When did I become a schedule person?!

Having kids changes a person. I mean really changes a person. The past year and half has brought forth a completely different me. A better me, I hope. But definitely different.

I used to be so impatient. Now I'm learning to wait and it's okay.

I used to be so selfish. Now I'm learning to share. I share my food at almost every meal, I share my hugs and my lap and most definitely my love and affection. I even share my colds, though I'm certain nobody appreciates that!

I used to lack discipline. Now I'm learning to prioritize and follow through.

I used to be very spontaneous. Now I thrive on a schedule.

This schedule thing has be befuddled. Who have I become?! I actually used to pride myself in how spontaneous and carefree I was. Let me share a few examples. I once quit my job just so that I could drive to Canada with my friend. I used to get in the car with a friend and we would flip a coin at every crossroad to determine which way we should go. Planning was not part of the fun. On a whim I've adopted multiple puppies, only later to realize that I just wasn't ready to take care of them. I've called off of work multiple times simply because my friends wanted to hang out and do something more fun (okay...that's more of the lack of discipline thing. And a terrible sense of responsibility).

Spontaneous and carefree. Could those words describe me now? I'm starting to think not. In my heart of hearts I truly want to be that person again. But I know that it's just not possible. Having two kids changes things. I thrive on a schedule. I desire it, I love it, I get excited over it. Who have I become?

But the truth is, having a schedule makes life so much easier. It didn't matter when I wasn't married and didn't have kids. I only needed to look out for numero uno. But now I have other lives that depend on me. And children thrive on routine. So I adapted. And I kind of like it.

The kiddos are on a great routine- and I can see how much better they are both doing since we've been on it. It was difficult being on a schedule before we moved to Texas because we were constantly traveling and doing presentations and meeting with people in order to raise support. We were rarely home for a week at a time. But now...now we get to settle. And the kids are really thriving!

Here is our schedule (because I'm seriously that excited about it):

Wake up between 6:30-7:30
Breakfast and play time
Nap time for Mr. Mellow from 9-10:00 am
More playing or a walk outside if it's nice
Lunch at 11:00 am
Nap for both kiddos from 12-2:00 p.m (sometimes longer if we're really lucky!)
Snack time for Miss Fits around 3:00 p.m.
More playing or we will go out somewhere (usually to the store to walk around)
Nap for Mr. Mellow from 4:30-5 p.m
Dinner at 5:30
Bath at 6:00 for Miss Fits, followed by bedtime at 6:30
Bath for Mr. Mellow at 6:30, followed by bedtime at 7:00
Quiet time!

It's consistent and it's amazing! But it's still so strange to me that I have become a schedule person!

And here are my favorite little people...I like to call them Rough and Tumble!

Crying it Out....on my terms

Once our amazing, calm, and great sleeping baby was almost 4 months old things drastically changed. He no longer slept for hours at night, and his nap time diminished greatly during the day. I was floored as to what happened to my little angel.
Having had a very difficult, colicky, and poor sleeping baby our first time around, I was convinced that he was going to end up like that. Somehow. Someway.

He continued to be the calm, cool and collective little guy that he had always been, but when it came to sleep he was a little terror. He woke at least once an hour, demanding to be fed, but really only wanting to nurse as a means of getting back to sleep. I happily obliged because I was so exhausted and it only took about 2 minutes to get him back to sleep.

After a month of this though, my body started to really wear out. I was completely exhausted. I was losing my patience with my toddler and my husband, and growing increasingly frustrated with nearly everything. I was sleep deprived and the whole family was suffering.

I knew that something needed to be done, but I didn't want to be inconsistent in what I was doing. With the holidays upon us, and with us packing up and moving across the country, I determined that it just wasn't smart to start any type of "sleep training" because I couldn't be as consistent as I needed to be.

Finally! We moved and were settled into our new place. The kids each had their own room, and for the first time since the little guy was born, he would not be sleeping 2 feet from me. I thought for sure him being in his own bed and in his own room would make night time easier. Wrong! Did it get worse? It sure seemed like it.
The first week in our new place was exhausting! Little Miss Fits was up in arms about...well, everything! The first day we got here she threw a fit because she could only get her shirt halfway off. Then when anyone would try to help her get it all the way off she would throw another fit. If someone offered to help her put it back on, another round of fits! She cried at every turn, threw herself to the ground out of frustration, and walked around whining like her life depended on it. Exhausting!

Something needed to be done! And the first step was getting the little guy to sleep. I just knew that if he could sleep better, we would all be better. Or at least, I knew that I would be better. And I think that a happy and restful mama is the key to having a happy family.

My minimal cry approach:

I am not a proponent for cry it out. I have read up on all of the different methods and strategies for getting your baby to sleep better/longer, and I know what I am comfortable with. Crying it out just isn't for me. At least not in the traditional sense.

I opted for the longer and longer method, with my own twist. The twist was simply that I never let him cry longer than 4 minutes before I went in there.

I braced myself for a LONG week of crying and very little sleep. I told my husband that it would only get worse before it got better and that I would need lots of grace because of how terrible it would be!

