One already?!

Wow. I cannot believe it has already been one year since I brought that precious bundle home from the hospital (the precious bundle that turned out to be colicky and oh so difficult to handle at times!).

My how much changes in just a short little year. I used to think that a year was SO LONG. But now, looking back, it went quite fast. So much happened and changed in that short little year. Jaelyn went from being a helpless little babe that cried almost constantly, to a relatively independent toddler that feeds herself, practically runs now and gets into everything!

Sometimes I still can't believe that she is walking. It's just a marvel that her tiny little legs hold her up and move her about. Of course, she's still a bit clumsy and awkward on those little legs. But to think that just a few short months ago she couldn't even crawl. And now, instead of being a four-legged creature, she has joined the ranks of two-legged humanity! What a feat!

In this year so much has changed- not just with Jaelyn, but in mine and Phil's life as well.

- We had a giant fundraiser and sold a large portion of our stuff in order to raise money for training purposes.
- We packed up (what little we had left) and moved to a different state, to live with family.
- Our plans quickly changed once we were surprised with a pregnancy!
- We were completely devastated and heartbroken when we lost that baby at just 2 months pregnant.
- We were beyond blessed and overjoyed to discover that, just a few short weeks later, we were once again pregnant. And we are happy to announce that this little baby boy is doing so well! We are excited to meet him in August!
- We decided to go to West Africa, in hopes of doing some Community Development work with the nationals there
- We moved to our own apartment (since we are a growing family and will be in the area for a bit longer)
- We celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary!!
- And we watched our precious baby girl become a One year old!

Wow. What a year!

And here are some great pictures of Jaelyn!

 Newborn!

 One Month

 2 Months

 3 Months

 4 Months

 5 Months

 6 Months

 7 Months

 8 Months

 9 Months

10 Months

 11 Months

12 Months

Celebrating 3 years

Today my adoring husband and I are celebrating our 3 year anniversary. I cannot believe it's been three years already. Well, okay, maybe I can because some days it feels like 20 years!

When we first got married I would have never imagined that in three short years we would be the proud parents of an almost one year old daughter, having a son on the way, and preparing to move to a different country! What a dream! What a blessing!

The past three years have been amazing. Don't get me wrong, there have definitely been those bitter moments where it seemed like we were floundering under deep water, vaguely aware that this whole marriage thing was maybe more than we had bargained for. And there have been quite a few of those moments- or more accurately those days and weeks and months.

But there is something that we have discovered. And that is Grace. God's grace. When I think about the grace that God has granted me time and time again, how can I not bestow that kind of grace on my husband? Phil can't read my mind; he doesn't know my thoughts, and he certainly doesn't know the unspoken expectations I have placed on him. And so in those moments I need to show him grace. He isn't always aware that he has hurt my feelings, said something that angered me, did something to offend me. And rather than holding it against him (which I often do), I need to show the man grace.
And the same goes for me. He needs to show me grace when I inadvertently disrespect him, am unloving to him, hurt his feelings, etc. Because the truth is that I often don't know I have done it.

Grace. It's the key to marriage. It's the key to any relationship. God has given us his amazing grace- and we certainly don't deserve. Through the tough times, and even the mediocre times, Phil and I have learned that extending grace to one another is one of the ways in which we can have a healthy marriage.

It's also important to have an amazing husband like I have :-) Hey, it's my anniversary, I get bragging rights.
Phil is so loving and kind and sweet. He really is my rock, my provider, my love. And one of the truly amazing things about Phil- he admits when he is wrong. I can learn a lot from my adoring husband!

I am looking forward to the next 3 years, and the next, and the next. I'm looking forward to the joys, the blessing, the expectant arrivals, the laughter, the tears, the fights and the make-ups, the stress, the annoyances, and all the in-between. I'm looking forward to life- just life with this man. My friend. My love.

Happy 3 year anniversary!

A Surprise Baby Shower

Morning Grace. Ah, how I love the women I have met in Morning Grace.

I may have mentioned it before, but Morning Grace happens every Wednesday at my church. It's a time for women to come together and fellowship. We have yummy breakfast together, a time of worship, and then we split up into smaller groups to study scripture or a book.

The lovely women that I was blessed to be a part of have truly impacted my life.

