When did I become a schedule person?!

Having kids changes a person. I mean really changes a person. The past year and half has brought forth a completely different me. A better me, I hope. But definitely different.

I used to be so impatient. Now I'm learning to wait and it's okay.

I used to be so selfish. Now I'm learning to share. I share my food at almost every meal, I share my hugs and my lap and most definitely my love and affection. I even share my colds, though I'm certain nobody appreciates that!

I used to lack discipline. Now I'm learning to prioritize and follow through.

I used to be very spontaneous. Now I thrive on a schedule.

This schedule thing has be befuddled. Who have I become?! I actually used to pride myself in how spontaneous and carefree I was. Let me share a few examples. I once quit my job just so that I could drive to Canada with my friend. I used to get in the car with a friend and we would flip a coin at every crossroad to determine which way we should go. Planning was not part of the fun. On a whim I've adopted multiple puppies, only later to realize that I just wasn't ready to take care of them. I've called off of work multiple times simply because my friends wanted to hang out and do something more fun (okay...that's more of the lack of discipline thing. And a terrible sense of responsibility).

Spontaneous and carefree. Could those words describe me now? I'm starting to think not. In my heart of hearts I truly want to be that person again. But I know that it's just not possible. Having two kids changes things. I thrive on a schedule. I desire it, I love it, I get excited over it. Who have I become?

But the truth is, having a schedule makes life so much easier. It didn't matter when I wasn't married and didn't have kids. I only needed to look out for numero uno. But now I have other lives that depend on me. And children thrive on routine. So I adapted. And I kind of like it.

The kiddos are on a great routine- and I can see how much better they are both doing since we've been on it. It was difficult being on a schedule before we moved to Texas because we were constantly traveling and doing presentations and meeting with people in order to raise support. We were rarely home for a week at a time. But now...now we get to settle. And the kids are really thriving!

Here is our schedule (because I'm seriously that excited about it):

Wake up between 6:30-7:30
Breakfast and play time
Nap time for Mr. Mellow from 9-10:00 am
More playing or a walk outside if it's nice
Lunch at 11:00 am
Nap for both kiddos from 12-2:00 p.m (sometimes longer if we're really lucky!)
Snack time for Miss Fits around 3:00 p.m.
More playing or we will go out somewhere (usually to the store to walk around)
Nap for Mr. Mellow from 4:30-5 p.m
Dinner at 5:30
Bath at 6:00 for Miss Fits, followed by bedtime at 6:30
Bath for Mr. Mellow at 6:30, followed by bedtime at 7:00
Quiet time!

It's consistent and it's amazing! But it's still so strange to me that I have become a schedule person!

And here are my favorite little people...I like to call them Rough and Tumble!

Crying it Out....on my terms

Once our amazing, calm, and great sleeping baby was almost 4 months old things drastically changed. He no longer slept for hours at night, and his nap time diminished greatly during the day. I was floored as to what happened to my little angel.
Having had a very difficult, colicky, and poor sleeping baby our first time around, I was convinced that he was going to end up like that. Somehow. Someway.

He continued to be the calm, cool and collective little guy that he had always been, but when it came to sleep he was a little terror. He woke at least once an hour, demanding to be fed, but really only wanting to nurse as a means of getting back to sleep. I happily obliged because I was so exhausted and it only took about 2 minutes to get him back to sleep.

After a month of this though, my body started to really wear out. I was completely exhausted. I was losing my patience with my toddler and my husband, and growing increasingly frustrated with nearly everything. I was sleep deprived and the whole family was suffering.

I knew that something needed to be done, but I didn't want to be inconsistent in what I was doing. With the holidays upon us, and with us packing up and moving across the country, I determined that it just wasn't smart to start any type of "sleep training" because I couldn't be as consistent as I needed to be.

Finally! We moved and were settled into our new place. The kids each had their own room, and for the first time since the little guy was born, he would not be sleeping 2 feet from me. I thought for sure him being in his own bed and in his own room would make night time easier. Wrong! Did it get worse? It sure seemed like it.
The first week in our new place was exhausting! Little Miss Fits was up in arms about...well, everything! The first day we got here she threw a fit because she could only get her shirt halfway off. Then when anyone would try to help her get it all the way off she would throw another fit. If someone offered to help her put it back on, another round of fits! She cried at every turn, threw herself to the ground out of frustration, and walked around whining like her life depended on it. Exhausting!

Something needed to be done! And the first step was getting the little guy to sleep. I just knew that if he could sleep better, we would all be better. Or at least, I knew that I would be better. And I think that a happy and restful mama is the key to having a happy family.

My minimal cry approach:

I am not a proponent for cry it out. I have read up on all of the different methods and strategies for getting your baby to sleep better/longer, and I know what I am comfortable with. Crying it out just isn't for me. At least not in the traditional sense.

