People always talk about the “calm before the storm”. Not
necessarily in relation to the weather. More like their lives. Everything is
all fine and dandy, going smoothly, working out just right. It’s inevitable
that a storm is up ahead, right? Something terrible is brewing just around the
corner. At least that’s the way it seems a lot of the time.
I guess, in any given life, there are bound to be periods of
calm and periods of chaos. It just comes with the territory of being human and
living on this earth.
I am currently experiencing one of those so called “storms”.
Things have suddenly taken an unexpected turn. The plans we once had, the
direction we were headed mere days ago can suddenly be seen in the rear view
mirror, instead of looming up ahead.
We are currently in France, studying the language so we can
be effective ministers of the Gospel in West Africa. Or, at least that’s what
we were doing last week.
This week we are heading back to the States.
Chaos. A Storm.
I just took the Littles to the nursery. Their second to last
day going there. The house is in utter disarray. Things are half-packed, piling
up. The floor is covered in snacks and food that the kids have dropped on the floor
and then trampled as they played. Suitcases are laying about, ready to be
filled up. Clothes are needing to be washed- just one more time in France. The
house needs to be cleaned, the rest of our belongings need to be packed,
loose ends need to be tied up here and plans need to be made for there. It is
utter chaos. There is a storm a brewin!
And yet…here I sit, writing a blog and drinking my coffee
while everything around me goes undone.
I feel calm.
Two days left to get everything accomplished. Typically when
I think about a deadline so close with so much still to do, panic sets in. I
scurry around doing a thousand different things because I’m so bombarded with
everything that I just can’t settle on what exactly needs to be done first.
But right now, in this moment, calm. I feel calm. I feel
peace. God’s peace.
I will admit though, that these last few weeks I have felt
anything but calm. Fear gripped me. I cried a lot. I pleaded with the Lord. I
felt somewhat abandoned. I begged God for answers, for understanding, for help.
The words that I continued to hear over and over again where
“wait and see”.
Wait and see?! What kind of an answer is that?! That’s not what
I’m looking for. Don’t you get that I’m tired of waiting? I just want answers!
I want to know what’s going on. I want to understand all of this.
Wait and see.
I’m discovering that God knows best. God’s timing is best. It
doesn’t always seem that way. In fact, sometimes it seems the complete
opposite. We question, “Are you sure you’ve got this God?” We give Him our input,
our thoughts, our opinions, even our demands. We accuse. We argue. We fight Him
all along the way.
But God just wants us to wait and see. He’s got it all
figured out. His plans are bigger than our plans. His ways are better than our
ways. It doesn’t make sense. And you know what, I’m starting to see that it
doesn’t have to. It doesn’t have to make any kind of sense to me. I would like
it to. But more often than not, it just doesn’t work out that way. And I need
to be okay with that. Because the truth of the matter is that God has never let
me down. Not once!
Wait and see. That’s what He’s telling me in this moment. As
I sit in the middle of the storm and feeling nothing but calm.
This morning my coffee cup reads “Trust in the Lord with all
your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you
do, and He will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6”.
Ironic? No, I do not believe so. It’s God’s way of showing that
He really does care, that I don’t need to be in control and know everything. I
can sit in His peace while the world around me goes dark in the storm.
Just wait and see what happens next.
