Having had a very difficult, colicky, and poor sleeping baby our first time around, I was convinced that he was going to end up like that. Somehow. Someway.
He continued to be the calm, cool and collective little guy that he had always been, but when it came to sleep he was a little terror. He woke at least once an hour, demanding to be fed, but really only wanting to nurse as a means of getting back to sleep. I happily obliged because I was so exhausted and it only took about 2 minutes to get him back to sleep.
After a month of this though, my body started to really wear out. I was completely exhausted. I was losing my patience with my toddler and my husband, and growing increasingly frustrated with nearly everything. I was sleep deprived and the whole family was suffering.
I knew that something needed to be done, but I didn't want to be inconsistent in what I was doing. With the holidays upon us, and with us packing up and moving across the country, I determined that it just wasn't smart to start any type of "sleep training" because I couldn't be as consistent as I needed to be.
Finally! We moved and were settled into our new place. The kids each had their own room, and for the first time since the little guy was born, he would not be sleeping 2 feet from me. I thought for sure him being in his own bed and in his own room would make night time easier. Wrong! Did it get worse? It sure seemed like it.
The first week in our new place was exhausting! Little Miss Fits was up in arms about...well, everything! The first day we got here she threw a fit because she could only get her shirt halfway off. Then when anyone would try to help her get it all the way off she would throw another fit. If someone offered to help her put it back on, another round of fits! She cried at every turn, threw herself to the ground out of frustration, and walked around whining like her life depended on it. Exhausting!
Something needed to be done! And the first step was getting the little guy to sleep. I just knew that if he could sleep better, we would all be better. Or at least, I knew that I would be better. And I think that a happy and restful mama is the key to having a happy family.
My minimal cry approach:
I am not a proponent for cry it out. I have read up on all of the different methods and strategies for getting your baby to sleep better/longer, and I know what I am comfortable with. Crying it out just isn't for me. At least not in the traditional sense.
I opted for the longer and longer method, with my own twist. The twist was simply that I never let him cry longer than 4 minutes before I went in there.
I braced myself for a LONG week of crying and very little sleep. I told my husband that it would only get worse before it got better and that I would need lots of grace because of how terrible it would be!
Night 1: I did the usual bedtime routine with the little guy; bath, jammies, nursing and night night. I laid him down awake, gave him his paci and said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and walked out of the room.
When he started crying I waited two minutes, went in and gave him his paci and said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and again walked out of the room.
Then I went in after 3 minutes of crying, then 4 minutes and then 4 minutes again. By that 4th time of going in he went to sleep.
He slept for 3 hours, woke up, ate and went back to sleep. Then he woke up again around 3am, and I determined that he probably wasn't hungry because it hadn't been 3 hours and we did the whole routine again. This time it only took me going in there twice. He slept until 5:30 am, ate and went back to sleep until 630. This, my friends was a HUGE success!
Night 2: I was once again prepared for a battle. We did our nightly routine, and I laid him down awake. He cried for 2 minutes, I went in, gave him his paci and said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and left the room. He went right to sleep!
Woke up at 9:15 and went back to sleep after a total of 2 minutes.
Woke at 11 pm, ate and went back to sleep immediately.
Woke again at 1:30, I changed his diaper and gave him gas drops because he was farting like a grown man and fussing like his tummy hurt. Cried for a total of 8 minutes. Just as he was almost asleep, I fed him (my theory was that I didn't want to reward him with nursing after he had been crying. *shrugs* I'm new at this).
Up again at 5:30, ate and back to sleep until almost 8 am!
Night 3: I had read the third night is usually much easier. And so, since my first two nights were quite easy, I was certain that this night would be ridiculously hard. And to make matters even worse (I thought), the little guy had gotten sick.
Again, I did our usual bedtime routine and again laid him down while he was still awake. He cried for about 30 seconds and I decided to just quickly go in and give him his paci (why wait the full 2 minutes if that's all he needed?!). I said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and left the room. He didn't fall right to sleep, just laid there looking around (Oh...I have a video monitor, by the way. Something I would absolutely recommend to everyone!), and in a couple of minutes he drifted off to sleep.
He woke up at 1:00 a.m, we did a quick diaper change and I fed him. He fell right back to sleep. Up again at 4, nursed him and he went right back to sleep and slept until 7:10.
Night 4: Again....bedtime routine. I put him down awake and he went to sleep after a total of 6 minutes of crying (this time I just did every 2 minutes, so I went in there 3 times before he went to sleep). He woke up at 9 pm, and because he didn't nurse very well at bedtime, I went ahead and fed him then. Up again at 11 for a diaper change and then the kid slept until 5:30 a.m!! I couldn't believe it!
Naps are going much better too. I know I haven't written about nap time, but I do the same thing- put him down awake and allow him to fall asleep on his own. I have not had one problem since beginning this new way of getting him to go to sleep. Naps are easier and longer, and bedtime has become something to look forward to, not something that I dread. AND...I am a much happier wife and mom because I am getting sleep too!
So, overall I really like this method. I have never been a proponent of cry it out, but I feel like this is a happy/healthy middle ground. If you're like me, then getting to the end of your rope in lack of sleep may push you to do things you wouldn't have done otherwise. I'm glad that I tried this approach-even though I tweaked it to my own liking-because the little guy is doing so much better!
Look how happy he is!
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