I definitely need to start being more productive with my life. Just being lazy and bum-like was fun for a time, but after a few weeks I just start to feel so worthless. I need to have some kind of meaning to my life. I need to be doing something...something that means something.
And so I found a place here in Quincy that works with pregnant woman who need assistance, as well as offers a food pantry, diaper pantry and clothing closet to those in the community. I was instantly intrigued and wanted to offer my services. I called them up, set up a time to meet and then I journeyed to the Madonna House.
Turns out, it's about a 30 minute walk. Google insisted that I walk down 9th street the entire way. I wasn't really sure why, considering that it was on 12th street. I could have just walked down the same street all the way there. But, I thought that Google knew something that I didn't, and I wasn't about to get caught in some kind of scary area.
Well, little did I know that Google was, in fact, taking me through a very scary area.
The further I continued to walk, the more nervous I became. You know you're in a strange neighborhood when men are half naked and pulling heavy objects down the road in wagons. Or when a vehicle is driving down the road, but slows way down when passing you up.
I was walking past this maintenance garage, when all of a sudden I saw this man practically running toward me. He got to the edge of the driveway and started mumbling at me. He stated that "You went the wrong way. You should have gone through the back door." He continued to mumble other things that I could not understand.
I walked away quickly, thinking that I had indeed gone the wrong way. And next time I will not listen to Google. I also decided that next time I will not wear such bright clothing.
I finally made it to the Madonna House, but I was earlier than I had anticipated. So I decided to take a stroll to the next block. Oddly enough, I found the John Wood mansion and log cabin. I decided to walk around. Apparently, one could tour the place. I thought it would be fun for Phil and I to go there someday. But then I realized that it actually seemed quite lame. It was just a big house, probably a little bit bigger than the one I am living in now. They had a tiny store next to the "mansion", and it also doubled as the visitor center. After about 5 minutes I was bored with the place. Plus, it was about 94 degrees outside and I felt I might die of heat exhaustion. So I went to the Madonna House.
The ladies that work there are extremely nice and fun to be around. I decided that the Madonna House could be my new hang out place. I told them that I am not doing anything productive this summer, so I wouldn't mind volunteering any day out of the week. My experience there was fun, and I look forward to going back.
On the walk home, I decided that I would take 12th street the entire way. And I discovered why Google had sent me down 9th street. The two streets were just blocks from one another, yet they were drastically different. While 9th street was complete with houses that all had 'No Trespassing' signs on their doors, unmowed lawns, dingy looking houses and broken sidewalks (not to mention the half naked men pulling heavy objects down the street), 12th Street was filled with Mansion sized houses, freshly manicured lawns, great looking sidewalks and streets that were made of gold. Okay, maybe the streets were not made of gold, but they might as well have been.
And maybe Google didn't intentionally send me down 9th street so I would be aware of the odd and almost tragic difference between streets, but it sure opened up my eyes.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The Pains of Spontaneity
Yesterday I decided to be a little adventurous. I've been cooped up in our tiny living quarters for far too long, and I needed a breath of fresh air. Little did I know that being spontaneous came with a price.
At first, I was just going to walk to the post office. I had a general idea of where it was, so I made myself a bagel sandwich and headed out into the heat. I really had no idea that it was going to be that hot outside. But, I told myself that I was a brave little soul, and that a little heat wouldn't kill me. The workers outside the front door greeted me with a hearty hello. I just grunted and waved, as my mouth was full of bagel sandwich. Later I wondered what they were doing right outside the front door. The empty lot next to the house is being turned into a parking lot, so there are always workers and big trucks out there making lots of noise. But that is the side of the house, not the front. Strange.
So I knew that the Post Office was on 8th street, but I wasn't entirely sure how to get to 8th street. Later I found out that 8th street was just the next street over from the house. So, if I had turned right, instead of left, when I was leaving, I would have been on the street I needed to be on. I guess I should have looked at the street signs a little closer, because I didn't realize that I was on 9th street the entire time. I just kept trudging along in the heat, hoping that one of the streets would turn into 8th. It never did. Finally, I happened to notice that I was on 9th street and that I just needed to walk a block to get to my street of destination.
