Always a Spectacle

Leaving the house is always a big deal. Not just because there are 3 little people to wrangle into the van, a diaper bag to not only fill up but to remember, and bribery that begins the instant their butts hit the car seats (“if you don’t throw yourself onto the floor in public today, I will give you some chocolate! Mmm…you LOVE chocolate!”).

It’s a big deal because with 3 kids under 3, we are always a spectacle.

Filing out of the van is always an ordeal. When I’m by myself with the kids I open up the side door, climb into the van and unbuckle the toddlers. Then I carefully lift the baby’s car seat out and set it on the floor while I get back out of the van. I grab the car seat in one arm and help the toddlers out of the van. Then with my free hand I hold Pax’s hand and he holds Jaelyn’s hand. Spectacle.

I am blessed to have children that are pretty well behaved a lot of the time. I haven’t yet had an incident where one of the toddlers lets go of a hand. Yet.

 (Tots in the back row and the baby in the middle row)

We fill up an entire cart with little bodies. If we’re lucky we can find a cart with one of those nifty attachments; either the double seater or the tiny car in the front. The kids love the tiny car! As we walk hand in hand into the store, or as I push the loaded cart, we get looks of adoration and we get the crazy eye. You know the crazy eye. That look of utter bewilderment with a little bit of annoyance thrown in. I’m sure I’ve given that look pre-children. “Oh my gosh, are you insane? Why would you take them all out by yourself?!”

 (Basically no room to even buy anything)

We get comments. Lots of comments. OH BOY, the comments.

“Are they all yours? “

“Are they twins” (referring to the toddlers)

“You sure have your hands full.”

“You are SO busy!”

“Wow, your life must be crazy right now.”

“You know they figured out how that happens?!”

“Got your own little day care, huh?”

And my all-time favorite “Pretty soon you’ll have your own tv show! Are you trying to compete with the Duggers?” (because 3 kids equals 19).

The list goes on and on and on. If I go out with all three kids, it’s guaranteed my little entourage will draw some looks and a few comments.

We aren’t just a spectacle when we go out either. Turns out, we are quite the ordeal even at home. Right now life is a whirlwind. I’m sure many can relate. Life is just crazy and chaotic. It doesn’t always seem like it in the day to day, when we are at home and in our element and doing our normal 3 kids under 3 thing.

But when we are around other people- people with no kids or people with older children, I realize how truly hectic and crazy life is right now. When I take a moment to sit and observe my surroundings, ya know…those rare moments when I can sit and breathe for just a second, I’m amazed at how insane it all seems to be. I wonder how I am keeping my head above the water.

I look at the overflowing dishes, the piling laundry, the toys scattered throughout the house (and why, for the love, can’t they just keep their toys in the toy room?! It’s a toy room for a reason, right?!) and I feel overwhelmed by it all.

(The infamous toy room. This disaster literally takes them roughly 11 seconds to complete)

 I see these 3 little people, so dependent on me for everything, so very needy and sometimes extremely whiney and sometimes all needing me at the same time, and I feel exhausted.

And then Pax, little mama’s boy Pax, runs up and kisses me on the arm and quickly runs off again. A real kiss. A lip-puckered-with-the-actual-smacking-noise kiss. Any mom can relate to a slobbery kiss from a little boy- especially a little boy who had previously only done the open mouthed kiss. A real kiss. On my arm. From my son.

And then there it was! My heart completely melted.

 (My baby boy. Energetic, furniture climber, rowdy, cuddly, mama's boy, heart melter)

I survive this crazy spectacle of a life for those heart-melting moments. They are rare in the day to day. Let’s just be honest here. The minutes and the hours pass slowly and sometimes there really isn’t any physical reward for all the hard work. But the love that I have for these children is overflowing and never ending. And at the end of the day, when all 3 kids are fast asleep and I think over the day’s events and I wonder how we can continue doing this day after extremely long day, I look at those sleeping bodies in their 3 little cribs and I know. I just know that I can do this because I love them. I can do this because this spectacle of a life means something. I’m their mom. I’m the biggest influence in their lives right now. I get the amazing and very scary job of molding these tiny people and  helping to shape their characters and tell them about Jesus and pray pray pray that my influence is positive and Christ-like.

So yes, we are a sight to be seen. We are a spectacle. We are a little bit crazy right now. And most of the time I’m overwhelmed and a little scatter brained. But…BUT this is my life and this is an amazing life. So when I get those inevitable comments from people about how crazy it must be with these three little ones, I smile and say “Yeah, it’s crazy. But it’s fun too and I love it!” And that’s the honest truth!