These past 5 months have been so great! There have been so many laughs, so much joy, so many surprises and fun times. I love my husband dearly, and I am thrilled to be married to this man.
But that doesn't mean that marriage isn't also filled with some heartache and sadness, some fights and some bad times. That's all a part of learning and growing in your relationship. I guess for me, it's what you take away from those moments.
It seems to me that marriage is full of learning moments. I'm constantly learning new things about Phil and even about myself. It's strange how living with one person and constantly being around that one person reveals so much about yourself. I read a quote by Katherine Anne Porter that pretty much sums it up. She said "Marriage is the merciless revealer, the great white searchlight turned on the darkest places of human nature".
It's so true! There are things about myself that are being revealed. Things that I just don't like.
And then I think, well...it's really kind of a blessing in disguise because now I have the opportunity to work on those terrible flaws that I have. And would I have worked on them before? Well, probably not because I really didn't know what kind of a monster was in me all this time :-)
But seriously, I think that marriage is a great opportunity to learn more about ourselves and then change those things that need to be dealt with.
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My desire is to be involved in a woman's ministry. I want to meet with other married woman and discuss....well marriage! I want to talk to others about the joys of being married, about the struggles of marriage, about our husbands, about our dreams and passions and whatever else is going on in life.
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Okay...I'm just going to say it. I don't care what other people say. In fact, I know that there is a bet going on how long I will actually stay at this one job. But....I'm gonna say it anyway: I don't really care for my job.
Here's the thing (yes, I know...I always have SOME excuse): It's like working in a nursing home. And anybody that knows me knows that I HATE working in a nursing home. I just can't do it. I don't have it in me. It's not my thing. I have no desire whatsoever, no passion, nothing.
And all of a sudden, I just don't care for the healthcare field. Maybe it has run its course.
Or, maybe my problem is that I just feel like I need to try everything. I don't know what my deal is. But I do know that this job is not what I thought it would be. Geriatrics? Really?
What I really want (career wise) is a job in the field that I actually went to school for. I'm not at all interested in going back to school for something else. I went to college for 5 years, I put in my time. I want to utilize the degree that I already have. Is that so much to ask? So, now I am searching and searching for something that will suit me. Suit my passions and my desires.
Of course, I'm not about to quit the job that I have. So please, don't start trying to collect on those bets just yet. And ya know what...maybe I won't even tell anyone if I quit my job and get something else.
Maybe it'll be my little secret (well, Phil's secret too, I guess)....