I opted for the longer and longer method, with my own twist. The twist was simply that I never let him cry longer than 4 minutes before I went in there.

I braced myself for a LONG week of crying and very little sleep. I told my husband that it would only get worse before it got better and that I would need lots of grace because of how terrible it would be!

Night 1: I did the usual bedtime routine with the little guy; bath, jammies, nursing and night night. I laid him down awake, gave him his paci and said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and walked out of the room.
When he started crying I waited two minutes, went in and gave him his paci and said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and again walked out of the room.
Then I went in after 3 minutes of crying, then 4 minutes and then 4 minutes again. By that 4th time of going in he went to sleep.
He slept for 3 hours, woke up, ate and went back to sleep. Then he woke up again around 3am, and I determined that he probably wasn't hungry because it hadn't been 3 hours and we did the whole routine again. This time it only took me going in there twice. He slept until 5:30 am, ate and went back to sleep until 630. This, my friends was a HUGE success!

Night 2: I was once again prepared for a battle. We did our nightly routine, and I laid him down awake. He cried for 2 minutes, I went in, gave him his paci and said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and left the room. He went right to sleep!
Woke up at 9:15 and went back to sleep after a total of 2 minutes.
Woke at 11 pm, ate and went back to sleep immediately.
Woke again at 1:30, I changed his diaper and gave him gas drops because he was farting like a grown man and fussing like his tummy hurt. Cried for a total of 8 minutes. Just as he was almost asleep, I fed him (my theory was that I didn't want to reward him with nursing after he had been crying. *shrugs* I'm new at this).
Up again at 5:30, ate and back to sleep until almost 8 am!

Night 3: I had read the third night is usually much easier. And so, since my first two nights were quite easy, I was certain that this night would be ridiculously hard. And to make matters even worse (I thought), the little guy had gotten sick.
Again, I did our usual bedtime routine and again laid him down while he was still awake. He cried for about 30 seconds and I decided to just quickly go in and give him his paci (why wait the full 2 minutes if that's all he needed?!). I said "Night night little guy. Mommy loves you", and left the room. He didn't fall right to sleep, just laid there looking around (Oh...I have a video monitor, by the way. Something I would absolutely recommend to everyone!), and in a couple of minutes he drifted off to sleep.
He woke up at 1:00 a.m, we did a quick diaper change and I fed him. He fell right back to sleep. Up again at 4, nursed him and he went right back to sleep and slept until 7:10.

Night 4: Again....bedtime routine. I put him down awake and he went to sleep after a total of 6 minutes of crying (this time I just did every 2 minutes, so I went in there 3 times before he went to sleep). He woke up at 9 pm, and because he didn't nurse very well at bedtime, I went ahead and fed him then. Up again at 11 for a diaper change and then the kid slept until 5:30 a.m!! I couldn't believe it!

Naps are going much better too. I know I haven't written about nap time, but I do the same thing- put him down awake and allow him to fall asleep on his own. I have not had one problem since beginning this new way of getting him to go to sleep. Naps are easier and longer, and bedtime has become something to look forward to, not something that I dread. AND...I am a much happier wife and mom because I am getting sleep too!

So, overall I really like this method. I have never been a proponent of cry it out, but I feel like this is a happy/healthy middle ground. If you're like me, then getting to the end of your rope in lack of sleep may push you to do things you wouldn't have done otherwise. I'm glad that I tried this approach-even though I tweaked it to my own liking-because the little guy is doing so much better!

Look how happy he is!

Our Cross-country Move

Well we did it! The day finally came for us, and we moved from our snowed in apartment in Illinois to the warm and bristly Texas. I say bristly because...well, everything seems to be rough and thorny and almost dead. Phil's says it's because it's winter. I think it's just Texas. We shall see...

It was uncertain if we'd even be able to move or not. The weekend before our scheduled departure we were bombarded with a massive snow storm. The roads were literally shut down. The whole area was declared to be in a "state of emergency", and only emergency vehicles were permitted to be on the roads. Even if we tried to go out (which we...uh...did), there were massive piles of snow on the roadways and it was impossible to leave our ridiculously small town.

We were scheduled to pick up the U-haul on Sunday. Unfortunately all of our plans had to be cancelled for that day- even our plans to say goodbye to our dear friends. Monday was much of the same. Tuesday it seemed like things were clearing up a bit- we were no longer in a state of emergency and could drive on the roads. The ones that were cleared off anyway. So we made our way out into town that evening, got the U-haul trailer and loaded up the things that needed to go into storage. Phil....bless his heart, drove the 45 minutes, unloaded the trailer by himself, and got back around midnight.