Once on 8th street, I wasn't sure which way to walk down. Had I passed up the post office, or did I still need to continue walking in the same direction I had been on 9th street? I decided that I just didn't know. So I texted Chacha the address for the post office in Quincy. Chacha is a service that answers your questions through text messages. It can be awfully convenient when you're in a real bind. However, my experience with chacha has been less than ideal. I don't know why I continue to bother with it.
For example, Phil and I were driving to Quincy the other day. All of a sudden, the sky looked very ominous and then it started pouring and lightening and thundering. It was quite scary. I texted Chacha to see if there were any tornados in the area. Chacha texted me back and declared that I was out of questions and that I would have to wait a certain amount of days to ask another question. I thought that odd, considering I hadn't sent them any messages for quite some time. Phil insisted that I text on his phone. I did. And Chacha said that they needed me to answer 4 questions before they would answer my question.
I was quite taken aback. Considering this could have been a life and death situation. I begrudgingly answered their lame questions and finally got my answer. The answer was that there were thunderstorms in the area. That's it?! Obviously there are thunderstorms. We were caught in the middle of it. I just wanted to know if there was a tornado that we should be aware of.
This question asking escapade wasn't any better. Instead of giving me the address to the post office in Quincy, Chacha gave me the addresses of the post offices in all of the surrounding towns. I was thoroughly annoyed.
Finally I just picked a direction and started walking. Luckily I only had to walk about 5 feet, because I was standing in front of the post office the entire time.
After I got my stamps, I decided that it would be a great idea to walk all the way to the mall. From the house, it is a little over two miles. But I was quite a distance from the house. I don't know how far it was, but I can tell you that it was no easy task. I wore these sandals that I thought would be comfortable. And they are pretty comfortable, if you're not trudging in them for miles. By the time I got halfway there, my feet hurt so bad I thought I might cry.
Finally I made it to the mall. I decided that I would take my shoes off, but strangely enough my feet hurt just as bad with them off as they did with them on. I didn't understand it.
I limped around the mall, trying to find the store that I had went there for.
My best friends bachelorette party is next month, and I needed to get her some goodies. Luckily we got a gift card from our wedding, so I was allowed to use that.
After finishing up my shopping, I tried getting ahold of Phil because there was no way I could walk back to the house. Sadly, my phone was dying and I wasn't sure I would get ahold of him. I needed him to pick me up on his way back from work.
After what seemed like an eternity, Phil got the message and headed my way. Another eternity later, and he was there. As I got in the car Phil informed that some punk kid had side swiped him while driving down the road. But Phil was too tired and frustrated to care at the moment and didn't stop.
I was just happy to be off my feet.
And I think the next time I decide to be spontaneous...I will wear more comfortable shoes.
At first, I was just going to walk to the post office. I had a general idea of where it was, so I made myself a bagel sandwich and headed out into the heat. I really had no idea that it was going to be that hot outside. But, I told myself that I was a brave little soul, and that a little heat wouldn't kill me. The workers outside the front door greeted me with a hearty hello. I just grunted and waved, as my mouth was full of bagel sandwich. Later I wondered what they were doing right outside the front door. The empty lot next to the house is being turned into a parking lot, so there are always workers and big trucks out there making lots of noise. But that is the side of the house, not the front. Strange.
So I knew that the Post Office was on 8th street, but I wasn't entirely sure how to get to 8th street. Later I found out that 8th street was just the next street over from the house. So, if I had turned right, instead of left, when I was leaving, I would have been on the street I needed to be on. I guess I should have looked at the street signs a little closer, because I didn't realize that I was on 9th street the entire time. I just kept trudging along in the heat, hoping that one of the streets would turn into 8th. It never did. Finally, I happened to notice that I was on 9th street and that I just needed to walk a block to get to my street of destination.
Once on 8th street, I wasn't sure which way to walk down. Had I passed up the post office, or did I still need to continue walking in the same direction I had been on 9th street? I decided that I just didn't know. So I texted Chacha the address for the post office in Quincy. Chacha is a service that answers your questions through text messages. It can be awfully convenient when you're in a real bind. However, my experience with chacha has been less than ideal. I don't know why I continue to bother with it.
