I'm still struggling with remaining content in what I'm doing and where I'm living. I would give anything to be able to just up and move. And sometimes I think that if I weren't in a serious relationship I would do just that. But I can't possibly leave now- that would just be silly.
I just feel that I am losing or forgetting the passions and desires that were once so strong. And I'm worried that I'm going to simply settle for a mediocre job and living in a place that I don't like. Part of me feels that if I don't do what I really love now that I will never get around to doing it.
I guess that's why I'm so frustrated lately and why I've been searching non-stop online for different jobs or different things to go to school for. I just want to figure out what to do before it's too late and I'm stuck doing what I hate.
And it's not even that my life is so terrible or my job that unbearable. I can tolerate my job, it's not that bad. It's just so boring and I definitely can't see myself doing that long-term. I dread going in for several reasons; there's not a lot to do there in the middle of the night, it's extremely difficult to see the mind's of these mostly healthy elderly people deteriorate so terribly, and ... well, it's just not something that I'm passionate about at all.
Lately I've just been feeling so blah. I don't even know how to describe it. "Blah" is the only thing that I could come up with. I just feel like I'm not doing anything with my life, nothing that really matters or means anything. Nothing that I even want to do.
I'm working at an assisted living facility in Bloomington. It's not a bad job, and it pays pretty decent. But that's not at all what I want to do. I haven't gotten the job at Contact Ministries yet. The position was through AmeriCorp and they wanted me to work full time. But since I already work nights in Bloomington, that just wouldn't be possible. But I guess they are trying to figure out a way that I can work part time. I don't know... I was confused by what was going on and all the emails back and forth.Communication between me, AmeriCorp and Contact hasn't been one of our strong points. So we'll see what happens.
I feel like I am just stuck in some kind of rut. I'm not at all looking forward to this summer. I will just be working two jobs and living in Lincoln. This may come as a surprise to some people, but Lincoln isn't all that exciting. I wish I had the money to go on a Mission trip. I'd love to go back to Kenya or Peru. Or wherever. Any place but here.
I suppose I'll just have to make the best of the situation I'm in. I am working and making money. So maybe I'll be able to save up enough to go on a Mission trip in several months. In the meantime... who knows what.
Friday was officially the last day of my internship! I am completely done with everything. Graduation is the next step!
My last few days there were pretty fun. Mostly because I hung out with Bonnie a lot. She is the lady that I had mentioned in a previous blog. Working with her this semester has been quite the experience. It's been fun and enjoyable, and it's also been kind of scary because you just never know what might set her off. Schizophrenia is a weird thing. But the last few days of my internship were pretty good with Bonnie. One day we were sitting on the porch just talking. I happened to have my camera with me and we decided to take some silly pictures together. It was probably the best time I had had all semester. It was just so joyful sitting there and laughing with Bonnie. I will continue to pray fo
r her. It's sad to think that she might end up leaving the Mission and going back to her lifestyle of betrayal and abuse. I pray that she will rema
in there and get the help that she so desperately needs.
Here are a few of our pictures...
I have also been blessed with a job already, possible two. Soon I will be starting work at Contact Ministries. Previously I wrote about my experience there during one week of my internship. It was a great experience and I absolutely loved working with those ladies there. It's only a temporary position at first, but there's always the possibility of moving up on the ladder.
I also may be working at a Nursing Home in Bloomington. I have my CNA license and I think it would be a great idea to utilize that, mainly because the pay is pretty good.
But that's about it. Hopefully everything works out just dandy.
This is it. My last week as an intern. I couldn't be more excited about being done. Mainly because this is the last hurtle before I graduate. I'm also excited about being done because... well quite frankly this hasn't been an easy semester. The internship itself hasn't really been hard and it hasn't really even been challenging. I just how up and do what needs to be done, no big deal. It's really everything else going on in my life right now that has made this semester so difficult for me.
The truth of the matter is, I have been really hurt. And because of that, I have just sort of shut down all semester long. I just kind of tucked my emotions away and pretended that everything was okay. On the outside all has appeared neat and calm and okay. But on the inside... everything is in chaos and turmoil. I'm broken. I took out my inward frustrations and hurts on this internship. I blamed the internship for the way that I was feeling. I thought that it was just being here that made me feel the way that I did. I thought that maybe if I were in Africa still everything would be better. But the truth is that everything wouldn't be better. It would be different, yeah. I wouldn't have to face the realities of what's going on around me, I wouldn't have to be in the middle of it and see the hurt and heartache. At least right now anyway. But if I were in Africa still, I would be coming home in a few days and then I would have to face it all.
