The Calm in the Storm

People always talk about the “calm before the storm”. Not necessarily in relation to the weather. More like their lives. Everything is all fine and dandy, going smoothly, working out just right. It’s inevitable that a storm is up ahead, right? Something terrible is brewing just around the corner. At least that’s the way it seems a lot of the time.

I guess, in any given life, there are bound to be periods of calm and periods of chaos. It just comes with the territory of being human and living on this earth.

I am currently experiencing one of those so called “storms”. Things have suddenly taken an unexpected turn. The plans we once had, the direction we were headed mere days ago can suddenly be seen in the rear view mirror, instead of looming up ahead.

We are currently in France, studying the language so we can be effective ministers of the Gospel in West Africa. Or, at least that’s what we were doing last week.

This week we are heading back to the States.

Chaos. A Storm.

I just took the Littles to the nursery. Their second to last day going there. The house is in utter disarray. Things are half-packed, piling up. The floor is covered in snacks and food that the kids have dropped on the floor and then trampled as they played. Suitcases are laying about, ready to be filled up. Clothes are needing to be washed- just one more time in France. The house needs to be cleaned, the rest of our belongings need to be packed, loose ends need to be tied up here and plans need to be made for there. It is utter chaos. There is a storm a brewin!

And yet…here I sit, writing a blog and drinking my coffee while everything around me goes undone.

I feel calm.

Two days left to get everything accomplished. Typically when I think about a deadline so close with so much still to do, panic sets in. I scurry around doing a thousand different things because I’m so bombarded with everything that I just can’t settle on what exactly needs to be done first.

But right now, in this moment, calm. I feel calm. I feel peace. God’s peace.

I will admit though, that these last few weeks I have felt anything but calm. Fear gripped me. I cried a lot. I pleaded with the Lord. I felt somewhat abandoned. I begged God for answers, for understanding, for help.

The words that I continued to hear over and over again where “wait and see”. 

Wait and see?! What kind of an answer is that?! That’s not what I’m looking for. Don’t you get that I’m tired of waiting? I just want answers! I want to know what’s going on. I want to understand all of this.

Wait and see.

I’m discovering that God knows best. God’s timing is best. It doesn’t always seem that way. In fact, sometimes it seems the complete opposite. We question, “Are you sure you’ve got this God?” We give Him our input, our thoughts, our opinions, even our demands. We accuse. We argue. We fight Him all along the way.

But God just wants us to wait and see. He’s got it all figured out. His plans are bigger than our plans. His ways are better than our ways. It doesn’t make sense. And you know what, I’m starting to see that it doesn’t have to. It doesn’t have to make any kind of sense to me. I would like it to. But more often than not, it just doesn’t work out that way. And I need to be okay with that. Because the truth of the matter is that God has never let me down. Not once!

Wait and see. That’s what He’s telling me in this moment. As I sit in the middle of the storm and feeling nothing but calm.

This morning my coffee cup reads “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6”.

Ironic? No, I do not believe so. It’s God’s way of showing that He really does care, that I don’t need to be in control and know everything. I can sit in His peace while the world around me goes dark in the storm.

Just wait and see what happens next.

Will you give baby the breast: On preparing to have a baby in France

Fumbling to communicate. Every appointment is exactly the same. She speaks a little bit of English. I speak even less French (though I must give myself some credit, because after 3 months of French class, I can actually understand and communicate some). I rack my brain for comprehension.

Okay…she said that in English, right? Shouldn’t I know what she’s talking about.

We look at each other, both with the same confused expression. Both with a slight grin, knowing that we want to be able to communicate so desperately. After all, this isn’t some casual conversation with an acquaintance. Having a baby is a pretty big deal. Medical information, knowing what to do and how to do things, getting labs and ultrasounds, registering at the hospital…all of this is pretty important.

Focus Sarah. She’s saying something. She asked a question. No, she is telling me what I need to do.

I stare at her for what seems an inappropriate amount of time to stare at someone without saying anything.

Ah yes! I understood one word and the rest just sort of came together. She will do my group B strep test here and I will need to carry it to the Lab myself. Oh, how fun. That doesn’t sound awkward at all. 

