hair!)

-She sleeps in her own room during nap time now

-She doesn't always need me to rock her to sleep. She can fall asleep without being "put" to sleep.

-She's bigger!! No longer wearing newborn diapers (partly because we are out!), and some of her newborn clothes are getting a little tight. Not to mention that she weighed 9lbs at her last doctor appointment!

New "Mom" do

Well...I just went for it. I decided to just get it cut. It's actually not really what I wanted, but it'll do. And luckily for me, my hair grows fast. So soon it will be where I want it. For now though, it's out of Jaelyn's reach, and that's all that matters!! 

Much shorter than I anticipated. But...it's not bad.

Jaelyn waking up

Jaelyn pooping!!!

Falling back asleep after her massive diaper explosion.

Time for a Change

Well, I suppose my blog is no longer about my Life as a Pregnant Woman (or is it? dun dun dun!). I am now a new mom (with a baby that is waking up from her nap. So I'd  better hurry), and my blog must indicate that. So...title change.

And since change is in the air...I am considering a little change myself. I feel as though a haircut is in order. I don't know why I always feel like I need to cut my hair after a big life event (chopped it all off and dyed it red after I got married), but I do.

I've just discovered that it's nearly impossible to take a shower, let alone dry and straighten my hair everyday. So perhaps a shorter mom haircut is in order. And while I'm at it, I'm thinking about dying my hair back to it's normal color so that that is also less maintenance. Of course, Phil loves my long blonde hair (did I mention that he now wants me to go bleach blonde?!), and I still need to make my husband happy.
Perhaps we can compromise; he will blow dry and straighten my hair, and I will keep it long and (bleach) blonde.

I haven't made any decisions yet. But, I'm definitely leaning towards the shorter hair. Especially now that Jaelyn has taken to grabbing it and pulling it out. Perhaps I'll make a decision within the week.....

3 Weeks

It has been 3 weeks since I've given birth, and I must say, it's getting surprisingly easier. It's like, as soon as I hit the three week mark, I finally got the hang of it. We sort of have a routine now. Things aren't as unpredictable as they were in the very beginning. I'm actually starting to get to know my baby.
It's quite exciting. But more than that, it's comforting and encouraging.

I no longer feel overwhelmed and unhappy when Jaelyn has her fussy time in the evenings. I've begun a little routine that seems to tire her out and keeps me sane. She usually wakes up from her last nap when Phil is going to  bed- around 8pm. And then her and I just hang out, watching t.v., cuddling, walking round the living (I typically do the walking), etc. Sometimes I use her to exercise. Who knew how much exercise you could get carrying around a newborn!?!
Then around 10 pm I give her a bath (most evenings, not every), then I give her a little massage with some lotion, then jammie time. Finally she eats around 10:30 and usually falls asleep around 11pm or so.

It's a fun little routine that I'm beginning to enjoy and look forward to. And ya know what...tonight she didn't even have her really long crying spell that she ALWAYS has at night. So maybe she's getting the hang of things too, and feels more comfortable.

Okay, now I'm distracted by her. Sometimes I just have to stare at her! So I'm gonna go do that instead of writing any more :-)

I LOVE MY BABY!

Baby Blues

We have all heard about the infamous Baby Blues that people talk about. I was warned that it happens to over 50% of women, but in my mind I wasn't one that would be affected by this. Throughout my whole pregnancy I felt like I was on top of my emotions, and that I never got carried away with the hormonal surges that made me sad or angry or whatever (perhaps my husband has a different story to tell...). And so I believed that once I had the baby that I had been longing for, nothing would be different.

Boy was I wrong. Being hormonal and overwhelmed in the days and weeks after giving birth is normal. But I certainly haven't been feeling very normal. I feel like an absolute mess. And I have felt like a failure at times. Even though I was warned about the Baby Blues, nothing could have prepared me for how much I would cry. I know that it is all due to a mixture of hormones, exhaustion, and recovering from birth. But whatever the reasons, it sure is tough getting through these first few weeks.

And while it is still difficult at times (like when she only sleeps for about 10-15 minutes at a time during the night), I know that this stage will pass eventually and she will grow up faster than I want or imagine. So...while it is hard to function on little to no sleep, I'm trying to cherish every moment. Even the ones that make me feel insane.
And when my baby is crying inconsolably, which makes me cry inconsolably, I can look at  her tiny frame and thank God for such and incredible blessing because I know that someday she will be all grown up and I will miss even these moments.