Night 1: I did the usual bedtime routine with the little guy; bath, jammies, nursing and night night. I laid him down awake, gave him his paci and said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and walked out of the room.
When he started crying I waited two minutes, went in and gave him his paci and said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and again walked out of the room.
Then I went in after 3 minutes of crying, then 4 minutes and then 4 minutes again. By that 4th time of going in he went to sleep.
He slept for 3 hours, woke up, ate and went back to sleep. Then he woke up again around 3am, and I determined that he probably wasn't hungry because it hadn't been 3 hours and we did the whole routine again. This time it only took me going in there twice. He slept until 5:30 am, ate and went back to sleep until 630. This, my friends was a HUGE success!

Night 2: I was once again prepared for a battle. We did our nightly routine, and I laid him down awake. He cried for 2 minutes, I went in, gave him his paci and said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and left the room. He went right to sleep!
Woke up at 9:15 and went back to sleep after a total of 2 minutes.
Woke at 11 pm, ate and went back to sleep immediately.
Woke again at 1:30, I changed his diaper and gave him gas drops because he was farting like a grown man and fussing like his tummy hurt. Cried for a total of 8 minutes. Just as he was almost asleep, I fed him (my theory was that I didn't want to reward him with nursing after he had been crying. *shrugs* I'm new at this).
Up again at 5:30, ate and back to sleep until almost 8 am!

Night 3: I had read the third night is usually much easier. And so, since my first two nights were quite easy, I was certain that this night would be ridiculously hard. And to make matters even worse (I thought), the little guy had gotten sick.
Again, I did our usual bedtime routine and again laid him down while he was still awake. He cried for about 30 seconds and I decided to just quickly go in and give him his paci (why wait the full 2 minutes if that's all he needed?!). I said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and left the room. He didn't fall right to sleep, just laid there looking around (Oh...I have a video monitor, by the way. Something I would absolutely recommend to everyone!), and in a couple of minutes he drifted off to sleep.
He woke up at 1:00 a.m, we did a quick diaper change and I fed him. He fell right back to sleep. Up again at 4, nursed him and he went right back to sleep and slept until 7:10.

Night 4: Again....bedtime routine. I put him down awake and he went to sleep after a total of 6 minutes of crying (this time I just did every 2 minutes, so I went in there 3 times before he went to sleep). He woke up at 9 pm, and because he didn't nurse very well at bedtime, I went ahead and fed him then. Up again at 11 for a diaper change and then the kid slept until 5:30 a.m!! I couldn't believe it!

Naps are going much better too. I know I haven't written about nap time, but I do the same thing- put him down awake and allow him to fall asleep on his own. I have not had one problem since beginning this new way of getting him to go to sleep. Naps are easier and longer, and bedtime has become something to look forward to, not something that I dread. AND...I am a much happier wife and mom because I am getting sleep too!

So, overall I really like this method. I have never been a proponent of cry it out, but I feel like this is a happy/healthy middle ground. If you're like me, then getting to the end of your rope in lack of sleep may push you to do things you wouldn't have done otherwise. I'm glad that I tried this approach-even though I tweaked it to my own liking-because the little guy is doing so much better!

Look how happy he is!

Our Cross-country Move

Well we did it! The day finally came for us, and we moved from our snowed in apartment in Illinois to the warm and bristly Texas. I say bristly because...well, everything seems to be rough and thorny and almost dead. Phil's says it's because it's winter. I think it's just Texas. We shall see...

It was uncertain if we'd even be able to move or not. The weekend before our scheduled departure we were bombarded with a massive snow storm. The roads were literally shut down. The whole area was declared to be in a "state of emergency", and only emergency vehicles were permitted to be on the roads. Even if we tried to go out (which we...uh...did), there were massive piles of snow on the roadways and it was impossible to leave our ridiculously small town.

We were scheduled to pick up the U-haul on Sunday. Unfortunately all of our plans had to be cancelled for that day- even our plans to say goodbye to our dear friends. Monday was much of the same. Tuesday it seemed like things were clearing up a bit- we were no longer in a state of emergency and could drive on the roads. The ones that were cleared off anyway. So we made our way out into town that evening, got the U-haul trailer and loaded up the things that needed to go into storage. Phil....bless his heart, drove the 45 minutes, unloaded the trailer by himself, and got back around midnight.

We got up early the next morning and preceded to load our lives into the tiny trailer. It was a difficult task; we had zero help, had a fussy baby and a sick toddler. Not to mention the below zero temperatures and the 3 inch thick ice on our bottom 4 steps. It was miserable!

Unfortunately we were not quite finished loading the trailer and cleaning when the landlord came over to do his walk-through. But what a huge surprise! Because he came with cash in hand and gave us back our deposit anyway! He said we were by far is best tenants and he appreciated having us living in one of his apartments. Then he told us horror stories about some of the other tenants he has.

We finished cleaning and loading, and waited for my mom to come over. After all, she was helping us drive down to Texas!

By 7pm we were ready to hit the road! We drove for 3 hours and stopped to pick up my brother- who also happened to be helping us drive down (we took 2 vehicles).

All in all, the trip wasn't terrible. The kids...well they did great for having to be in the vehicle for 20 hours. We were blessed in that we had a portable dvd player to entertain Jaelyn, and even Phillip from time to time! The poor girl was sick and miserable, but she was a real trooper. The little guy wasn't too bad either, though he seriously hated being in his carseat.

Overall, I would opt to NOT drive across the country with 2 under 2 again. Someone else can drive our U-haul, but me...I'm flying!