We got up early the next morning and preceded to load our lives into the tiny trailer. It was a difficult task; we had zero help, had a fussy baby and a sick toddler. Not to mention the below zero temperatures and the 3 inch thick ice on our bottom 4 steps. It was miserable!

Unfortunately we were not quite finished loading the trailer and cleaning when the landlord came over to do his walk-through. But what a huge surprise! Because he came with cash in hand and gave us back our deposit anyway! He said we were by far is best tenants and he appreciated having us living in one of his apartments. Then he told us horror stories about some of the other tenants he has.

We finished cleaning and loading, and waited for my mom to come over. After all, she was helping us drive down to Texas!

By 7pm we were ready to hit the road! We drove for 3 hours and stopped to pick up my brother- who also happened to be helping us drive down (we took 2 vehicles).

All in all, the trip wasn't terrible. The kids...well they did great for having to be in the vehicle for 20 hours. We were blessed in that we had a portable dvd player to entertain Jaelyn, and even Phillip from time to time! The poor girl was sick and miserable, but she was a real trooper. The little guy wasn't too bad either, though he seriously hated being in his carseat.

Overall, I would opt to NOT drive across the country with 2 under 2 again. Someone else can drive our U-haul, but me...I'm flying!

Christmas Traditions

This Christmas year is so exciting to me. I just love that we are a family of four and that we will be starting or own Christmas traditions with our kids.

The one tradition that I am most excited about is the gifts. I have decided that we will only do 4 gifts each for Christmas; something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read.

I really want to focus on the real meaning of Christmas, and not really focus on just giving/getting many gifts. Birthdays are the time when the kids will get many gifts! I think it birthdays are awesome because you get to really focus on each individual child and just shower them with love and affection (and gifts!). But Christmas isn't really about that. It IS about love and affection, but it's not about the gifts.

As the kids get older, we will do the "Angel tree" thing, but in a different way. We will also do the four gifts for another child, and I will let the kids pick those gifts out. That way we will teach them about giving and doing for others. After all, I feel like that's more appropriate for the Christmas season.

Another tradition is Christmas jammies! Every year the family will get a pair of jammies for Christmas, and we will get to open those on Christmas Eve so we can wake up in our new jammies!

I'm just so excited to celebrate with the kids! As they get older, it will be fun to really talk about the true meaning of Christmas. Right now they are a bit young. However, we did read about baby Jesus being born, and that was also a fun new tradition to begin.

I'm looking forward to the years to come when the kids will be more involved, and we will hopefully have more kids to share the love with!

A Period of Mourning

It’s getting closer. The restlessness within tells me that change is just around the corner. The excitement that comes with something new, with an adventure, has been bubbling up within me for years now. The anticipation of what’s to come is almost too much to stand.

Our journey starts in 2 months. In 2 months we pack up all of our belongings, say goodbye to beloved family and friends, and move to Texas for the last part of our training Stateside. In 2 months we leave…

I am thrilled beyond belief. I am overjoyed about this opportunity. I am excited that what I have always dreamed, what I have always said I would do, what I know I am being called to do, is finally happening. The preparation, the schooling, the dreaming….it’s all becoming a reality- it’s all finally coming together. And I am filled with joy.

But I am also filled with sorrow.

When I think about leaving…I almost can’t stand it. The pain that billows up inside of me is overwhelming. It’s not something that I have ever experienced. It is immense heartache. It is loss. The thought of saying goodbye brings tears to my eyes. I can’t even write this without crying.

Time and again I have asked God to take this cup from me- to allow me to do missions in some other way. Is there a way that I can do this and not have to leave everyone I love?

It’s bittersweet. I am so excited to go. I have wanted to do this for years. But I’m also mourning the loss of the closeness of family and friends. I don’t want to leave everyone. But God has called us on this journey right now, and I know that He will ease the burden in some way. I will always feel the sting of leaving those I love, but I am trusting that God will somehow, someway, make it not unbearable. 

But right now, I am mourning what I will be losing.

24 Clear Signs You are a Mother

I saw this and just HAD to share it. If you are a mom, then you will totally find this true and hilarious!

We asked the moms of www.wemothers.com what it means to be a mom. Here is what they told us. You know you are a mom when:

1. Instead of running from projectile vomit, you run towards it.

2. You do more in seven minutes than most people do all day.

3. Happy hour has become the 60 minutes between your kids going to bed and you going to bed.

4. A night of drinking requires more recovery time than minor surgery.

5. A glass of wine counts as a serving of fruit.

6. You have mini-therapy sessions all day long with anyone who will listen.

7. Going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.

8. You can experience heaven and hell at the same time.

9. You think of physical pain on three levels: pain, excruciating pain and stepping on a Lego.

10. You have the ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors in the middle of the night, two bedrooms away, while your SO snores next to you.

