What God has brought together, we shall never part...

I love my husband. Dearly. Passionately. Whole-heartedly. But I also love him poorly at times.

Marriage is hard. There is no doubt about that. Sharing life with someone is messy. We get to see the up-close parts of a person. The parts that we all try to hide around everyone else: The gross stuff like being so sick to your stomach that it’s coming out both ends, when you don’t quite make it to the bathroom and the vomit somehow ends up all over the floor, the wall and the door. The annoying things like throwing your dirty clothes on the floor instead of tossing them into the basket, or leaving a wet towel strewn on the bathroom floor, instead of hanging neatly on the hook, or waiting until the trash is overflowing before deciding to take it out. The morning breath, farts and burps, dirty hair, a face without make up and an attitude before coffee. And the sinful things that you so desperately want to hide, but cannot because you are living in the trenches with someone day in and day out.

Yes marriage is hard. And it’s hard because you cannot hide who you really are. And why would you? After all, you have vowed to share life with your spouse. And that includes the ugly and the sinful.

But the amazing thing about marriage, a marriage united under Christ, is that there is forgiveness and grace, there is a spirit of being refined and learning from one another and with one another. Being married is hard because you become aware of your immense sin. You really begin to see the ugliness in you. It can be quite startling.

One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 17:3; “The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests the heart”. God uses difficult things in our lives to refine us- to bring all of our impurities to the surface so that He can remove them. Before we go through the fire that marriage can sometimes offer, we are unaware of these impurities. How can God remove the sinful things in our lives if we don’t even know they exist?

Marriage is truly a blessing. Through it we can be drawn closer to God.

Of course, there is also the temptation to ignore all of the nastiness, to blame it on your spouse and continue doing things the same way. When something comes up that reveals your true nature, your sinful nature, there is always that desire to hide it. This is certainly true in my life. It takes humility to admit a sin in your life.

But what I have discovered time and again is that God is merciful and He is oh so gracious. And because my husband is filled with God’s love, he is also merciful and gracious to me. When we walk with God, and our marriage is centered in Him, it makes it easier to reveal your true self because you know that there will be grace. Even when your true self can be so ugly.

I thank God for my marriage, for the difficult times that bring redemption and forgiveness and grace. I’m thankful for my husband who also offers me patience and grace and forgiveness when I’m at my ugliest. Marriage can be so difficult, but it is also so much fun. To get to spend your life with someone that knows you so intricately and loves you so passionately is amazing to be sure. I have truly been blessed.

I am thankful for these past 4 years of being married to Phillip. And I am looking forward to spending a lifetime with this amazing man! What God has brought together, we shall never part!