I’m grinning now. Inwardly I’m applauding myself for understanding that. How did I know what she was saying? I must be pretty smart! I must know French better than I think. I will have to remember to tell Phil how smart I am!

I have to keep reminding myself to listen, to focus. It’s so hard to understand what she's saying, if I don't just miss it all completely. If I don’t automatically know what is being said I tend to just tune it out. That’s why listening to dialogue in French class is always so difficult for me.

Will I give baby the breast? What does that mean? She hands me a pamphlet. Oh! Breastfeeding. Will I breastfeed my baby. Well, yeah…I had planned on it.

She just looks at me, shrugs, and continues to ask other questions. Or gives me more information. I can’t be certain.

I’m just going to be honest, I would really prefer completely understanding what is going on when I see the midwife or register to have my baby at the hospital. But, it’s also not been too bad. Luckily I have not been in a situation where the person I’m talking to doesn’t speak one word of English and I can’t understand anything they are saying in French.

(Okay, well there was that one incident at the hospital where the receptionist and I couldn’t communicate at all. I’m pretty sure we had some major miscommunications about paying for my visit. I thought she said I didn’t need to pay her. And so I didn’t. I’m still not sure….)

And so while it hasn’t been the ideal experience that I would have liked, it’s still working out. I have a midwife that does monthly check ups, I’ve gotten two sonograms, I’ve had my labs done, registered at the hospital, and just overall have had an okay experience. I’m healthy and the baby is healthy, and so the few miscommunications and embarrassing grins are just a part of the story.

Here are some things that are different here than having a baby back home (mind you, I haven’t actually had a baby here yet. Still 2 months away):

Modesty: I was warned about the modesty, or lack-there-of, before coming to France. Here is a little snapshot of what it’s like when I go to see the midwife:

I go into her office, which also happens to be the exam room. We go over medical information, I give her my recent lab results. She asks me to step on the scale and then tell her how much it says (really?! You trust me to tell you exactly how much I weigh?!). Then she motions for me to get undressed from the waist down. She doesn’t leave the room. There’s no curtain, no gown, no white paper blanket that I lay over my lap. There’s no pricey dinner, where we get to know each other first. Just plain ol awkward nakedness in her office.

Medical records: In France we are in charge of our own medical records. We are to keep a nice little folder with all of our information, and we take it with us to whatever appointment we have. When I get a sonogram done, I need to retain the information so that I can give it to my midwife. When I get my labs done, I keep the results myself so that I can share them with my midwife. All off my medical records are MY records and I am the one in charge of them. When I eventually go to the hospital to have my baby, I will need to bring all of my records with me. There is no sharing of records among the medical professionals, each person is responsible for their own stuff

Nursing a baby: Ho hum. That’s how I would describe the attitude towards breastfeeding here. Granted, I haven’t been here long. But from what I’ve seen and what I’ve heard, it’s just not something that is highly regarded. Great if you want to do it, but it’s not something that is really pushed for or advocated. And breastfeeding in public…I’ve just not seen it at all. Even when the midwife asked if I was going to give baby the breast, she didn’t seem at all happy about it, didn’t offer up any more information than the pamphlet she gave me.

Hospital Stay: The minimum time to stay in the hospital is 4 days. Longer if you have a c-section or other complications. This, however, really only applies to those that are residents here or have the SSI card here. Foreigners that are paying out of pocket can actually opt to stay just one or two days- though it’s crucial to let them know well in advance that you are planning on staying a very short amount of time.

Different midwife for everything: I have a midwife that I see for my monthly check-ups. She is the one that monitors my weight and blood pressure, and writes me the prescriptions that I need for my lab work, vitamins, ultrasounds, etc. She is the one that I bring all of my lab/ultrasound results to. However, she is not the one that will deliver my baby. I also see a midwife that only does ultrasounds. That is her specialty. I have seen her twice now, and each time she gives me the results directly and tells me exactly what she sees as she’s looking. This is very different in the States, where the sonographer is not allowed to give you your results; the doctor must do it. So that was kind of nice. And then there is a midwife at the hospital- she is the one that will deliver my baby. Chances are, I will not meet her before D-Day.

A different midwife for everything.