11. You'd rather have a 103 degree fever than watch one of your kids suffer with it.

12. You'd rather go to sleep than have sex.

13. A 15-minute shower with the door locked feels like a day at the spa.

14. Peeing with an audience is part of the daily routine.

15. You use baby wipes to clean up random spills and the dash of your car.

16. You lock yourself in the bathroom and pretend to have diarrhea just to get a break.

17. You love Moms' Night Out and Date Night with the Hubs.

18. You have a secret chocolate stash because frankly, you're sick of sharing.

19. You've been washing the same load of laundry for three days because you forgot to dry it.

20. You realize you've been watching Nick Jr. alone, even though your kids have been in bed for over 30 minutes.

21. You can cook dinner, breastfeed, talk on the phone and yell at the kids, all without breaking stride or missing any of the TV show you are watching.

22. You get more excited about the Mini Boden Catalogue than J Crew's.

23. You decide to stick with your car for the next decade because a) you can't afford to switch and b) you haven't found a car wash that knows how to get all the milk stains and glitter removed.

24. By the end of the day, brushing your teeth feels like a huge accomplishment.

Shared from wemothers.com

Breathe...just breathe

It has been a whirlwind around here the last 2 1/2 months. I cannot believe my little boy is almost 3 months old already. Really, honestly, where has the time gone?

Last week I took a breathe. Finally. I sat down and realized that these months have flown by so fast as we have rushed around preparing to move, planning for the future, going to and from doctor appointments, grocery shopping, meeting with people, etc. It has been a blur of constant go go go! Don't get me wrong, we are home a lot. There are days when we don't even leave the house. And there are times when it is quiet and it is calm. But it seems like even in those moments, those rare moments, my mind is racing with a million things to do. My lists stretch from one room to the next. My brain is constantly buzzing with the next project, the next email, the next phone call, the next feeding, diaper change, meal... the list...is...infinite.

But last week I took a breathe. I really did just sit. I really did just look around without my brain about to explode from overload. I really did just let the dishes and laundry go. I turned off the laptop, put away my to-do lists and just sat. And took a breathe. And it was so refreshing.

These days are going too fast. The time is flying and my babies are getting bigger. Yes, there are countless things to do. The house needs to be cleaned. That's for sure. We cannot live in a pigsty. Letters need to be written, phone calls need to be made, appointments need to be set up. That is certainly needed. We have to have support in order to move out of the country. All of this is needed, all of this is necessary. But it's also necessary to just breathe. To take a few moments, a few hours even to watch your baby sleep or your toddler attempting to put her shirt on like they are pants. Because there will come a time when your baby doesn't just sleep anywhere and your toddler can dress herself. These moments will end, but the to-do lists will always be there.

So just breathe. Take a moment and just breathe

Baby has Landed

Well he made it! Little Phillip made his debut right between his two due dates. He was born on August 15^th, and he is absolutely perfect.

Once again, the doctors were wrong in estimating his size. He was a whopping 7.4 lbs; Just a tad smaller than his sister was. But he was quite a long baby, measuring 22 inches.

Labor and delivery. Ah, what a story. Allow me to share my experience. I chose to be induced upon the doctor’s request. There is always a slight fear of induction, because I never want it to be the case where I don’t progress and end up needing a c-section. But thankfully that has not happened!

This time with the induction I held off getting an epidural until I just couldn’t stand it any longer. The contractions were strong, long and very painful. But they were endurable. However, 8 hours into labor I opted for the epidural. And let me tell you…that experience was worse than the contractions! Looking back now, I probably could have held off on that because it was less than an hour later that I delivered my son. Hindsight, ya know.

Anyway…the lady administering the giant needle to my spine had to have been in her 90’s. My initial thought: who let’s an elderly lady near a needle?! Yes, it was a disaster. She didn’t get it at first. And then she made it out like it was my fault. Apparently I wasn’t leaning over properly. Well thanks for giving me those instructions BEFORE you attempted to stick a needle in my spine! And it’s not like the contractions decided to stop while this was taking place. Misery. Complete misery.

After that ordeal and the dreadfully old and mean epidural lady and all the nurses left, Phil finally came back in the room and suggested that I try to get some sleep. I thought that was a fabulous idea! He turned out the lights and left me to get some rest. Well that lasted all of 20 minutes.

Suddenly I started to feel some immense pressure- like perhaps I needed to go to the bathroom. And I panicked a little because I remembered from last time that if you feel that kind of pressure, it’s time to push. I reached for the call light. No call light. Where was that call light?! The old lady must have moved it and forgot to put it back. I was reaching all over the place trying to get that call light. In my effort to find it, I managed to knock my cell phone onto the floor. Now I was really panicking! It’s not like I can just get out of bed and get it. My legs don’t work!!