Also, I have a great support system in my husband. What a wonderful husband and father he is! He knows when I'm at my breaking point, ready to sob at the next cry our baby lets out. And so he will take her and let me have a relaxing bubble bath, or whatever it is that I need. It's so amazing to have a supportive partner in all of this.

Yes, I did have the baby

It has been almost 2 weeks since Jaelyn made her debut. It's been a crazy time trying to figure out a newborn, and also trying to figure out how to survive on sleep deprivation. So, the blog has been on hold until I found some time to just sit and think.

And with only getting about an hour of sleep last night, I'm not sure why I decided right now would be the opportune time to write up a little post. Jaelyn is finally asleep, and I think that I should be joining her. Hopefully she doesn't wake up as soon as I lay down. That seems to be our routine lately.

Anyway...the information you have all been waiting for:

Jaelyn Elizabeth Kemp was born on May 29, 2012 at 11:01 pm. She was an extremely healthy baby, weighing 7lbs 9.5oz (not the 8+ lbs the doctor guesstimated) and 21.5 inches long.

The whole labor and delivery thing was not at all what I expected it to be. Hearing countless horror stories from other women, I just knew that I was going to have a terrible delivery. And so I expected the very worst. 

How wrong I was! I was totally surprised by how easy it all seemed.

We were scheduled for an induction at 8am on Tuesday. I really didn't want to be induced, but...and let's just be honest here, I really didn't want to be pregnant any longer either. I was just so ready to meet my baby. And see my toes again.

By 9:30 they had started me on petocin and broken my water. How totally uncomfortable! Water leaking out of you all day is just not fun. I held off on getting an epidural for several reasons. One, I didn't want a giant needle in my back. It totally freaks me out. Two, I didn't want to have to get a catheter. That also really freaks me out. And three, it costs SO MUCH! I was trying to take the less expensive route and just endure. 

Well the enduring was going quite well. I was having contractions, but they were definitely bearable. But around the afternoon/early evening the doctor said that I really wasn't making great progress. And if I did get the epidural, it would make me relax, which could help the baby move down more and all that doctor lingo jargon stuff.

Eventually I just agreed to it. And boy was it a great decision!! I felt great! And I felt no pain until about 9:30 pm. I was certain that the epidural was wearing off, and I continued to push the button frantically, hoping to get some more juice in my system. Of course, it doesn't work like that. But when you're in pain, you don't think very rationally.

And apparently things were progressing quite rapidly. The nurse checked me around 10pm, and said I was at 8cm. Phil was trying to tell me jokes to get my mind off of the pain. But all he really ever got out was "A priest walked into a bar". Over and over again, a priest walked into a bar. Nothing else every happened. It was a bit amusing to see him getting nervous about all that was about to happen. Around 10:30 I called the nurse and told her I was feeling more pressure (And here I thought the epidural would help me NOT feel the pain. Pish posh!). She checked me again and said it was time to push.  Everyone was told to go to the waiting room, and they anticipated being there several more hours.

The nurse said the doctor would be there in about 10-15 minutes. She strolled in as everything was getting underway and delivered my baby at 11:01pm. I pushed for approximately 20-30 minutes.

And here are some pictures to prove that the whole thing really did happen:

I Need a Baby Doctor

My Parody of "I Need a Doctor" by Eminem:


I Need a Baby Doctor
I'm about to lose my mind
You've been in there so long, I'm running out of room
I need a doctor, a baby doctor
I need a doctor, baby doctor to get you outta me


I told my baby one day, that she would come out
Said it really loud and clear, eventually my baby you will come on out
But I don't know if she even believed it when I was saying that
She's just sleeping in there, everyday it's just so warm and dark


Room, I just need a smidge of that
Cause this baby's takin up all the space I got
I just need a snack, I'm so tired of this
And I don't know if I'm awake or asleep, it's hopeless
All I know is you're still in there and I'm growing restless


You kicked my rib, took my breath from me, I blame this pain on you
And for the life of me, I don't know why you won't just push on through
But it just dawned on me, you are stubborn
You want to stay where it's dark
Where there are no lights, and you can kick and punch and kung fu


I don't think you realize how you're hurting me, not the slightest clue
Cause you're so big and overdue
Here comes another rib kick, you gon' havta quit kicking me
I'll be happy when you finally get outta me
But that's not an option, there's nothing else I can do cause



I'm about to lose my mind
You've been in there so long, I'm running out of room
I need a doctor, a baby doctor
I need a doctor, baby doctor to get you outta me




That's all I've got. At least it helped to pass a little bit of time!