Nothing is included: I have heard that it’s very important to bring your own things to the hospital; sanitary pads, baby items, everything. They don’t provide these things, or if they do they are limited (again, I haven’t actually had a baby here yet, so this one is just hearsay).

Cost: The cost of going to the midwife, having ultrasounds and blood work done is quite a bit cheaper here than back home. Like…Quite. A. Bit.

 It is €23 for each midwife visit (which is almost $29) and only €70 to have an ultrasound done (which is about $87). Those are significantly cheaper than back home. Granted, I never used a midwife back home. But I would assume it’s more expensive than $29. When I had my first ultrasound done for this pregnancy back in Texas, it cost me a whopping $280!!

These are just a few of the things I have noticed in my journey of preparing to have a baby in France. I’m not saying it’s good or bad, just different. It’s not what I’m used to, but really…what is these days?!

I am blessed to have a very healthy pregnancy and to be able to communicate with the different medical professionals that I have seen- even if just a little.

And ya know what, it’s super awkward and frustrating at times- but it’s not terrible. And I’m learning how to do things that are uncomfortable. I used to hate talking on the phone when I lived in the States. I think…if I went back home, I wouldn’t mind making phone calls anymore. I think I wouldn’t mind doing a lot of things now, because I’ve proven that I can make it through some pretty uncomfortable situations!

Thanks France!

Living in the Unknown

These past few months I have been living in such a way that I have no idea what’s going to happen next. I don’t mean that I don’t know what I’m making for dinner, or I don’t know what I want to do next week. I literally mean that I have no idea what is coming our way.

There is a scariness in not knowing what the future holds. I know that none of us really know what the future holds. This is true. We have no idea what tomorrow will actually bring. But we have a general idea. We have plans for tomorrow and next week and next month and even next year.

But this week…I have no clue what our lives will look like next week. We are in the middle of one of those crazy God moments. When everything is completely out of our control and we have to trust the Lord to lead us down one path or another. We know what we want to do. We’ve planned for what we want to do. And then when something big happens in life and you can no longer count on your plans, it gets a little scary.

We are in France right now, studying French for when we move to West Africa. It’s all been planned out. We will stay here for a year, then move to West Africa and begin our ministry there. We planned what we would bring here to France; things we would need immediately and things we would eventually need for Africa. We’ve planned for having a baby here in France, planned for what our lives will look like once the baby is born. We have plans for our toddlers, on teaching them French and living in various countries and cultures. We have plans for how we will communicate with our families and friends and supporters while we are so very far away. We have plans for how we will deal with homesickness and culture shock and loneliness while we are away. We have all of these plans that we have put in place for where we are at in life right now.

And suddenly we found ourselves uncertain of all of these plans we so carefully orchestrated. Suddenly we are at a cross roads of staying here or returning home. After nearly 4 months in France we now face the possibility that all of these plans we have made for our lives, for our kids’ lives, will suddenly be all for nothing.

Okay, it’s not all for nothing. Just because we don’t know what the future actually holds, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t plan for things. We should make plans. Sometimes our plans are God-ordained. He is behind them, guiding them, working them out. Sometimes they are just our own plans- things that we want to do. Nothing is wrong with that. And sometimes, the plans we make are God’s plans but then for reasons that we just don’t know, He changes things. Or redirects us for a time being.

One of the things I love about being in situations like this is that it’s all about God. We may have our wants and our desires, but ultimately what happens depends solely on God. It’s terribly scary, but there is also some peace in it. When everything is completely out of your control and you are trusting God to lead your very next step, the next step that will determine your very life direction, there is something so reassuring about that. If God is the one leading, you can’t mess it up. If it’s all in His hands and you are simply following His direction, there is something so peaceful and calming in that.

I hate these situations, but I also love them. We have found ourselves in these type of situations only a handful of times. It’s stressful just waiting and being uncertain of what next week will hold. But it’s also such a relief knowing that God is the one in control and you will clearly see Him moving and working and leading you. You will know for certain that this is what God wants you to do because it is all completely out of your control and manipulation.

Right now, we find ourselves living in this unknown. Uncertain if we will continue living in France for the next 8 months, or moving back home for a period of time. It’s so scary not knowing if we need to make plans for going home (finding a place to live, figuring out what we will do when we get there, getting all of our furniture and things from storage, etc etc) and starting to pack all of our suitcases here, or if we will continue on in France like we had originally planned. Scary, yet a sense of peace. Whatever happens in the next week or so will prove that God is leading us in that specific direction.