Anyway, all of this is just to say that my internship is over in 4 more days and I feel like I haven't grown any. I feel like I've been set back and that I'm more lost and broken than when I first began. I thought these experiences were supposed to make us grow?
Moving On...
Graduation is in 2 short weeks! I'm excited, but I'm also getting a little nervous because I have no idea what I'm going to do now that school is done. I haven't been able to find a job yet. And quite frankly, I'm beginning to get desperate enough to take the first thing that's hiring.
On a more exciting note... my Roommate from college is coming back from Thailand tomorrow and we will be living together once again! I'm so stoked... I about can't stand it.
Today I was working at the Bread Line. It's a soup kitchen that serves two meals a day, and today I worked there for both of those meals. It was quite the experience.
For starters, this somewhat creepy and very old guy started blowing kisses at me through the window before he ever even got into the building. I just shook my head no and continued on with what I was doing. When he finally got into the building, he made his way over to me and proceeded to explain to me that he wasn't going to bother me. Well okay then. But through the duration of his meal he continued to stare at me. This other gentlemen, who informed me that he was 30 years old, tried everything in the book to get my phone number. When I explained to him that I had a boyfriend, he asked how long we had been dating, if I really loved him and if he loved me. He then told me that he wanted to try and break us up. Unfortunately for me, this guy stuck around for about an hour trying to get my number. I must say that I don't think I have ever felt more awkward and uncomfortable while doing volunteer work. I didn't mind the work so much, but I just felt self-conscious and very uncomfortable as these grown men stared at me and said very inappropriate things to me. And, to top it all off... this lady in an electric wheelchair ran right over me! Not only did she run over me, but she did so while I was trying to get HER some food. :) It was quite comical. Very painful, but pretty funny too. I'm still not entirely sure why she ran over me.
The somewhat creepy and very old guy returned again for the second meal. He stared at me the entire time again- and again told me that he wasn't going to bother me.
This past weekend I got to see the lady I stayed with while I was in Kenya. Her name is Mary. She was in Indianapolis speaking at a church about what's going on in Mathare. I was so excited to see her. Heather, who also went to Kenya last summer, and I drove there Saturday for the service. We thought we were on time, but turns out there was a time change. So we were actually half an hour late. But it worked out to our benefit. When we walked in the church we saw a guy that we went to college with- who happens to work there. We told him why we were there and then he asked us if we wanted to go backstage and see Mary. Of course we said yes. So he took us back where she was. As soon as we walked in, she just stared at us. Then immediately got up and her eyes starting watering. I didn't know that she had no idea we were coming. We totally surprised her. Oh my gosh... seeing Mary again brought back a flood of memories and emotions. We just kept hugging each other. She couldn't believe I was there. She said "Oh Sarah...". And a little bit later she said "You made it back." I never got her email address, so she hasn't heard from me since I left Kenya so suddenly that night back in January. It was a glorious reunion indeed.
Some days, like Saturday, I just wish so badly that I had never left Kenya.