For example, Phil and I were driving to Quincy the other day. All of a sudden, the sky looked very ominous and then it started pouring and lightening and thundering. It was quite scary. I texted Chacha to see if there were any tornados in the area. Chacha texted me back and declared that I was out of questions and that I would have to wait a certain amount of days to ask another question. I thought that odd, considering I hadn't sent them any messages for quite some time. Phil insisted that I text on his phone. I did. And Chacha said that they needed me to answer 4 questions before they would answer my question.
I was quite taken aback. Considering this could have been a life and death situation. I begrudgingly answered their lame questions and finally got my answer. The answer was that there were thunderstorms in the area. That's it?! Obviously there are thunderstorms. We were caught in the middle of it. I just wanted to know if there was a tornado that we should be aware of.
This question asking escapade wasn't any better. Instead of giving me the address to the post office in Quincy, Chacha gave me the addresses of the post offices in all of the surrounding towns. I was thoroughly annoyed.
Finally I just picked a direction and started walking. Luckily I only had to walk about 5 feet, because I was standing in front of the post office the entire time.
After I got my stamps, I decided that it would be a great idea to walk all the way to the mall. From the house, it is a little over two miles. But I was quite a distance from the house. I don't know how far it was, but I can tell you that it was no easy task. I wore these sandals that I thought would be comfortable. And they are pretty comfortable, if you're not trudging in them for miles. By the time I got halfway there, my feet hurt so bad I thought I might cry.
Finally I made it to the mall. I decided that I would take my shoes off, but strangely enough my feet hurt just as bad with them off as they did with them on. I didn't understand it.
I limped around the mall, trying to find the store that I had went there for.
My best friends bachelorette party is next month, and I needed to get her some goodies. Luckily we got a gift card from our wedding, so I was allowed to use that.
After finishing up my shopping, I tried getting ahold of Phil because there was no way I could walk back to the house. Sadly, my phone was dying and I wasn't sure I would get ahold of him. I needed him to pick me up on his way back from work.
After what seemed like an eternity, Phil got the message and headed my way. Another eternity later, and he was there. As I got in the car Phil informed that some punk kid had side swiped him while driving down the road. But Phil was too tired and frustrated to care at the moment and didn't stop.
I was just happy to be off my feet.
And I think the next time I decide to be spontaneous...I will wear more comfortable shoes.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Losing it All
I was reading in Sacred Marriage the other day, when I came across a paragraph that really grabbed my attention;
Godliness is selflessness, and when a man and woman marry, they are pledging to stop viewing themselves as individuals and start viewing themselves as a unit, as a couple. In marriage, I am no longer free to pursue whatever I want; I am no longer a single man. I am part of a team, and my ambitions, dreams, and energies need to take that into account.
-Sacred Marriage (77)
Lately I had been thinking about how, after I got married, I sort of lost my freedom and my independence. I jokingly told my friends that once you get married, you just start losing things; your own bank account, money, friends, freedom, etc. I was joking when I said it, but there was a truth to what I was saying. I did feel like I had slowly starting losing things since I said "I do".
After all, we did get a joint checking account and now we are on a tight budget (especially since Phil is the only one working). I am not allowed to go spend willy nilly, and I have to ask if I can buy things. I can't just go galavanting off with my friends and take random roadtrips. No longer can I spontaneously decide to lave the country and go on a mission trip for a month or two. And right after we got married, we moved to Quincy, which is no where near any of my friends. So, in a sense, I did lose several things after getting married.
But ya know what? I have gained so much more! I married my best friend and I get to spend the rest of my life with a man that makes me incredibly a happy. And after reading the passage in Sacred Marriage, I realized how true it is that the two become one once they are united in Marriage. And that's okay. In fact, it's more than okay. It's great, it's amazing. It's perfect.