If you find yourselves living in the unknown, waiting on God to make the next move, find peace in that. I know that it can be stressful and overwhelming, and if you’re anything like me and need to make plans for the future it can be quite scary. But rest in the knowledge that it is the Lord leading you and trust that He has your best interest at heart- even if it doesn’t make sense to you at the time.

Making a Home out of a House that is not my Own

We move a lot. Since getting married, Phillip and I have moved 9 times to 3 different States and 1 move abroad. That’s 9 moves in 4 years! To say that we’ve never settled into our own home would be an understatement.

Since having kids we have moved 5 times. I remember moving a few times when we were little. It was exciting and fun to move to a different house, but it was also unsettling. You lose what’s familiar, you lose a bit of comfort for a bit.

I know that my kids have been itty bitty with our moves. Even our move abroad, our kids were only 1 and 2. But I have to believe that major life changes, even for such small kiddos, can be quite unsettling to a degree.

One of my goals in moving is to make the transition as easy as possible. On everyone. To have familiar things at our new place as soon as we get there. This can be quite the challenge when moving to a furnished house or apartment where you can’t really bring much of your own things. This has happened a few times in our moves; twice when moving in with family, when we moved to Texas and lived in a furnished house, and right now as we are living in student housing in France.

But you can always bring small things that are a reminder of ‘home’. By home, I don’t mean a specific location or house or building. I simply mean the place of comfort, security and safety for your family. With all the transitions of missionary life, or just moving around in general, it’s been necessary to cultivate a place of comfort and security wherever we are.

Here are some examples of what I have done and continue to do:

Kitchen items. I don’t know about you, but the kitchen has always been the place to be. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen throughout the day; making coffee, breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner. Currently our living room and kitchen are combined, so we spend an extra amount of time in the kitchen.

Whenever we move I make sure to bring along my favorite kitchen items. All of my spices and cute décor that I have accumulated over the years. Also, my most favorite coffee mug; the one Phil got me for my very first Mother’s Day! And baskets! I try to bring as many of my baskets as I can. I seriously love them and they are useful no matter where we move!

(My favorite salt/pepper shaker and spoon rest)

(I'm sure we can get spices here, but I brought along my 

favorite ones just in case!)

(These are just a few of the baskets I brought. 

So useful for so many things!

Note if you're moving abroad: Collapsible baskets are AMAZING!)

(Our cozy kitchen)

(Some of my favorite hand towels that someone sent to us)

(My most favorite coffee mug! Phillip got this for

 me for my very first Mother's Day!)

For the kids, I bring along their “lovey’s”- which are their favorite blankets and pacifiers. I also bring along some of their favorite toys.

(This is Pax's bed with some of his favorite blankets and bear)

Pax's room. And also the place the kids play in the most. 

It is soon to be Jaelyn's room also...after the new baby is born!)

(Changing table in Pax's room)

(Jaelyn's room. Although, it's soon to be the new baby's room)

(Reading nook in Jaelyn's room. Complete with some of her favorite blankets from home!)

(Jaelyn's absolute favorite pillow and blanket. Seriously...she will not go to bed without that blanket and needs it 

whenever she gets hurt or upset.)

I also bring our favorite pillows and blankets for our room. 

(My most favorite blanket! My aunt made it out of my old t-shirts; t-shirts that I have gotten from around the world. I absolutely LOVE this blanket and plan on taking it with me wherever we go!)

But more than simple items, I keep to our same routine and generally try to live in the same manner no matter where we are.

For example, our bedtime routine with the kids. It has been very consistent no matter where we have lived, with just a few minor adjustments depending on our situation. We typically do bath time right after dinner, then we get the kids into their jammies, read a few books, sing some of their favorite songs, pray, clean up our toys and into bed!

With moving to France though, we have had to adjust the whole bath time thing. We don’t have a bath tub here. For a few months we were using an infant tub to bathe the kids. Chaos ensued! It just became too much to try and bathe them every night and to bathe them together. So we changed up that part of our routine and bathed the kids separately on different days. But otherwise, everything pretty much stayed the same (we were able to find a small inflatable toddler tub. But it's also too small to bathe them both together, so we are sticking with our new routine for the time being).