This week I have been working at the Central Illinois Food Bank. Originally I started off stocking the shelves with the various items that are donated to them. But the warehouse was so cold, and one of the ladies said that I could work in the office with her instead. Of course I agreed… anything to get out of the cold. So I have just been doing odd jobs for her. Mostly tedious tasks like filing, creating spreadsheets and logging it onto the computer, uploading the donation receipts onto the computer, stuffing envelopes… that sort of thing. I actually didn’t mind the work. It was very tedious and time consuming, but I realized that the work desperately needed to get done and they were very appreciative of my time there. Plus, the lady that I worked with was quite funny to be around, and she even gave me some really helpful information about different organizations in the area that I might be able to get a job at. I was so thankful for her help! Today at the Food Bank I had the opportunity to go with to participate in the hunger study. I guess they go out to the different shelters, soup kitchens and food pantries and conduct surveys with some of the people that use those services. I was able to interview some of the people, which was quite the experience. The people were very candid about their answers (the majority of them anyway), and had no qualms about explaining their living situations. I was actually pretty disheartened by many of the answers as I realized the magnitude of this problem. While there may not be a ton of people that are necessarily homeless, the sad reality is that there are so many people (in the Springfield area alone) that struggle to feed and clothe themselves and their children. It was sad sitting there, listening to the answers of some of these questions. ‘Do you ever have to choose between paying for food and paying for rent?’ ‘Do you ever have to skip a meal because you don’t have money for food?’ Do your children ever have to skip a meal because you don’t have money for food?’. It’s heartbreaking to hear them answer yes to these questions and so many more like it. I guess the saddest part of the whole thing is that people’s stereotypes of who the homeless/poor are is way off. While there are some people that become homeless because of their drug/alcohol addictions, the truth of the matter is that many people become homeless because of situations out of their control- they lose their job do to an injury, layoffs, or the company closing down and they are unable to find work some place else/Those that are poor are not poor because they are just lazy and don’t want to get a job. They may have suddenly lost a job, become ill, had a relative die and have to take care of their child(ren), etc. There are many circumstances that cause people to become homeless/poor- usually situations that are out of their control and hard to get out of. But it was also encouraging to know that there are different organizations and agencies that will come along side these families and offer their services for free. But still, it doesn’t seem like enough. How are handouts going to break the cycle of poverty?
These past few months have had their many ups and downs. It has been a very trying and often discouraging experience, but it has also been pretty life changing in a few areas. I have a better idea of what I want to do when I graduate (which is only a month away!), which involves doing some type of community outreach with the homeless. I have been given the opportunity to have a wide range of experience working with the homeless in Springfield. I really had no idea that there were so many homeless in this area or that there were so many organizations offering their services. Plus, just getting to know the different people I have been working with has been great.
This week I have been working at Contact Ministries, which is another homeless outreach organization. This experience was much different from working at the Mission because Contact typically deals with the street homeless, whereas Inner City Mission mostly just caters to those living in the shelter. Contact also has a shelter for women with children, but when I was there I just worked downstairs with the people that came in off the street. A typical day involves giving food vouchers for the people to take to local food pantries, getting clothes and other items (household items, personal hygiene kits, etc) for those that need it and that sort of thing. I helped sort the clothes in basement (these clothes are then given to the residents in the shelter and the people in the community as they are needed). Twice a week a doctor comes in and will offer free services to those that are homeless. There are many more things that Contact Ministries does, but I didn’t really help out in any of those areas.
Working at Contact was an awesome experience. It helped me to see a totally different perspective on ministering to people- I just loved being there. And quite honestly, I didn’t want to leave. It just rekindled my passion for doing homeless ministry and having some type of outreach program for the community. I love this type of work and I’m praying that I can found a job where I can do this all the time.
I guess one of the other reasons that I really loved working at Contact was because I felt like I was actually needed. Or useful. I was busy pretty much all day long- constantly running around and doing stuff or getting things. The women I worked with were really fun to be around and I just felt like I was a part of what they were doing. They didn’t make me feel like I was in the way or that I was bothering them by asking so many questions. I just felt appreciated.
This week I will be working at the Food Bank. I’m really not sure what I’ll be doing there. When I went there a few weeks ago it really just seemed like there was a lot of stocking foods and stuff going on- but not much else. Of course, I only saw a brief part of it. So hopefully I’ll actually be doing something.
So, I’ve had a few emails from people that they can’t leave me comments on here. Sorry about that. I forgot to change my settings to allow those that don’t have a username to be able to comment. Just comment as name/url and type your name. Let me know if it works.
