Broken

Today this song made me cry. Of course, I had already been crying. But hearing these words just brought more tears to my eyes.
Sometimes I feel silly and ridiculous for still being sad about the miscarriage. I feel that sting of pain when I remember the loss, and I feel silly that I'm not completely over it. Last night I felt so lonely and so overwhelmed with grief and sadness. I desperately long for what I have lost. And I pray that God will take away this pain in my heart.
For a while I was okay. Or so I thought I was. I guess I just wasn't letting myself think about it. But all of a sudden, the sadness and grief came welling up from seemingly out of nowhere.

I'm falling apart

I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart

That's still beating

I'm trying to wrap my mind around this, like I'm sure all women who experience this are. I know I'm certainly not the only one going through this. But today it seems like I'm alone. I feel empty. I feel sad.

God where are you right now? I can't see your hand in this. I can't understand why you would allow this. What good can possibly come from this heartache and this loss? Please answer me! Please heal me!

In the pain

There is healing

In your name

I find meaning