(Infant tub for two toddlers? At least they get clean!)

(This toddler tub isn't really that much bigger, but it does allow for more water. And...it's usually just one kiddo in there at a time. This night they insisted on taking a bath together)

(Our only 3 piece bathroom. 

We have two bathrooms with a shower 

and a sink and one with just a toilet. 

Very interesting, France. Very interesting)

I think it’s very important to maintain consistency when moving around, especially with Littles. It takes away that element of surprise and anxiety that they may experience with a big change.

I would say keeping to the same routine is one of the biggest ways that I am able to make a house a home no matter where we are.

Having a “homey” environment is something I believe my kids and my husband need. I also need that. It’s so important to be able to come to a safe haven, a place with familiar things when everything else in the world just seems so chaotic.

Moving to another country where you don’t know the culture or the language can be very unsettling. But it makes it bearable and doable when you have your own home that you can retreat to at the end of the day.

Moving can be very difficult. Never settling down to one location isn’t easy. But there are ways to make it less hectic on the family, and that is what I strive to do for these people that have been entrusted to my care. No matter how many different places we live in and no matter where we end up, I will always do my best to make a house a home- even one that is not my own.

Things you NEVER imagined you'd say....

Ya know, there’s just some things in life that you don’t think you will ever say. And it’s not until you have children that you find yourself saying the most ridiculous things!

I’ve compiled a list of things that my husband and I have said…probably more than once since having kids. I’m certain that as the kids get older and do more ridiculous things, we’ll end up saying even more off-the-wall comments (feel free to add your own in the comments section!)

-       We don’t eat pennies!

-       Pee pee goes in the potty, not on the floor

-       Don’t put your feet on your brothers face

-       Chips don’t go in your ear.

-       No, don’t put chips in your brother’s ear.

-       Please don’t lick that off the floor.

-       Oh, no, don’t lick mommy’s shoe!

-       Don’t put that diaper in my coffee please

-       Put your tongue back in your mouth or your food will just fall right off of it

-       That is garbage. We don’t eat garbage.

-       Wait, where are her undies? She’s wearing a dress, how did we not notice this?!  Hey missy, we never leave the house without wearing our undies.

-       Please don’t step on the baby

-       If you lick the book again, story time is over

-       Are you giving him kisses, or are you sucking on his head?

-       Hands out of the toilet. Hey! Both of you, hands out of the toilet!

-       We cannot go outside until EVERYONE is wearing pants.

-       Don’t let your brother step in your bowl!

-       Don’t put your foot in your sister’s bowl!

-       Why are you licking that?! That’s disgusting. Do you even know what that is?!

-       Stop climbing the stove!

-       How did you get in that drawer? Please get out of there. No! Don’t close your brother in that drawer, he’s trying to get out.

-       Oh, umm…daddies don’t have milk. Only mommies with babies have milk….

-       If you’re going to tackle your sister, do it on the rug. That floor is entirely too hard!

-       We don’t eat chalk or rocks. As a matter of fact, we don’t eat anything that is not food!

-       If you don’t stop licking that rock, you’re not going to get to hold it anymore.

Apparently my kids lick a lot of things….

Once a Month DIY: Homemade Sweetened Condensed Milk

This simple recipe can be such a life saver. Typically most of the ingredients are probably already in your kitchen. And making it yourself can save you a ton of money!

I love the simplicity of making sweetened condensed milk because…well, we go through it a LOT! Every week we are making coffee creamer, and so we seem to go through this stuff quickly.

Here is what you will need:

-       1/3 Cup of Water

-       1 Cup of Powdered Milk

-       4 Tbls Butter

-       ¾ Sugar

-       ½ Vanilla Extract

Directions:

I always add the butter to the water and microwave until boiling (but I suppose you can do it over the stove too).

Then add the powdered milk and whisk until it thickens, slowly stir in the sugar and vanilla extract and continue to whisk until it’s a thick and creamy consistency.

Voila!