Since being here, I've learned how true it is that laughter is the best medicine. Because without laughter, I think lives would fall apart. I think people would be so overcome by the grief in their lives and the lives they see all around them that they would literally just fall apart. The staff and the residents have also learned this lesson. I think that sometimes we frighten visitors that come in because we seem to always be laughing and cracking jokes- where most people think that it is out of place and we should be a little bit more serious and a little bit more somber at a homeless shelter. But the truth of the matter is- half the time we have to laugh to keep from crying. The amount of pain and heartache and brokenness that come through these doors is almost unbearable at times. And I think that God has given us laughter to begin the healing process. As I mentioned a while ago, I get to do case management with two of the ladies that live here. Basically I just meet one-on-one with them each week, check up on how they are doing and help them out if they are in need of anything. What I didn't mention is that one of the ladies suffers from Schizophrenia. Her story is sad and terrible- the life she has endured seems to come straight out of a horror story. The sheer amount of torture, abuse and betrayal that she has gone through has damaged her mind so badly that she is a grown woman with the mindset of a 6 year old- a very paranoid woman that is in desperate need of help. I love this lady. I think she may be the funniest person I have ever met. I enjoy spending time with her, getting to know her and laughing uncontrollably with her (like when she had her shirt on inside out at the doctors office and we desperately scrambled to get it the right way before the doctor opened the door. We were almost rolling on the floor in laughter). But I also stress over her- she has a serious condition and it is evident in the way she behaves and thinks sometimes. She's certain people are after her- that's why she won't allow anyone to take her picture. She believes that different things are wrong with her (for example, she has bugs in her eyes) and doesn't believe anyone (including doctors) that there is nothing there. She sees and talks to this particular man- who the staff have come to understand is Satan. According to her, this man loves her. But he also (from what I've gathered) wants to harm others in her life. Getting the details from her are a little vague- it's hard to understand most of the time. She has been to the Mission about 3 or 4 times now- the staff that have been here are very familiar with her. She stays for awhile- saves up her money- and then gets paranoid that the staff are stealing her money. Then she gets all heated up, demands to get the money that is in savings and leaves. Sadly she usually winds up in the hands of someone who is simply using her for the money that she has saved- another abusive relationship, another round of torment. After awhile she makes her way back here again, usually having been off her meds for quite awhile. It's a sad cycle that she just can't seem to break free of.
But this is the lady I work with. And since meeting her, I just have so many questions. Questions for God- because I have no idea why all of this has happened. I just don't understand why or how she can be so tormented by Satan (who she can see and talk to) when she believes in God and Jesus.
It's hard facing the realities of life- realities that pose questions that sometimes you just shrug your shoulders and say "I have no idea." The reality of coming face to face with a situation that is so far out of your league- "they didn't teach me that in Bible College". It's a challenge, but it's also a growing experience. I'm just still trying to figure out how I'm growing from this situation.
Learning lessons is rather difficult. At least it is for me. I thought for sure that I wasn't learning anything here- that I was just completing hours for my internship and that there was no other point. Half the time I feel useless here and wonder what the heck I'm even here for. Sometimes I wonder why I ever even left Kenya- I want so badly to just go back. But here I am. And it's here that I know God is trying to teach me something. But sometimes I just focus so much on my frustrations and my iniquities that I fail to see the bigger picture. I cry out to God, wondering what my purpose is and where I fit in all of this. Do I even fit?
And my answer came in a surprising way- well, surprising for me anyway. For my internship here I have to do this Beth Moore bible study. It's the "Breaking Free" one. I must admit that I was less than thrilled to be doing it. I was frustrated that I even had to. But nonetheless, I did it (am doing it). And I am learning a great deal about finding peace and contentment. I don't know what it is, but I just have no contentment in what I'm doing. I want to do more meaningful things, I want to do something that I feel matters. And I suppose that's where my problem lies. It's not about me and it's not about what I'm doing or what I'm not doing. At least it shouldn't be. And I shouldn't make it be about me. God promises to give us his peace in all things and in all circumstances (2 Thes. 3:16) - and that includes being on an internship where I feel less than useful at times. God desires for us to have peace, no matter what our circumstances. But I must believe it, I must be willing to get down on my knees and cry out to him, and I must be willing to receive it.
I have to stop feeling sorry for myself- stop wishing that I were in Africa. Because the painful truth is that I would probably feel the same way no matter where I was. Mission trips, internships, jobs, whatever... it's not about me and what I can accomplish. It's about God and what he can accomplish through me and through other willing people. I need to find joy in the tasks that I do, no matter what they are. It's a struggle, but I am learning to find peace and joy where I am right now. Please pray with me about this. It's not an easy struggle- and I must admit that I keep failing at it. If anyone has any suggestions that might be helpful, by all means, send them my way.
Also... I'll be sending an update via snail mail. But it's nothing new compared to what I've been writing on here. It's just an update letting those that don't have internet know that I am back. Yes... a little late in coming, seeing as I've been back since the end of January, but at least I'm sending it out.