Things To Do While Waiting For an Overdue Baby

1. Watch Flash Mob videos on YouTube

2. Movie Marathon (all movies about pregnancy/babies: Baby Mama, Juno, Father of the Bride 2, Knocked Up, What to Expect When You're Expecting (yes, it's a movie now), The Switch, Backup Plan)

3. Play hours of tetris

4. Write those thank you cards from your baby shower that took place at the beginning of April

5. Pretend the Dr. has ordered bed rest because you're "so pregnant", and be lazy ALL day long (no one will be the wiser)

6. Try on your wedding dress (haha! Just kidding. Only do this if you want to sob uncontrollably.)

7. Learn a few sarcastic and witty replies to people's obnoxious comments about you STILL being pregnant.

8. Explain to the baby that if he or she doesn't come out RIGHT NOW, you are adding this to your "I'll spank you when you're old enough because..." list. (other things on the list include: the purposeful jabs to the ribs, putting extra pressure on my pelvic area making me look like an idiot in public when I nearly collapse to the ground, and the acid that literally comes up my throat in the middle of the night)

9. Take yet another nap (why not? It's not like you can sleep through the night now if you wanted to)

10. Pack your hospital bag...again...for the 10th time.

11. Shave your legs! That one is sure to take some time! (and yes, just because you can't see them, there is still hair down there(applies to other parts of your body as well)).

12. Make a list of everything you won't miss about being pregnant

13. Make a list of all the things you will miss about being pregnant (Just because you're past due, doesn't mean you can't think of ONE thing you will miss).

14. Eat the foods you know you won't be able to eat once the baby is born and you're overly concerned with fitting into your pre-pregnancy clothes (including your wedding dress from 2 years ago).

15. Write silly blog entries

16. Read postsecrets

17. Stalk people on facebook (probably something you do anyway!)

18. Make a list of all the people who have already had their babies, and refuse to talk to them for the day (that's not very nice!)

19. Go ahead and try all of those natural labor inducing techniques that you  have been trying for a week now, even though you know that it's all a bunch of malarkey anyway.

20. Remind yourself that the baby will come when the baby is ready, and then promptly punch yourself in the face (refer to previous post if you're confused).

Things that make me want to punch you in the face

I'm not normally a violent person. Rarely do I even get angry. So let's chalk up my recent development of wanting to punch people in the face for their annoying comments to a surge of hormones revving through my body.

Here is what is making the list as of late (and you've probably said this to me, so don't take offense. Just stop saying it! haha!):

-"The baby will come when the baby is ready": I KNOW this! It doesn't help in the least bit when someone flippantly dismisses my overall uncomfortable-ness with this very annoying comment. I want to punch you in the face. And yes, that includes my doctor too!

-"Just walk it out": Oh okay. It's that easy, eh? Well I've been walking at least 2 miles every day or every other day for over a week now. Still no baby. Oh, what's that? The baby will come when the baby is ready? I will definitely punch you in the face.

-"I did [insert labor inducing method here], and went right into labor. You should try that!!!"- I appreciate your helpful piece of advice, but doing jumping jacks, eating pineapple, having sex, eating spicy food, jogging, walking up and down the stairs, and any other thing you happened to do right before labor began is not helping me!

-"Weren't you supposed to have that thing already?": Yes, this "thing" growing inside of me was supposed to come out already. We're not sure what the problem is, but it could be that she stays in here forever. Thank you for your sympathy and support. Now please walk over here so I can punch you in the face.

-"Have you had the baby yet": Yes, I had her. We are just keeping her hidden in the closet. We don't want people looking at our baby.

-"When are you going to have that baby?": Really? Like I can just command her to come out when I wish. As if I haven't already tried that one anyway!

-"Don't let your water break on my [insert whatever it is I happen to be sitting on]": I was planning on sitting here and popping my own bag of waters so that I could intentionally get it all over this seat. Because I'm THAT kind of person. Oh, and because I have control over that sort of thing. Come sit next to me so I can punch you in the face.

-"Being overdue isn't that bad.": No? There are some perks to not yet having a baby, I totally get that. But let's be honest here. I still get up throughout the night because I have to pee every 5 minutes (that's a bit dramatic). But, because I'm toting this giant stomach around, it's a struggle to get out of the bed.  I may not have to change poopy diapers, or listen to a baby cry, or have my life revolve around an infant. But there are still some limitations to being almost 10 months pregnant. And the really frustrating thing...I can't hold my sweet little baby! So yeah, being overdue is that bad. And I haven't even mentioned all of the strange and very excruciating pains taking place down below!