It’s THAT simple! And it can be stored in the refrigerator for up to a week (but I don’t think it’s ever lasted a whole week in the Kemp household)

Once a Month DIY: Hand Washing Cloth Diapers

Cloth Diapers. I used to be so disgusted with the thought of cloth diapers. But then slowly, ever so slowly, my opinion began to change.

My friends talked about all the money they were saving, I read up on the different kinds of cloth, I saw how cute a lot of the patterns can be. Soon I was starting to think about doing it myself.

Just before we moved to France I ended up getting a LOT of cloth diapers…for FREE! Forget the one-time expense of getting a startup stash which, let’s face it, can be a pretty penny! These were absolutely free. I have roughly 45 cloth diapers (pockets and pre-fold covers) plus tons and tons of inserts. I’m in cloth diaper heaven here!

My amazing (and free!) stash!

And with my stash pretty much complete, I decided that once we got to France I would indeed begin cloth diapering!

And much to my chagrin, I discovered that we had shared laundry facilities….that you need to pay to use. Which wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing, but I also knew that it was going to take us awhile to get a bank account, get some Euro’s out and get change for said laundry.

In the meantime, I still wanted to start cloth diapering! I was ridiculously excited and impatient to begin. I don’t know what had gotten into me. Maybe it was the cute designs? I’m not entirely sure. But I decided that I would figure out a way to do it without needing French money or coin laundry.

Thus began my hand washing adventure!

It’s actually not as disgusting or difficult as I first thought (and as most of you probably think). It’s pretty simple. I think the hardest part was prepping the brand new diapers that I had gotten. And that’s just because it took more effort since I had to wash/rinse multiple times.

Items I use:
- Tub to wash them in
- Plunger
- Detergent
- Drying rack/clothes line
- Cleaning agent for tub when finished washing

So here is how I hand wash my diapers:

I start by doing a cold rinse (because I'm not using a washer, I actually rinse out and semi wash out the poopy diapers before throwing them into the hanging diaper pail).

And I use my handy dandy plunger and plunge the diapers about 50 times.

Then I drain the water

 (I remove the diapers from the tub just to be sure all of the icky water gets out.)

I then add my detergent and do a hot wash (currently I'm not sure what I'm using. I just bought a detergent that I thought didn't include any perfumes or softeners or anything else. It's kind of difficult to know when you don't speak/read the language. Just sort of have to take your best guess.).

Soon though, I'm hoping to start making my own detergent so I know exactly what's in it!

And again, I plunge the diapers about 50 times. Sometimes I'm full of gusto and will do it more!

If they seem extra stinky or have been sitting for longer than 2 days, then I will let them sit a few minutes and then plunge them again another 50 times or so. Just want to make sure they are good and clean (and don't smell like pee!).

I then drain the icky water again and begin a cold rinse.

 I will again plunge about 50 times (it's a great way to develop those arm muscles!). 

Sometimes I will do a second rinse. It just depends on how sudsy the wash was to begin with and if the diapers still smell a little soapy. Better to do a second (or even third) rinse than having stinky/residue/leaky diapers!

I didn't post a picture, but after I'm done rinsing I get all of the water out of the diapers (sometimes I will roll the diapers up into a towel to get it even more dry before hanging them up).

Then I clean out the tub and sanitize it because it's actually what I currently have to bathe my toddlers in. And I don't want them to contaminate the diapers the dirty diapers to contaminate the children! Yuck!

And then I line dry them (the diapers, not the children)!

And voila! Cleaning cloth diapers by hand!

It's a lot of work, but it can be done. 

And it saves money, so I think it's worth it. For the time being anyway...until I'm too pregnant to be bending over an infant tub in a shower stall!

(Little guy likes to help....and by help I mean pull all of the clean diapers onto the floor so he can trample them and eat them).

I have since gotten an actual drying rack for the diapers (and other clothes I hand wash), so it makes drying a lot faster (because I can hang up more than 5 diapers and inserts at a time!).

We have also been able to open up a bank account here and have since been able to get money out. However, it's very expensive to wash clothes here. So even though we have the option to use coin laundry, I'm still opting to hand wash simply because it's a lot cheaper.


Any questions or comments or other ideas, please let me know in the comments section!

Green means Go, right?!