Then I remembered that hospital beds have call light buttons on them. So I frantically push it. Nothing! It’s not working at all. I was trying to figure out how I was going to deliver my baby in the dark hospital room all by myself, when suddenly the nurse walks in an nonchalantly says “Well it’s the end of my shift. So and so is here and she will be your nurse for the rest of the night” (she probably said the girls name, and not actually so and so). Before she could finish her whole sentence I said “Something’s happening! I think I have to poop”. Now, I’m really not sure why I said that last part. I knew that I didn’t really have to poop. And that’s such an awkward thing to say!

She calmly said “Well we will have the other nurse check you”, at which time the other nurse walks in, checks to see how dilated I am and announces “There’s a head!”. Immediately the lights come on, the nurses get busy preparing the room, someone is scrambling to call the doctor, and I’m trying really hard not to push or cry.

I asked one of the nurses if I could have my cell phone to call my husband. I thought for sure I would be delivering the baby without Phil there. Luckily though, Phil, my mom and the doctor all came in just in time. 3 or 4 pushes later, little Phillip was born!

Aside from the painful epidural and the fear of thinking I’d deliver by myself, the whole thing was a piece of cake. I pushed for about 10 minutes. That was even easier than with Jaelyn, where I pushed for about 30 minutes.

And that, my friends, is my birth story.

The end.

Well, not the end. Here are some pictures of my gorgeous baby boy, and then it’s the end:

Due Date...

Well it's happened again. My due date has come and gone. I thought for sure that this pregnancy would result in an early delivery. No such luck.

I suppose though, that I do have another week. After all, the doctor decided to change my due date not that long ago. How unfair to go the majority of your pregnancy believing your due date was on August 12, only to be told that no, your due date is now August 19th. Who wants to wait an extra week?!

Yes yes, I'm close. I get that. It’s just one more week. Well try telling that to a woman who had been anticipating the arrival of this precious little baby for over 9 months already. A week is a big deal! Not to mention…I feel like I’ve been pregnant for 2 years! We found out we were pregnant when Jaelyn was 5 months old. Only five months of not being pregnant from August 2011 to August 2013. So yeah, a week is a big deal, thank you very much.

My doctor wants to induce on Thursday if he hasn’t made his debut by then. She thinks that he is already a big boy and doesn’t want me to wait too much longer for fear of him getting even bigger. Well thank you doctor, for your educated guess. I am all for evicting this baby out of me, but I can’t take seriously your guess at how big he really is. After all, my previous doctor with Jaelyn was convinced that she was going to be quite large and scheduled me for an induction. She wasn’t even 8 pounds! Thankfully everything went very well and there were no complications with the induction, but I really don’t want to be induced again.

I want to go into labor naturally. But I also don’t want to wait another 2 weeks. Once again, I’ve tried all of the natural home induction methods to no avail. Obviously they are just a myth. Obviously. But I at least like to believe that it is doing something- even if that something is simply me doing anything to pass the time. Even if it’s not doing one darn thing, it sure is fun to try.

There have been a couple of times that we were sure it was “go time”. Contractions getting quite painful and 5-7 minutes apart. Eventually though, just before we decide to actually go to the hospital, they end up subsiding. So FRUSTRATING! But it’s also quite promising. I know that my body is preparing itself for labor. Unlike last time when I really didn’t experience any contractions prior to being induced, I am having contractions daily. I’m convinced it will happen eventually. As they say…the baby will come when the baby is ready (Gosh I really hate that saying).

And so we wait…

A Tribute to Moms

I have been reading Tender Mercies for a Mother's Soul. It's an amazing book- encouraging, inspiring, uplifting, and very practical. I love it! Every time I pick it up I just get refreshed and renewed.

In this last chapter that I read, there was a blurb from "A Tribute to Mothers". It was so good. I actually teared up several times. Maybe it was just from the pregnancy hormones. I don't know. It doesn't matter. This tribute just got me thinking about children, my children, and what I would do for them. I know Jaelyn is only one and baby boy Kemp isn't even here yet. But that doesn't matter. I would do anything for my kiddos. A mother's love is so unique. I wish I could explain it. But if you're a mom, you know exactly what I mean. And if you're a mom, then this tribute is for you!!

A Tribute To Mothers

Author Unknown

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms..., wiping up puke laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here".

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football, hockey, baseball or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.

For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids t o school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...And mature mothers learn to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without

The Second Time Around

Let's just be honest here. The second pregnancy is not as glamorous as the first. Not only do other people pay less attention to you and your expanding belly, but YOU even pay less attention to yourself.

Here are the differences I have noticed the second time around:

1. How many weeks am I?!: Well that's a good question! My first pregnancy I knew exactly how far along I was, what size fruit the baby measured up to, how many days until my due date, and every tiny little detail for that specific week. This time...I'm lucky to know what month I'm in!