Okay, so I only made that my title because Jessica’s title was “I’m Allergic to Thailand” and I kinda wanted to be like her.Go here- http://j-reeves.blogspot.com/ -to check it out
I’m not actually allergic to Springfield. But I think that I may be allergic to the cat that my roommate got.
About my internship:
I think it’s strange that it’s already March and I’ve been here for over a month. Sometimes it still feels like I just got back from Africa not that long ago. I still think about it all the time and wonder how everyone is doing. I still pray for the mothers and children that we visited- praying that God will bless them and continue to provide for the many needs that they have. And I still pray about the people that work in the different Centers- that God will strengthen them and give them the ability to continue to working with these people that are so very poor. It’s so taxing emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, mentally and even physically.
But I’ve been here for many weeks now and I’ve really gotten to know the people I work with everyday. Their life stories are some of the craziest I have ever heard- so unreal at times. Many of the people living here have had such a hard life- circumstance after circumstance with no seemingly no relief in sight. But then they found themselves here. I’ve heard some of the residents talk about this place as a Safe House. One of them said to me “I’m not homeless and I’m not living in a homeless shelter. This is a safe house and these people are my family.”
It’s so neat to see these many different families living together under one roof, and not simply tolerating one another, but growing to genuinely love one another. Obviously with so many people living under one roof there are bound to be fights and quarrels. But it’s so cool to see how the residents fight and quarrel like siblings- but also love and respect each other like siblings. This place is a home. And these people are family.
Some pics from the Mission:
Me and Madison
Some of the kids making a mess... I mean making cookies
Church at the Mission
The whole gang (residents and one of the groups that came for the weekend)
Some personal stuff:
Sometimes I feel like I really don’t do anything, and I’m really struggling with trying to find my niche. In all honesty (and that’s what this blog is supposed to be about) I sometimes wish I were back in Kenya. I just felt like I was getting something accomplished- I felt a little more useful. I was learning a great deal, like the language and the culture and different aspects of doing ministry in the Mathare Slums. I was learning about the operations of the different departments within the organization, like CHE, Health (HIV/AIDS), Social Work, Teaching, Business, etc. Everything was so different and new and I felt like I was just learning so much every day. But here… well, it’s home. And while it may be easier in that aspect because everything is so familiar, it is harder because I just feel so useless at times. Like being here doesn’t mean anything except for getting my internship hours so I can graduate. But there has to be something more than that… right?
Iknow that everyone already knows where I am, but I’ve just recently figured out what it is that I will be doing. Because I just jumped right into this internship, it has taken several weeks to mesh out all the details of what I’ll actually be doing. So… here it is:
*On Tuesdays and Fridays I will be answering the phones and doing office work.
*I will fill in as lodge supervisor as needed
*I will be the case manager for 2 ladies living here
*I am also going to start mentoring two of the older girls living here
*And because I am the new intern, I will do whatever else needs to be done
Oh, and fyi, I started drinking coffee again. Life is just altogether too stressful and tiring to not drink coffee anymore. According to some of the little girls here at the Mission “coffee makes you short.” But, I figure I’m already short, so it doesn’t really matter.
In case anyone would like to send me some snail mail- my new address is:
1003 ½ South 8th Street
Springfield IL 62703
Here are a few pictures from where I now am:
Inner City Mission
The Office... where I spend countless hours
In the kitchen- about to eat dinner
Just a few of the kids- waiting to eat
Two of the girls living here
Mystery and some of the girls were listening to music videos
I have been working at the Mission for a little over a week now. At first, I was really bummed out about being there. I just felt like I wasn't doing anything- like there was no point in me being there. I would just sit around the office, not doing much of anything. I guess I was just observing or whatever. But I just felt so useless. I didn't do a lot while I was in Kenya, but I felt like I was getting more accomplished there than I was here. We did home visits, I met with people, got to know people, I was learning the language... there just seemed to be so much going on. And then I get here, and all I'm doing is sitting in the office. It was really frustrating the first couple of days. But, the longer I've been there, the better it has gotten. I really love the people I'm working with. They make the place a great place to be. And while there is a lot of drama going on with all the people that live in the house, the staff really make it a great environment to live in. So, this shelter can house up to 13 families and, as of right now, there are no empty rooms. Apparently it is always full. As soon as one family moves out, another one moves right in. I think there are like 15 kids living there at the moment. And someone told me that that's actually not very many kids. I guess there are normally between 20-30 kids in the house at any given time. YIKES! That's a lot of children running around- a lot of mouths to feed- and a lot of little voices yelling and screaming. But it's entertaining.