I’m just going to be honest. Today was not great. We went on an excruciatingly long walk. Right in the middle of the kid’s naptime. I thought for sure we’d be back before they needed to nap. But no, I was wrong.

We managed to lose our map after being gone over an hour.

And then there’s the embarrassing alarm incident.

We were in a grocery store and I was going to walk outside and wait for Phil. The kids were getting a bit loud, and if you’ve ever been to France you will see why that’s a problem. In America kids are loud. We try to quiet them, but they get even louder. It’s usually just expected. You may get sideways glances from young people without kids, or old crotchety folks, but for the most part you will just get sympathetic looks from people who know that raising little hellions isn’t always easy.

Well not so in France! Apparently there is something in the milk here that makes children behave ALL THE TIME in public. So for a child to start whining and yelling and carrying on, well…it’s a pretty big deal.

So I decided to take my rowdy duo outside.

I wondered about the door. It didn’t open automatically like all the other ones did. There was green writing on it. But I can’t read French. Naturally I assumed green writing meant it was safe to go through. After all, green means go, right?! So I pushed the door open.

Loud horrendous beeping!!! People gawking awkwardly. I knew my face turned a few shades of red. I could feel it. I looked sheepishly at the cashier standing there. He just shook his head no.

I said sorry. In English. I hadn’t yet learned the word in French. Why didn’t I learn the word in French?!

I turned and tried to nonchalantly walk out the correct exit with the alarm still blaring and people still looking at me like I was a giant blue rabbit pushing my litter of bunnies around in a buggy; not really sure what to make of it, but kind of puzzled by what was happening in front of them.

I walked outside, across the parking lot and to the side walk before the tears started flowing. Phil eventually followed suite (I didn’t even bother waiting for him. I just had to get out of there) and wanted to know why I was in such a foul mood.

I blubbered that I was going home. He seemed to still be puzzled and then I half yelled that I just got really embarrassed and wanted to go home! Ah, he finally got it! The alarm incident was ME!

Phillip has a way of turning sour situations into something much better. I’m not going to say that he is always a glass half full kinda guy, but when it comes to me he always tries looking on the bright side. Or at least helping me to see things from a different perspective. He doesn’t like when I’m upset or sad and always tries to make me laugh.

So the entire walk home he made jokes. Jokes about going through the wrong door. And every time he would say “too soon?” And it was too soon. At first. But by the time we got home, I could clearly see how comical the whole situation was, and I even stopped tearing up when I thought about how embarrassed I was.

I’m grateful for my husband who always has my back. I wouldn’t be able to do this without him. He is my rock and he is my biggest fan. He works so hard to take care of me and the kids and to show me how much he loves me. He goes out of his way to make me laugh and to be sure that I am happy. How did I get so lucky with such an amazing man?!

So while the day started out as not so great, it turned out to be a pretty okay day. And all of the credit goes to my love!

This Guy: The Best thing that has ever happened to me!

Yeah, we are that cute!!

The Hardest Part about This Whole Thing

For the past 2 years I have been blessed to stay home with my kids. It has become my life. I absolutely love it. Yes it gets challenging and frustrating, and there are times when I would like to be alone (or even just pee alone), or I feel like throwing a tantrum like my kids. But overall it is such a blessing to get to be the one to get my kids out of bed in the morning, take care of their needs and wants throughout the day and tuck them into bed at night.

Being a mom and staying home with my kids has always been something I’ve wanted to do. It’s my dream job. I wouldn’t want it any other way (on most days).

So naturally one of the hardest things for me on this endeavor to France to learn French is that I have to put my kids in the nursery. The culture shock is hard, missing people from back home is hard, the unfamiliarity of this country and not knowing the language yet is hard. But it doesn’t compare to how difficult it has been for me to drop my kids off with strangers in the morning and pick them back up in the evening.

I don’t know what they do all day. I don’t know what they eat. I don’t know how they nap, if they cry, or how they are feeling all day long.

What I do know is that someone else is taking care of them. I know that I miss them like crazy and I can’t stand not being the one to tend to their wants and their needs.

