Let’s just be honest here. Nobody is thrilled to begin potty
training. You may be excited at first about the prospects of no more diapers,
and you may eagerly shop for those big kid undies and a brand new toddler potty
chair.
But that first day….it’s dreadful. And that first day you
kick yourself and wonder why you even attempted this stupid thing in the first
place. Diapers aren’t that bad, right? 2 in diapers is manageable, isn’t it?!
But alas, you already started and in order to avoid really
messing with your poor child (who up until this morning was perfectly content
using a diaper), you push on.
And hopefully….hopefully soon your little one will catch
on and grasp the concept that pee pee and poo poo now goes in the potty.
My first time around was a piece of cake. Like…literally, in
the amount of time I ate a piece of cake Jaelyn was potty trained. Okay,
that’s a bit dramatic. But just a bit. It took a weekend. It was easy and I was
so impressed by her. She was, after all, only 19 months.
This time, however, I was less optimistic. I cannot tell you
the number of people who told me that potty training boys was a LOT harder than
it was with girls. And I witnessed it first hand through friends and family, so
I knew it wasn’t just what people said. It was legit. Potty training a boy
seemed like it was a much bigger task than a girl.
I was planning on putting it off as long as possible, when
suddenly Phil was like “let’s potty train him today!”. What?! Potty train him
today? What does that mean? You can’t just suddenly start potty training! I
need to do research. Gobs and gobs of research. I need techniques and ideas and
ways to bribe him to put his pee pee in the potty. I need a sticker chart. I need a treat for him. I
need to go shopping for big boy undies. I need to talk to him about all of this
for a week or two before we even begin. How dare I just suddenly spring this on
him! Start potty training him today?! Nonsense!
But I took his lead and waited until Sunday after nap
because I knew that I wouldn’t have anywhere to go for several days.
I bought big boy undies and m&m’s and talked up the
whole thing to him the entire weekend. I did my gobs of research, but in the
end I decided we would just take a very casual approach to it. Mostly for my
own benefit. Having a baby makes it especially difficult to be attentive to pee
and poop signals from a toddler all day long. By casual I mean we weren't over zealous to get him to use the potty. If he did, he did. If not, I really didn't care. I was just going to let him go at his own pace.
I reminded myself that this was Pax’s achievement, not mine,
and whatever progress he did or did not make, I wasn’t going to be frustrated
or annoyed.
Day 1 (after naptime): Explained what we were doing. I
showed him the new little potty seat and we set up in the living room. I didn’t
do anything extra like fill him up with drinks (he drinks a ton on his own
anyway). We just did our normal routine, sans diaper for the little guy. We
waited (or I waited) for something to happen. For me, that first pee is the
most important. I wanted him to start going so that I could quickly let him know
that that was pee pee and it now goes in this cool little potty over here.
He was super interested in the potty. And by interested, I
mean he wanted to stand on it and jump off. He didn’t want to sit on it.
That first day we had many accidents on the floor. And I had
to remind myself that it was just day one and that this was all part of it. But
who likes to clean up pee off the floor?!
Day 2: Woke up and immediately took off diaper and tried to
sit on the potty. Again, he doesn’t like sitting on it. He just wants to play
with it.
We have zero success on this day. No pee pee in the potty,
but LOTS on the floor.
Days 3: We ditch the little potty. He won’t sit on it to go.
Oddly, the big potty is appealing to him (perhaps because everyone else in the
house uses it). I know that he has to go, so I sit him on the potty and turn on
the water in the bathtub. He thinks its funny and IT DOES THE TRICK! The kid
pees in the potty!!
We go overboard on the praise and the excitement, even
getting Jaelyn involved. Then we bring out the m&m’s! Pax gets one and so
does Jaelyn. This makes the excitement level go through the roof and Jaelyn is
now totally on board with helping Pax go pee pee on the potty.
Days 4-6: Much of the same. He knows when he has to go and
it’s now a matter of getting to the potty before he pees. When he does,
everyone is excited and clapping for joy (the kids are basically excited for an
m&m). Pax had his first poop on the potty and it was quite the amazing
ordeal! 3 m&m’s for that one!
He’s hooked! He loves it (or does he love the candy?!)
By this time I've ditched my causal approach. He's gotten the hang of it, he knows what's going on and so we press on full force. I'm consistently watching for pee/poop signals (though I do miss some because...well, having an infant makes things a tad more difficult), and we're making every effort to get to the potty in time.
Day 7: It’s Sunday and so we head to church. I decide this
will be our first experience out with no diaper. Sorry nursery staff, you’re
part of our experiment this morning!
I take him potty before we send the kids into the nursery.
No go. Now I’m feeling nervous. But, we press on. I tell the sweet ladies that
he is potty training (I get that quizzical look because he’s still one at this
point), and that he’s not wearing a diaper. And I smile real big. Because that
helps, right?
After service I come back to find that he has not had an
accident! He didn’t go for them, but he also didn’t pee his pants. I whisk him
to the bathroom and he goes for me!
First day of zero accidents!
(That is m&m drool running down his chin...)
It’s been over a month now and I can honestly and happily
say that Pax is potty trained. He knows when he has to go and will just go to
the bathroom on his own (although, we have to be on the look out for that because
if left to his own devices he will play in the toilet…). He goes pee and poop
in the big potty. In fact, he has abandoned the potty seat that goes on top of
the big seat and will now only go on the big seat. Which is quite comical.
We no longer give m&m’s for going- mostly because we ran
out one day and never got anymore. The kids were upset for about 3 seconds and
then quickly forgot about it. Pax still asks for m&m’s on occasion, but
still continues to go without getting that reward.
The First time we were out of m&m's. Mean mugging mommy.
Here are my tips for potty training (a boy or a girl):
-
Be consistent: Once you start, don’t stop. There
are days that it’s going to get super annoying and frustrating. There are times
when you will just really want your kid to be in a diaper out of convenience
(like when you leave the house). Just grit your teeth and remind yourself that
it won’t last forever. The more consistent you are, the quicker it will be.
-
Relax and have fun: Honestly, if you’re relaxed
about the whole thing, so will your kid. Make it fun for him. Be excited. When
you’re kid starts to pee on the floor, quickly pick him up and take him to
the potty all the while saying something like “Good job, that’s pee pee! Pee
pee goes in the potty now!”. Don’t scold for peeing on the floor. Always be
excited, even if your kid doesn’t make it to the toilet for awhile (this goes
back to consistency. Every time pick your kid up and take him to the potty as
he’s peeing. Praise him for going. Remind him it goes in the potty now. Always.
Every time.)
-
Use what your kid loves: Jaelyn has always been
a t.v. head. It worked well to plant her in front of the t.v. for a weekend, with
the potty seat in the living room. Pax does not watch t.v. He loves snacks. It
worked well to bribe him with m&m’s.
-
Get your older kids involved: Obviously if it’s
your first kid, you can’t get an older sibling involved. If you do, use that to
your advantage! Jaelyn was excited to get Pax to use the potty and to cheer for
him when he did go because she also got something in return. Older siblings are
priceless.
-
Get some good carpet cleaner J
-
Remember that this is not YOUR achievement. It’s
your kids. Don’t grow frustrated when he doesn’t go on the potty. It takes
time, but it WILL happen. Again…be consistent. Make it fun. And when you DO
grow frustrated, because you probably will, don’t let your kid see that. Whip
out your key phrase and plant that smile on your face “Good job, that’s pee
pee! Pee pee goes in the potty now!”.
And now…here are a few more resources for your perusal!
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