A couple of weeks ago I was talking with my Grandma Gladys (a wise woman she is) and she just put a lot of things into perspective for me. She just shared her own life story and talked about her relationship with God. Her words were just what I needed at that moment and they really pierced my heart- in a good way. It just really got me thinking about what I truly want out of life.
I told her that I don't want a job. I want to work- I want to do what I went to school for and I want to do what I'm truly passionate about it. I just don't want to get any ol job.
Before I left she told me that I need to do what I love- that I need to do missions. I left feeling refreshed and optimistic. In a way, I left feeling more whole than I have felt in such a long time.
On the drive home I told my mom that Grandma told me I should go on a missions trip. She said that she knew that and that Grandma told her she could sense that I was struggling. She said that Grandma told her she could see that I was waiting for God to move first, but God was waiting for me to move first. And that God can wait a lot longer than I can. That part made me laugh a little, because I'm certain that God can out-wait me anytime. But her words cut deep. They were so true and so perfect. I guess I never really realized it myself, but that's exactly what I have been doing. I've been waiting for God to move, to do something, to show me what to do. I guess, in part, I just felt like God wasn't really concerned with me and whats been going on in my life. I sort of felt abandoned. But when I heard those words, I knew that God had not forgotten me, but had been there all along- just wanting me to keep moving instead of being so scared to even move at all.
With that said, I'm currently praying about where to go and what to do. I'm ready to move and I'm in the process of doing just that. I want to follow where God is leading me, no matter where that may be (I suppose, even if that means being in Lincoln).
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