2. Exercise: What's that?! When I was pregnant with Jaelyn I walked constantly. Everyday. For miles. I coax whoever I could to taking long walks with me. Sometimes just around the park, sometimes all the way to the store to get some donuts (Hey, I was pregnant, don't judge!). This time...taking a five minute stroll sends my uterus into overdrive! Nevermind going to the grocery store!

3. Cravings: My first pregnancy I craved junk food- donuts, chocolate milk, anything sweet! I also really wanted pickles with caesar dressing. This time...I want cottage cheese (which I HATE, by the way) and I have been craving water like non other. Water? Really?

4. Pain/sickness: With Jaelyn, being pregnant was so easy. It was seriously a breeze. I was rarely sick, I hardly had any kind of pain, and I don't even remember getting Braxton Hicks. I was walking miles with that child when I was past my due date! This time around... I have been sick almost constantly. Bronchitis has been my nemesis! I'm in terrible pain- pain that I don't even remember having when I was in Labor with Jaelyn!

5. Weight: Yes, that's right, I'm going to mention weight on here. When I was pregnant with Jaelyn I gained close to 50 lbs. Yikes! Right? Yes, I know. I was hideous. This time...It's taken me nearly 9 months just to hit the 15 lb mark. Perhaps taking care of an overactive toddler (and all the water I'm craving!) has a little something to do with that. And hey...who's complaining?! Certainly not me.

6. Naps: What's that? When I was pregnant with Jaelyn I was napping ALL the time. I was also completely lazy and put myself on bed rest almost every day. I watched television shows with a friend and ate junk food and drank blue slushies...almost every day. This time...I don't have that luxury. It's hard to find moments of rest and relaxation with a very active toddler in the house!

7. Patience: Okay...let's just be honest here Sarah. At first, I told myself that I would be super patient with this second baby- knowing that, in the end, there would be an infant. A cute, but very needy and sleep depriving infant. And so, for the majority of this pregnancy, I have been extremely patient. Probably mostly because I don't have the time of day to dwell on this pregnancy or think about what it will be like to hold this cute little bundle of love. But these past few weeks...Oh my goodness! I've become SUPER impatient. I feel like I've been pregnant for Years! I am so ready to not be pregnant. I am so ready to have this baby already! And so, this time around is just the same as with Jaelyn. Although, I think I held off a bit longer this time!

One already?!

Wow. I cannot believe it has already been one year since I brought that precious bundle home from the hospital (the precious bundle that turned out to be colicky and oh so difficult to handle at times!).

My how much changes in just a short little year. I used to think that a year was SO LONG. But now, looking back, it went quite fast. So much happened and changed in that short little year. Jaelyn went from being a helpless little babe that cried almost constantly, to a relatively independent toddler that feeds herself, practically runs now and gets into everything!

Sometimes I still can't believe that she is walking. It's just a marvel that her tiny little legs hold her up and move her about. Of course, she's still a bit clumsy and awkward on those little legs. But to think that just a few short months ago she couldn't even crawl. And now, instead of being a four-legged creature, she has joined the ranks of two-legged humanity! What a feat!

In this year so much has changed- not just with Jaelyn, but in mine and Phil's life as well.

- We had a giant fundraiser and sold a large portion of our stuff in order to raise money for training purposes.
- We packed up (what little we had left) and moved to a different state, to live with family.
- Our plans quickly changed once we were surprised with a pregnancy!
- We were completely devastated and heartbroken when we lost that baby at just 2 months pregnant.
- We were beyond blessed and overjoyed to discover that, just a few short weeks later, we were once again pregnant. And we are happy to announce that this little baby boy is doing so well! We are excited to meet him in August!
- We decided to go to West Africa, in hopes of doing some Community Development work with the nationals there
- We moved to our own apartment (since we are a growing family and will be in the area for a bit longer)
- We celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary!!
- And we watched our precious baby girl become a One year old!

Wow. What a year!

And here are some great pictures of Jaelyn!

 Newborn!

 One Month

 2 Months

 3 Months

 4 Months

 5 Months

 6 Months

 7 Months

 8 Months

 9 Months

10 Months

 11 Months

12 Months

Celebrating 3 years

Today my adoring husband and I are celebrating our 3 year anniversary. I cannot believe it's been three years already. Well, okay, maybe I can because some days it feels like 20 years!

When we first got married I would have never imagined that in three short years we would be the proud parents of an almost one year old daughter, having a son on the way, and preparing to move to a different country! What a dream! What a blessing!

The past three years have been amazing. Don't get me wrong, there have definitely been those bitter moments where it seemed like we were floundering under deep water, vaguely aware that this whole marriage thing was maybe more than we had bargained for. And there have been quite a few of those moments- or more accurately those days and weeks and months.