I'm sure there's more, but now I'm tired. Also, this isn't a serious post. Unless you say something on my list!

Yes, we are still pregnant...

It's funny how people start eyeing you like a ticking time bomb when you're several days past your due date. A due date is not the same as an expiration date! I'm  not gonna spoil like milk, or explode at any given moment.
It's hard to explain to others, and really even to myself, that the due date is just an educated guess, and really the baby can come 2 weeks before or 2 weeks after.
But of course, we all circle the expected due date in red on the calendar, and wait in eager anticipation for that specific day. And even though we tell ourselves it's only a prediction, and it's likely not to happen then, we still get our hopes up for that day.

And then that day comes and goes. And the next day comes and goes. And the next...

I know it's only 3 days past that day for me, but I'm starting to feel at my wits end. And I could have another week to go. That thought makes me furious! Crazy hormones!
And it's always lovely to get those comments from well meaning friends and family, or just those people that think they are being funny.
-"Have you had that baby yet?"
-"What, have you been pregnant for like a year now?"
-"You're STILL pregnant?!"
-"You look like you're gonna pop at any minute"
-"Are you SURE there aren't two in there...?"
-"I'm ready for you to have that baby."
Oh really?! YOU are ready for me to have this baby? Try carrying this chunker around day after day!

Today we had a dr appt, complete with a sonogram. The baby is looking good. She tried to get some nice pictures, but we have a pretty stubborn child in there. She turned away right as she was taking the picture, and decided not to cooperate.
Everything looks good though, and Jaelyn is super healthy, if a bit on the chubby side. I was told she weighs about 8 lbs 6 oz already. Although, I have some serious doubts about that educated guess. My friend was told her baby was over 9 lbs, and when he was born he was only a bit over 7 lbs. So we shall see.

If she doesn't make her debut on her own, we are scheduled for an induction on Tuesday the 29th. I'm less than thrilled about that. I really want to avoid being induced at all costs. Though, I'm sure by that time, I'll be ready to do anything to get her out.

I think some natural labor inducing methods are in order here! And hopefully, prayerfully, something is successful in coaxing this stubborn child out of me.

She looks so squished and uncomfortable in there (you and me both, Jaelyn. You and me both)

A Day Overdue

It's a strange thing to watch your due date come and go. Mixed emotions for sure. Oddly enough though, I have been quite patient and content these last few days. Friday I had one of those crazy "nesting" days. Seriously, I was a bit insane. I cleaned the house, and then went on a mini shopping spree. I stocked up on different types of foods I could cook and freeze. Mostly breakfast foods.
Then I spent several hours cooking and baking. Phil was slightly annoyed for a few reasons. First of all, it made the house a little heat box. It was so hot, in fact, that he actually turned the air on. Shocker!
Secondly, he was annoyed that I wouldn't let him eat any of it. I guess, to him, it didn't make sense that I was cooking so much and freezing it all, and wouldn't let him have even one little thing. I know he snuck a muffin when I wasn't looking though!

 I made 3 dozen muffins!

 I made one dozen breakfast burritos!!

 I made one dozen bacon, egg and cheese english muffins!!

All packaged up and in the freezer! 

(And Phil still doesn't understand why he has to wait until the baby is born before he gets any. All he knows is that I'm pregnant and hormonal, and this is serious!)

But now, my nesting fever has subsided. Well, I take that back. I've been rearranging furniture like a crazy person. I even bought a new shelf, thinking that we needed the extra storage in our room. I guess, maybe I just wish that this nesting instinct will pass. Then maybe I'll get a baby!

Up until last night, I really haven't experienced any braxton hicks contractions. Nothing very noticeable anyway. But last night! I was having terrible lower abdominal cramps, and some pretty serious contractions. Phil was convinced the baby was about to pop out at any second. I tried telling him it wasn't time, but he had his mind made up. Eventually though, he calmed down (after packing up some stuff and moving everything to the front door), and went to bed. 

I stayed up for hours, wondering if perhaps it was the real deal after all. Eventually though, the contractions subsided. False hope. But at least something is happening. So that is something to be excited about.

I  have a doctor's appt on Thursday. We will get an ultrasound to check on the baby and the quality of my placenta. Apparently it can start to go "bad"? My doctor said if she isn't here by Thursday, she will schedule me to be induced on Monday, the 28th. Depending on the results of the ultrasound, I may just tell her no. I don't wan to be induced. Even if that means waiting another week (I say that now...).

But we shall see!