Fumbling to communicate. Every appointment is exactly the
same. She speaks a little bit of English. I speak even less French (though I
must give myself some credit, because after 3 months of French class, I can
actually understand and communicate some). I rack my brain for comprehension.
Okay…she said that in
English, right? Shouldn’t I know what she’s talking about.
We look at each other, both with the same confused
expression. Both with a slight grin, knowing that we want to be able to
communicate so desperately. After all, this isn’t some casual conversation with
an acquaintance. Having a baby is a pretty big deal. Medical information,
knowing what to do and how to do things, getting labs and ultrasounds,
registering at the hospital…all of this is pretty important.
Focus Sarah. She’s
saying something. She asked a question. No, she is telling me what I need to
do.
I stare at her for what seems an inappropriate amount of
time to stare at someone without saying anything.
Ah yes! I understood one word and the rest just sort of came
together. She will do my group B strep test here and I will need to carry it to the
Lab myself. Oh, how fun. That doesn’t
sound awkward at all.
I’m grinning now. Inwardly I’m
applauding myself for understanding that. How did I know what she was saying? I
must be pretty smart! I must know French better than I think. I will have to
remember to tell Phil how smart I am!
I have to keep reminding myself to listen, to focus. It’s so
hard to understand what she's saying, if I don't just miss it all completely. If I don’t
automatically know what is being said I tend to just tune it out. That’s why
listening to dialogue in French class is always so difficult for me.
Will I give baby the breast?
What does that mean? She hands me a pamphlet. Oh! Breastfeeding. Will I
breastfeed my baby. Well, yeah…I had planned on it.
She just looks at me, shrugs, and continues to ask other
questions. Or gives me more information. I can’t be certain.
I’m just going to be honest, I would really prefer
completely understanding what is going on when I see the midwife or register to
have my baby at the hospital. But, it’s also not been too bad. Luckily I have
not been in a situation where the person I’m talking to doesn’t speak one word
of English and I can’t understand anything they are saying in French.
(Okay, well there was that one incident at the hospital
where the receptionist and I couldn’t communicate at all. I’m pretty sure we
had some major miscommunications about paying for my visit. I thought
she said I didn’t need to pay her. And so I didn’t. I’m still not sure….)
And so while it hasn’t been the ideal experience that I
would have liked, it’s still working out. I have a midwife that does monthly
check ups, I’ve gotten two sonograms, I’ve had my labs done, registered at the hospital,
and just overall have had an okay experience. I’m healthy and the baby is
healthy, and so the few miscommunications and embarrassing grins are just a
part of the story.
Here are some things that are different here than having a
baby back home (mind you, I haven’t actually had a baby here yet. Still 2
months away):
Modesty: I was warned about the modesty, or lack-there-of, before
coming to France. Here is a little snapshot of what it’s like when I go to see
the midwife:
I go into her office, which also
happens to be the exam room. We go over medical information, I give her my
recent lab results. She asks me to step on the scale and then tell her how much
it says (really?! You trust me to tell you exactly how much I weigh?!). Then
she motions for me to get undressed from the waist down. She doesn’t leave the
room. There’s no curtain, no gown, no white paper blanket that I lay over my
lap. There’s no pricey dinner, where we get to know each other first. Just
plain ol awkward nakedness in her office.
Medical records: In France we are in charge of our own medical
records. We are to keep a nice little folder with all of our information, and
we take it with us to whatever appointment we have. When I get a sonogram done,
I need to retain the information so that I can give it to my midwife. When I
get my labs done, I keep the results myself so that I can share them with my
midwife. All off my medical records are MY records and I am the one in charge
of them. When I eventually go to the hospital to have my baby, I will need to
bring all of my records with me. There is no sharing of records among the
medical professionals, each person is responsible for their own stuff
Nursing a baby: Ho hum. That’s how I would describe the attitude
towards breastfeeding here. Granted, I haven’t been here long. But from what I’ve
seen and what I’ve heard, it’s just not something that is highly regarded.
Great if you want to do it, but it’s not something that is really pushed for or
advocated. And breastfeeding in public…I’ve just not seen it at all. Even when
the midwife asked if I was going to give baby the breast, she didn’t seem at
all happy about it, didn’t offer up any more information than the pamphlet she
gave me.
Hospital Stay: The minimum time to stay in the hospital is 4 days.
Longer if you have a c-section or other complications. This, however, really
only applies to those that are residents here or have the SSI card here.
Foreigners that are paying out of pocket can actually opt to stay just one or
two days- though it’s crucial to let them know well in advance that you are
planning on staying a very short amount of time.
Different midwife for everything: I have a midwife that I see for
my monthly check-ups. She is the one that monitors my weight and blood
pressure, and writes me the prescriptions that I need for my lab work,
vitamins, ultrasounds, etc. She is the one that I bring all of my
lab/ultrasound results to. However, she is not the one that will deliver my
baby. I also see a midwife that only does ultrasounds. That is her specialty. I
have seen her twice now, and each time she gives me the results directly and
tells me exactly what she sees as she’s looking. This is very different in the
States, where the sonographer is not allowed to give you your results; the
doctor must do it. So that was kind of nice. And then there is a midwife at the
hospital- she is the one that will deliver my baby. Chances are, I will not
meet her before D-Day.
A different midwife for
everything.
Nothing is included: I have heard that it’s very important to bring
your own things to the hospital; sanitary pads, baby items, everything. They
don’t provide these things, or if they do they are limited (again, I haven’t
actually had a baby here yet, so this one is just hearsay).
Cost: The cost of going to the midwife, having ultrasounds and
blood work done is quite a bit cheaper here than back home. Like…Quite. A. Bit.
It is €23 for each midwife visit (which is
almost $29) and only €70 to have an ultrasound done (which is about $87). Those
are significantly cheaper than back home. Granted, I never used a midwife back
home. But I would assume it’s more expensive than $29. When I had my first ultrasound
done for this pregnancy back in Texas, it cost me a whopping $280!!
These are just a few of the things
I have noticed in my journey of preparing to have a baby in France. I’m not
saying it’s good or bad, just different. It’s not what I’m used to, but really…what
is these days?!
I am blessed to have a very
healthy pregnancy and to be able to communicate with the different medical
professionals that I have seen- even if just a little.
And ya know what, it’s super
awkward and frustrating at times- but it’s not terrible. And I’m learning how
to do things that are uncomfortable. I used to hate talking on the phone when I
lived in the States. I think…if I went back home, I wouldn’t mind making phone
calls anymore. I think I wouldn’t mind doing a lot of things now, because I’ve
proven that I can make it through some pretty uncomfortable situations!
Thanks France!
Attagirl!
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