But there is something that we have discovered. And that is Grace. God's grace. When I think about the grace that God has granted me time and time again, how can I not bestow that kind of grace on my husband? Phil can't read my mind; he doesn't know my thoughts, and he certainly doesn't know the unspoken expectations I have placed on him. And so in those moments I need to show him grace. He isn't always aware that he has hurt my feelings, said something that angered me, did something to offend me. And rather than holding it against him (which I often do), I need to show the man grace.
And the same goes for me. He needs to show me grace when I inadvertently disrespect him, am unloving to him, hurt his feelings, etc. Because the truth is that I often don't know I have done it.

Grace. It's the key to marriage. It's the key to any relationship. God has given us his amazing grace- and we certainly don't deserve. Through the tough times, and even the mediocre times, Phil and I have learned that extending grace to one another is one of the ways in which we can have a healthy marriage.

It's also important to have an amazing husband like I have :-) Hey, it's my anniversary, I get bragging rights.
Phil is so loving and kind and sweet. He really is my rock, my provider, my love. And one of the truly amazing things about Phil- he admits when he is wrong. I can learn a lot from my adoring husband!

I am looking forward to the next 3 years, and the next, and the next. I'm looking forward to the joys, the blessing, the expectant arrivals, the laughter, the tears, the fights and the make-ups, the stress, the annoyances, and all the in-between. I'm looking forward to life- just life with this man. My friend. My love.

Happy 3 year anniversary!

A Surprise Baby Shower

Morning Grace. Ah, how I love the women I have met in Morning Grace.

I may have mentioned it before, but Morning Grace happens every Wednesday at my church. It's a time for women to come together and fellowship. We have yummy breakfast together, a time of worship, and then we split up into smaller groups to study scripture or a book.

The lovely women that I was blessed to be a part of have truly impacted my life.

I went to Morning Grace in hopes of making a friend or two. I was feeling lonely and didn't really know anyone. My main goal was simply to meet one or two people that I could get together with occasionally. God certainly had other plans in mind! Instead of simply making one or two friends, I have found a whole group of women to share life with! All of the women in my group have touched my heart! I have never felt so connected to so many different women before.

On the last day of Morning Grace, I was completely surprised and humbled when the ladies ushered in gobs of baby stuff! For me! I couldn't believe. I felt tears well up in my eyes at their love and generosity. We had only spent a few short weeks together- only one day a week and only for 2 hours. And here these ladies were generously pouring their love out on me and my baby. Thinking about still brings tears to my eyes (hormones, perhaps?!). I have never experienced such genuine love and kindness.

I love those ladies. I cherish them. And I am so blessed to get to call them friends.

Seeing Blue

During an unexpected trip to the ER today (where we found out I have bronchitis and the stomach flu), we were surprised by some exciting news!

It was our intention to not find out the sex of this baby until delivery. But today the ultrasound tech had other plans. Unintentionally, of course. She accidentally left the screen up with a picture of the baby. And just so happened to glance at it, and was surprised to see the picture below! Surprised and so very excited!

She then printed off a picture for me to take home.

We're having a boy!!

Our Body of Christ

Since moving to this new area, Phil and I have found an amazing Body of Christ. I have been awed by the genuineness and love that the people we have met at Suncrest Christian Church have poured out on us. People we don't even know have been so kind, and caring and encouraging. This is a group of people that takes seriously Christ's call to love all people. I have been humbled again and again by the people I meet and their willingness to love on people they hardly know.

Recently I started going to this women's group on Wednesday mornings called Morning Grace. It is a time of food, fellowship, worship and study. I wanted to go to meet other women. Since I'm new to the area, I thought it would be a great opportunity to make a friend or two. The Lord had other plans. How narrow my vision!

Through Morning Grace, I have met many women who have shown me such kindness and grace and poured out their generosity on me. Already I have had two women offer to host fundraisers for Phil and I in order to raise support for missions. One of this is actually taking place at the end of this month!
I have had women praying for our family as we have struggled to get medical coverage, and one lady even offered to pay for any medical expenses we might have before getting coverage. These ladies have prayed with me, encouraged me, supported me and just shown me the love of Christ. It has been so humbling! I don't even know these ladies! But the Lord has used these ladies to touch my life in such meaningful ways.

Phil and I were struggling with our move. At first it just seemed to be more of a challenge than anything else. After finding out we were pregnant again, and deciding that we needed to get our own place after selling most of our possession, we wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. We questioned whether we had done the right thing. Was it God we were following? Were we foolish to sell all of our stuff and move 3 hours away?
We searched for a church family for several months, but just couldn't seem to find a place where we fit in. We even contemplated moving back "home".

