"Did you check in your purse?"
"Maybe they are in your locker."
"Did you use the bathroom while you were here? Maybe you dropped them in there."
"Sometimes I leave things in strange places. Did you check the fridge?"
"You probably locked them in your car. Do you have your spare keys?"
Well thank you for the words of encouragement. Strangely enough, I did check all of those places before they asked me, including the fridge. And no, I do not have my spare keys. Ironically I lost them a few nights ago and they have yet to turn up (again, I have already checked the fridge).
With no keys in sight, we closed up the store and started walked out towards the parking lot (through Macy's). They made more helpful suggestions as we walked through the mall. Perhaps I dropped them on the way in? Did I stop anywhere before going to work?
Ahh! Yes! I had gone to the bathroom in Macy's before going to work. They both thought it was odd that I would walk to the back of Macy's to use the restroom when we had one in our own store. I just shrugged. I'm having a strange day.
They decided to check the bathroom while I ran outside and checked to see if they were in the car.
Sure enough, there they were. Just sitting nicely in the driver's seat. Well, at least I had taken them out of the ignition. That's the first step, I guess.
I made sure all four doors were indeed locked before going back in. I already felt stupid for having locked them in there in the first place. I didn't need anymore ridicule.
We got a hold of mall security and he said he'd meet us out there. I wasn't certain I would get a lecture for how close I had parked. Apparently mall employees are not allowed to park anywhere near the mall. There is a blue line across the far end of the parking lot and that is where we have been sentenced to die. I mean park. I don't follow those silly rules.
Before he would attempt to unlock my car, he asked me several questions and then made me fill out a piece of paper with my vehicle information on it. I knew that this was the last time I'd be able to park this close to the mall without getting a ticket. They finally had my information.
Then he asked me what year it was. I just looked at him, wondering to myself why he was giving me a sobriety test. I clearly had just gotten off of work. I stated "2011". Him and my coworkers looked at me quizzically. I stared blankly at them. Then the security guard chuckled softly to himself and said "No, the year of the car."
I busted out in laughter, almost to the point of being unable to control myself. I shook my head to indicate I didn't know and managed to say "1993 or maybe 94, I have no idea". I'm sure that was helpful.
Through fits of laughter I said "No, I haven't been drinking officer" and slammed my hands on the hood of the car. The girls thought it was quite hilarious and we all bellowed out in more laughter. Now I was certain he was going to give me a ticket for parking so close.
But he didn't. He man-handled the car into total submission and in a few minutes my driver side door was open. I was impressed. He said that he was grateful for the laughs, that he needed something to get him through the night and he'd find amusement in my "2011" response for quite awhile.
I was slightly embarrassed, but still could hardly contain my laughter. I mumbled something about being thankful and mall cops and hopped in my car.
What a night. A night full of blonde moments!
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