Indeed it is good that they are there, because it gives me the opportunity to learn French in an intensive classroom setting. I get hours a day to study and learn and practice. It’s useful and it’s beneficial. The kids are also getting acquainted with someone else taking care of them, learning some French, playing with other children. It’s all good. It’s all nice. But I still don’t like it one bit.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel though. And much sooner than a year from now when we are done with language school and making our way to West Africa. In January I am going to be having baby #3. And because of that, I have the option to stay home with the kids and hire a language tutor.

This is great news! And for more than my selfish reason of wanting to be the primary caretaker of my babies; Saving!

Not having to pay for 3 kids to be in the nursery is going to save us quite a bit of money. And we’ll be able to use that money to hire a great tutor (as well as save up for baby/children's expenses! Apparently children can get a bit pricey...especially the whole processes of delivering one!) that will help me continue to learn French well.

But in the meantime, I’m struggling just a little bit with missing my babies.

Once a Month DIY: Homemade Diaper Wipes

Today starts my brand new Once a Month DIY Projects. Now, I’ve never really been the type of person to do it myself. I much prefer someone else doing it for me, or just buying things that are ready for me. I have a patience problem. A commitment problem. An energy problem. Lots of problems. My biggest problem though is that I’m a dreamer. I will come up with awesome ideas and plans, I will buy the materials and be motivated to accomplish it…for about a day. And then reality hits. I have to do this? Oh jeese…that looks hard. I’d rather [insert any other activity here].

And then the materials sit. And then the guilt ensues. I wasted my money on that! Why did I buy that? I should have known I wasn’t going to do that.

But alas! Things are changing around here. The dreamer that I am is slowly…ever so slowly, turning into the doer. It’s probably because I’m really just out of alternatives at this point. I’ve got to get creative because I’m living in a place I’m not familiar with at all. Heck, I don’t even speak the language yet! It’s hard to find the things I want or need. It’s hard to do a lot of things.

And so, I’ve decided that once a month I will share my DIY projects.

"Projects" is a loose term. Some of them aren’t projects at all. More like….ways of doing things. So it’s not much, but it’s a start.

This first one is a project though!

Once a Month DIY: Homemade Diaper Wipes

Diaper wipes can get downright pricey! We seem to go through a lot. Our potty trained toddler uses them, our diapered toddler uses them. Sometimes the kids will sneak and just plain ol destroy them (Why? Why do they do that?!) so that they aren’t usable at all. Pricey.

So I got out my handy dandy google machine and learned how to make my own wipes.

Here’s the list of things we use:

-Roll of paper towels

-Baby Oil

-Water

-Baby soap (whatever kind you so desire)

-Sharp knife (to cut the paper towel roll in half)

-Container to put them in

It’s so simple it’s mind boggling. I also love that there is soap on them- it just seems to make cleaning up diaper messes so much easier!

Here what to do:

For half a roll of paper towels (that’s what fits into our container. Plus, it’s easier to have half a piece of paper towel than a whole one) I use:

·         1/2 cup of water

·         1-2 tbls of baby soap (I like mine a little more soapy because I feel like it cleans better)

·         1 tbls of baby oil

• Mix it all together.

• Put the entire half of the paper towel roll into your container (I often use a round tupperware container that fits it perfectly).

• Pour the water mixture over the paper towels and let it sit for about 10 minutes.

• Turn the paper towel roll over and let sit another 10 min.

• Remove the cardboard from the middle and pull up the paper towel from the center.

• Viola! Ready to use!

 

(This is the container that I regularly use)

What I LOVE about making my own is that I know what’s in them, they are softer, and I can use whatever scent I so desire.

When the kiddos are sick I like to use soothing vapor baby wash. I don’t know why. Maybe I believe it will help. And maybe it does help?! But it doesn’t matter. I get to choose!

Maybe someday I’ll be brave enough to use cloth diaper wipes. But for now….I’m sticking with my homemade paper towel ones!

You can put your homemade diaper wipes in a round tupperware container like I often use, in a plastic zip lock bag or an old wipes container (I also use an old wipes container. I just fold my paper towels accordion style until no more will fit into the container, and then I pour the mixture over it like that. Takes a bit longer that way, but then it makes it easier in the long run because they come out of the container quite easily).

Also, because there are no preservatives in the homemade ones, only make enough to last about a week or so (which half a roll usually does for me). The fresher, the better!!