I'm not normally a violent person. Rarely do I even get angry. So let's chalk up my recent development of wanting to punch people in the face for their annoying comments to a surge of hormones revving through my body.
Here is what is making the list as of late (and you've probably said this to me, so don't take offense. Just stop saying it! haha!):
-"The baby will come when the baby is ready": I KNOW this! It doesn't help in the least bit when someone flippantly dismisses my overall uncomfortable-ness with this very annoying comment. I want to punch you in the face. And yes, that includes my doctor too!
-"Just walk it out": Oh okay. It's that easy, eh? Well I've been walking at least 2 miles every day or every other day for over a week now. Still no baby. Oh, what's that? The baby will come when the baby is ready? I will definitely punch you in the face.
-"I did [insert labor inducing method here], and went right into labor. You should try that!!!"- I appreciate your helpful piece of advice, but doing jumping jacks, eating pineapple, having sex, eating spicy food, jogging, walking up and down the stairs, and any other thing you happened to do right before labor began is not helping me!
-"Weren't you supposed to have that thing already?": Yes, this "thing" growing inside of me was supposed to come out already. We're not sure what the problem is, but it could be that she stays in here forever. Thank you for your sympathy and support. Now please walk over here so I can punch you in the face.
-"Have you had the baby yet": Yes, I had her. We are just keeping her hidden in the closet. We don't want people looking at our baby.
-"When are you going to have that baby?": Really? Like I can just command her to come out when I wish. As if I haven't already tried that one anyway!
-"Don't let your water break on my [insert whatever it is I happen to be sitting on]": I was planning on sitting here and popping my own bag of waters so that I could intentionally get it all over this seat. Because I'm THAT kind of person. Oh, and because I have control over that sort of thing. Come sit next to me so I can punch you in the face.
-"Being overdue isn't that bad.": No? There are some perks to not yet having a baby, I totally get that. But let's be honest here. I still get up throughout the night because I have to pee every 5 minutes (that's a bit dramatic). But, because I'm toting this giant stomach around, it's a struggle to get out of the bed. I may not have to change poopy diapers, or listen to a baby cry, or have my life revolve around an infant. But there are still some limitations to being almost 10 months pregnant. And the really frustrating thing...I can't hold my sweet little baby! So yeah, being overdue is that bad. And I haven't even mentioned all of the strange and very excruciating pains taking place down below!
I'm sure there's more, but now I'm tired. Also, this isn't a serious post. Unless you say something on my list!
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