So, I was watching some of the older girls (about 11-13) and noticed that they really just seemed to get lost in the shuffle of the all the drama of their parents and the obnoxiousness of the younger kids. And I was just thinking about how they need a getaway. They needed someplace where they could just get away, maybe one day a week or something- where they could just have some alone time, some girl time, a chance to relax or vent or whatever. So I've been praying about starting a girls small group- where we could just hang out, that sort of thing. I was going to talk to Becky (my field mentor) about it, but before I could one of the other guys that works there asked me if I'd be interested in the mentoring program. Apparently he saw the same need a while back with some of the older boys in the shelter and he started this mentoring program to get some of the older staff members involved with hanging out with some of the kids- just meeting with them like once a week, taking them out for ice cream, to see a movie, or just chatting, whatever really. And I told him that I had actually been thinking and praying about that very thing. So... that's totally awesome! I can't wait to start doing that, I think it'll be really fun. Well, that's all the news for now. I'll try and take some pictures so everyone can see the place and the people that live there.
As most you know already, I am no longer in Kenya. Through a series of somewhat unfortunate events, I am now continuing my internship at the Inner City Mission in Springfield IL. This works out well, because I will be working with the homeless and really utilizing my degree in Community Development. I'm very excited about this opportunity and I can definitely see God working through these circumstances. I am living with my dear friend, Heather Crocker, in Springfield. And it is only a couple of blocks from the Mission. So that is an added bonus. Thank you all so much for your prayers and your support. They have been greatly needed and I know that God has been answering these prayers. I will continue to update this blog, although it will be a lot easier to communicate with everyone now :)
Visiting the people in their homes is quite an experience. Half the time I don't understand what is being said, so I simply observe what's going on and what is around me. I really wish I had some pictures of what these people call home. The pictures wouldn't do it justice, but maybe you would get a tiny understanding of just how poor these people are living. They live in tiny tin shacks, where the walls are covered with almost anything: newspapers, blankets, sheets, plastic bags, etc. Whatever can be used is used. There is usually a bed, maybe two, a couch, some chairs, a table, some old clothes, a few dishes... the barest of bare. And usually families of about 5 or more live here. And the saddest thing that I learned is that these people are paying rent to live there. These slums, where people are struggling to survive and living in the worst possible conditions, have to pay to live this way. It's outrageous. It's a tragedy. And it breaks my heart. These are the observations that I have made. And they will forever be with me. On one home visit, I wassitting there listening to the social worker talk to this mother, when I kept hearing this clucking sound. And it sounded so close, but I couldn't figure out where it was coming from. And then I looked down... and nearly screamed. There was a chicken under the table, right there by my feet. I thought for sure it was going to start pecking at my legs. And it struck me as so funny, because no one was even paying any attention. Did nobody notice that there was a chicken in this house... and under the table?! Anyway, there's a fun, light-hearted story to go along with all the sadness. And that's the way it is. We have to laugh, we have to be joyous in times when there is such great sorrow. Otherwise, how do we cope. I love this Valley. And I love these people! And, I suppose, I even love that they have chickens under their tables!
This week has been a very long week. I can’t believe I’ve only been here for 7 days now. It feels like I’ve been here for a month already. I have learned so much in these past few days. I think I have learned at least 5 new phrases in Swahili each day. I’ve seen the ministry here and it’s amazing. This week I have been working with CHE and we have been doing home visits, meeting with the CHE committees in different villages, and also going to the different Centers to observe what is going on there. It has been great work, and it has been very tiring and emotionally draining.
A few days ago we went to visit this mother of two in a village called Kosovo. Her oldest son, Simon, has some major disabilities and we went to her house to encourage her and to pray with her. Simon has gone blind, he cannot walk, the left side of his body is almost completely paralyzed, and he has a very hard time talking- it’s very difficult to understand him. The saddest part about the whole situation is that just a year ago Simon was a normal boy, playing with is friends, going to school, and doing the things that normal children can do. Simon got sick with meningitis a year ago, and because his family is so poor, he was never able to get proper medical care. All of his problems could have been avoided if only his mother had the money. But now she must watch as her son deteriorates day by day, knowing that something could have been done for him, but she was unable to provide.