One of Phil's friends suggested we try out Suncrest Christian Church. And within weeks we just knew that this was going to be our new family. From the very first time we went to Suncrest, we have met countless people that are just so full of love and generosity.
We met a lady the first day, who offered to show us the nursery. Two weeks later we ran into her in the parking lot. She called us by name and said that she had been praying for us! We joined a small group shortly after, and were welcomed with such hospitality and generosity.

The Lord has truly blessed us with an amazing Church family. We are so excited to get to share our lives with these new friends.

Reclaiming my blog!

Wow, it's been a while since my last post (not counting the newsletter). I guess that's what happens when you are chasing after a very active baby all day every day! How do other moms manage their time so well?! I get to stay at home with Jaelyn, and somehow I still can't manage to get all the clothes and dishes washed, all the toys picked up, and dinner on the table (well...we actually don't have a table) every single night.

I'm dumbfounded by the supermoms out there.

What in the world am I going to do when there are two?!

I guess we shall find out in less than 4 months.

And now for the true topic of this post: Reclaiming my blog! As Phil and I have progressed a little bit further into our endeavors we have decided to get our own website. This will allow all of our friends, family and supporters to be updated and included in our goings on on a regular basis. Therefore, I will get to have my blog back to be used as....well, my blog!
The website will include a link to this blog, but my blog will no longer be used for the sole purpose of our work in West Africa.
More than likely, I will be writing about being a mom of two kids under two, and our transition into life as full time expats living in West Africa. I'm still trying to come up with a name, as Journey with the Kemps is our ministry website name (journeywiththekemps.com). But, perhaps don't go check it out just yet. It's not really up and running. I'm still trying to figure it all out.

So....be looking for changes coming to this blog very soon! And if you happen to have a suggestion for a name for my blog, do share!

In Recent News...

We have found a Church!

We have tried out a few churches in the area, and we finally found a great church for our family! (I know it's a great church when I feel comfortable putting Jaelyn in the nursery!)

There are actually people we know from College that go to this church. It always makes it so much more comfortable to see a few familiar places. We are in the process of really getting involved here, and we are so thankful to finally have a church to call home.

Jaelyn's going to be a Big Sister!

If you read our newsletter, you already know that we were surprised and excited to discover we were pregnant. Baby #2 is due in August. We have also decided to be surprised by the sex of this baby!

We are prayerfully considering a location!

We have talked to several people about possible locations, and we are currently just praying about where God is leading us. We know that we may have to push back our plans just a little bit, considering we will be bringing another life into the world in August. Our goal of leaving in 2014 is still the plan, but perhaps we might go later in the year. Obviously it is all part of God's plan, but we are going to continue moving forward with all of this.

Jaelyn is our very energetic and ambitious baby!

For being only 7 months, this active little girl is certainly impressing her parents with all of the new things she is accomplishing these days. Her name means ambitious, and she is certainly living up to that. She started crawling at 6 months, pulling herself up just before 7 months, and is now walking along furniture and walking with her baby push toys. This spunky kid manages to get into EVERYTHING! Baby proofing seems impossible as this kid can find things that we didn't even know we had!

She may be a handful, but she's certainly fun!

Fundraiser

Last weekend we had a fundraiser to raise money for our classes/training needed before we move overseas. We had a garage sale at our home church, where we sold the majority of the items we owned. Many people were also gracious enough to donate their items to us.

The garage sale was "Donation Only"- people just gave what they wanted for the items they were taking.

It was a very humbling experience. I didn't expect it to be so hard for me, but it may have been one of the more difficult things I've done. Many people coming in took advantage of just giving what they saw fit. And it was very difficult for me to see some of my most precious items being taken for little to nothing. It's like they didn't understand why we were selling all of our stuff, and just thought they were walking away with a steal (which they were!).
But, on the flip side of that, there were several people who came in and gave us an over abundance for a single item, or would simply donate and not take anything.
It was a lesson in humility for sure. The Lord taught me that it's not about "stuff". My earthly possessions are not what is important. We can always get more things. Being obedient to God is what is important. Serving others is what is important. There are so many other things that are more important than earthly possessions.

And while it still hurt to watch some of my most precious items being taken away by strangers, I was humbled by the generosity of a few people who gave from their hearts and showed us such kindness.

Our Very First Newsletter

Click here to view our very first newsletter!

The above link will take you to our newsletter. It is so exciting to finally be at the stage in our preparation for the mission field where we get to send out monthly updates!

If you are not yet receiving our newsletter and would like to, please just let me know and I will add you to our mailing list. You can just comment on this blog post, or you can email me at sarahk1021@yahoo.com

We are just so excited to get to share with everyone how God is leading us on this journey. It is our joy and pleasure to connect with everyone we love and care so deeply about. The Lord has really blessed us with a great support system, and we are so grateful for everyone that is uplifting us in prayer and providing encouragement and support.

Thank you for all that you have done, and continue to do!