It has taken me a while to understand this whole concept of dying to self. But I think that I am starting to understand it more and more each day. The truth of the matter is that it's not about me. It's about US! And I am excited about no longer viewing myself as an individual, but as a unit. As a couple. I am no longer free to pursue whatever I want; I am no longer a single woman. I am part of a team, and my ambitions, dreams, and energies need to take that into account.
Godliness is selflessness, and when a man and woman marry, they are pledging to stop viewing themselves as individuals and start viewing themselves as a unit, as a couple. In marriage, I am no longer free to pursue whatever I want; I am no longer a single man. I am part of a team, and my ambitions, dreams, and energies need to take that into account.
-Sacred Marriage (77)
Lately I had been thinking about how, after I got married, I sort of lost my freedom and my independence. I jokingly told my friends that once you get married, you just start losing things; your own bank account, money, friends, freedom, etc. I was joking when I said it, but there was a truth to what I was saying. I did feel like I had slowly starting losing things since I said "I do".
After all, we did get a joint checking account and now we are on a tight budget (especially since Phil is the only one working). I am not allowed to go spend willy nilly, and I have to ask if I can buy things. I can't just go galavanting off with my friends and take random roadtrips. No longer can I spontaneously decide to lave the country and go on a mission trip for a month or two. And right after we got married, we moved to Quincy, which is no where near any of my friends. So, in a sense, I did lose several things after getting married.
But ya know what? I have gained so much more! I married my best friend and I get to spend the rest of my life with a man that makes me incredibly a happy. And after reading the passage in Sacred Marriage, I realized how true it is that the two become one once they are united in Marriage. And that's okay. In fact, it's more than okay. It's great, it's amazing. It's perfect.
It has taken me a while to understand this whole concept of dying to self. But I think that I am starting to understand it more and more each day. The truth of the matter is that it's not about me. It's about US! And I am excited about no longer viewing myself as an individual, but as a unit. As a couple. I am no longer free to pursue whatever I want; I am no longer a single woman. I am part of a team, and my ambitions, dreams, and energies need to take that into account.
Friday, June 11, 2010
The beginning
I am a married woman!
That phrase seems so distant from me, like it's not even true. Sometimes I have to remind myself that, yes, I am in fact, married. I think it just seems like we're not really married because we don't have our own place yet. Or, maybe this is normal and it just takes time to adjust.
But I really do think that once we get our own place, it will seem more like we are a married couple and less like we are still dating and just staying at Phil's parents house for a little bit.
Well, the summer is upon us now. I am trying to figure out what to do with my time. Phil is doing his internship for school, so he is really quite busy. But I, on the other hand, have absolutely nothing to do. For the first week or two, it was fun to just be lazy and bum around our living quarters. I enjoyed sitting at the computer, drinking my coffee and just browsing the internet. It was fun to watch tv whenever I felt like it. And I will admit that I have played Sims periodically because it can be quite entertaining. But now...now I just feel lousy about all of that. I feel like I am wasting away my life when I could be doing something productive and meaningful.
I think that a summer job is in order. I applied at a few places, but I really wasn't interested in getting a job. Now I think that it is necessary for my survival this summer. Without keeping busy, I may just go crazy!
That phrase seems so distant from me, like it's not even true. Sometimes I have to remind myself that, yes, I am in fact, married. I think it just seems like we're not really married because we don't have our own place yet. Or, maybe this is normal and it just takes time to adjust.
But I really do think that once we get our own place, it will seem more like we are a married couple and less like we are still dating and just staying at Phil's parents house for a little bit.
Well, the summer is upon us now. I am trying to figure out what to do with my time. Phil is doing his internship for school, so he is really quite busy. But I, on the other hand, have absolutely nothing to do. For the first week or two, it was fun to just be lazy and bum around our living quarters. I enjoyed sitting at the computer, drinking my coffee and just browsing the internet. It was fun to watch tv whenever I felt like it. And I will admit that I have played Sims periodically because it can be quite entertaining. But now...now I just feel lousy about all of that. I feel like I am wasting away my life when I could be doing something productive and meaningful.
I think that a summer job is in order. I applied at a few places, but I really wasn't interested in getting a job. Now I think that it is necessary for my survival this summer. Without keeping busy, I may just go crazy!
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