As we went into the tiny shack, Simon was sitting on his mother’s lap. We started talking with her, just trying to encourage her, when all of a sudden Simon started talking. Of course, it was very difficult to understand him. But he said that he wanted to pray for us, and he told us to bow our heads. After he was finished praying, he lifted up his voice and began singing a worship song to God. It was one of the most powerful and humbling experiences I have ever witnessed. This 8 year old boy who understands that his body is falling apart more and more each day, was praising our God. Simon had the whole room in tears. Here we had come to offer our words of encouragement, and little Simon was the one encouraging us.
I wish that I would have gotten a picture of this amazing little boy, his mother, and their terrible living conditions. Everyone ought to know how this family- and all of the families in the Mathare Slums are living. After leaving Simon and his mother that afternoon, I asked the CHE workers if anything could be done for Simon now—if he were taken to the doctor right now, is there anything that could be done for him. And they told me yes. He might never ever get his sight back again, but if he were taken to a good doctor, he would definitely lead a normal life. And the sad reality is that he will never lead a normal life because he is too poor to get the proper care that he needs.
Simon’s story is not uncommon. In fact, I visited countless homes where the disabled children could all become healthy again if only they were given medical attention. But they are all too poor. It is a crisis. And it is so devastating to watch.
Being here in Nairobi and working among these people is very trying. I love them and I want to offer all that I can to them, but what I have is so little compared to the great need that is here.
But there is hope. The ministry going on here is so big and it reaches throughout all of the MathareValley. People’s lives are being changed, their living conditions are improving, children are being educated and fed. It is an awesome sight to see.
Even though it’s hard to take all of this in, I am glad that I have been here to see what is going on in this place. It is a huge learning experience, it is very humbling.
Thanks again to everyone for all of their prayers. I have really needed them this week. It has been a very emotional time for. But I really appreciate all of the emails, and the comments and of course the prayers.
Well, I finally made it to Nairobi late last night. Sadly though, my luggage didn't have the same luck as I did. But soon we will be reunited! Traveling here was hectic and bizarre... and it's quite miraculous that I even made it! For one, my flight to Chicago was canceled because of the snow. I flew to Minneapolis, and there realized that the flight to London that I was booked on was full. But, at the last minute a seat was available and I made it. London is another long and miraculous story. With the systems being down, and me not having a plane ticket because of the canceled flight to Chicago, I almost missed my flight to Nairobi. I still have no idea how I actually made it!
But I did make it! I started working today. For the next several weeks I will be going from one program to another, just taking it all in and sort of figuring out where I might fit in. Today I did social work and went with Mary on multiple home visits. It was really good to get to know some people and to see the culture. I haven't even been here for 24 hours yet, and I already love it. I had chai tea 3 times today!! It's probably one of my most favorite things!
Anyway... I'll give more of an update later on. I just wanted to let everyone know that I did make it here. I'm alive and well :)
My snail mail address is:
Missions of Hope Zambarau Road, Pangani P.O. Box 71484-00622 Nairobi, Kenya
Just in case anybody decided to send me something :) Thank you for all of the prayers, I really appreciate it.
I switched to blogspot because it is just a lot easier to manage, and also people can leave comments on this one! I'm all about people leaving me comments (hint hint). Too bad I already sent out those prayer cards with the other website on there. But I'm sure it won't be too hard to figure out. If you're reading this... then kudos to you!
Anyway, I'm leaving for Kenya tomorrow (Jan 10). Here is my flight itinerary so everyone will know where I'll be and when (if flights are on time, of course. And there are no delays.):
I fly out of St. Louis at 2:25 pm Then I fly out of Chicago at 5:05 pm- and head to London! I'll get to London around 7:00 am- Sunday Then I fly to Nairobi at 10:05 am I should arrive in Nairobi around 9:35 pm Sunday night!
Please pray for me as I travel alone! I'm a little nervous about that, but I should be fine. I also haven't been able to sleep much lately. I'm not sure if it's just that I'm excited and nervous, or what. I can't blame it on caffeine, cause I nicked that habit in the bud! So hopefully I'll be able to get well rested for travel.
Thanks again for all of your prayers and all of your support. I raised the rest of the money just this week, today in fact! So praise the Lord!