I went to Morning Grace in hopes of making a friend or two. I was feeling lonely and didn't really know anyone. My main goal was simply to meet one or two people that I could get together with occasionally. God certainly had other plans in mind! Instead of simply making one or two friends, I have found a whole group of women to share life with! All of the women in my group have touched my heart! I have never felt so connected to so many different women before.

On the last day of Morning Grace, I was completely surprised and humbled when the ladies ushered in gobs of baby stuff! For me! I couldn't believe. I felt tears well up in my eyes at their love and generosity. We had only spent a few short weeks together- only one day a week and only for 2 hours. And here these ladies were generously pouring their love out on me and my baby. Thinking about still brings tears to my eyes (hormones, perhaps?!). I have never experienced such genuine love and kindness.

I love those ladies. I cherish them. And I am so blessed to get to call them friends.

Seeing Blue

During an unexpected trip to the ER today (where we found out I have bronchitis and the stomach flu), we were surprised by some exciting news!

It was our intention to not find out the sex of this baby until delivery. But today the ultrasound tech had other plans. Unintentionally, of course. She accidentally left the screen up with a picture of the baby. And just so happened to glance at it, and was surprised to see the picture below! Surprised and so very excited!

She then printed off a picture for me to take home.

We're having a boy!!

Our Body of Christ

Since moving to this new area, Phil and I have found an amazing Body of Christ. I have been awed by the genuineness and love that the people we have met at Suncrest Christian Church have poured out on us. People we don't even know have been so kind, and caring and encouraging. This is a group of people that takes seriously Christ's call to love all people. I have been humbled again and again by the people I meet and their willingness to love on people they hardly know.

Recently I started going to this women's group on Wednesday mornings called Morning Grace. It is a time of food, fellowship, worship and study. I wanted to go to meet other women. Since I'm new to the area, I thought it would be a great opportunity to make a friend or two. The Lord had other plans. How narrow my vision!

Through Morning Grace, I have met many women who have shown me such kindness and grace and poured out their generosity on me. Already I have had two women offer to host fundraisers for Phil and I in order to raise support for missions. One of this is actually taking place at the end of this month!
I have had women praying for our family as we have struggled to get medical coverage, and one lady even offered to pay for any medical expenses we might have before getting coverage. These ladies have prayed with me, encouraged me, supported me and just shown me the love of Christ. It has been so humbling! I don't even know these ladies! But the Lord has used these ladies to touch my life in such meaningful ways.

Phil and I were struggling with our move. At first it just seemed to be more of a challenge than anything else. After finding out we were pregnant again, and deciding that we needed to get our own place after selling most of our possession, we wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. We questioned whether we had done the right thing. Was it God we were following? Were we foolish to sell all of our stuff and move 3 hours away?
We searched for a church family for several months, but just couldn't seem to find a place where we fit in. We even contemplated moving back "home".

One of Phil's friends suggested we try out Suncrest Christian Church. And within weeks we just knew that this was going to be our new family. From the very first time we went to Suncrest, we have met countless people that are just so full of love and generosity.
We met a lady the first day, who offered to show us the nursery. Two weeks later we ran into her in the parking lot. She called us by name and said that she had been praying for us! We joined a small group shortly after, and were welcomed with such hospitality and generosity.

The Lord has truly blessed us with an amazing Church family. We are so excited to get to share our lives with these new friends.

Reclaiming my blog!

Wow, it's been a while since my last post (not counting the newsletter). I guess that's what happens when you are chasing after a very active baby all day every day! How do other moms manage their time so well?! I get to stay at home with Jaelyn, and somehow I still can't manage to get all the clothes and dishes washed, all the toys picked up, and dinner on the table (well...we actually don't have a table) every single night.

I'm dumbfounded by the supermoms out there.

What in the world am I going to do when there are two?!

I guess we shall find out in less than 4 months.

And now for the true topic of this post: Reclaiming my blog! As Phil and I have progressed a little bit further into our endeavors we have decided to get our own website. This will allow all of our friends, family and supporters to be updated and included in our goings on on a regular basis. Therefore, I will get to have my blog back to be used as....well, my blog!
The website will include a link to this blog, but my blog will no longer be used for the sole purpose of our work in West Africa.
More than likely, I will be writing about being a mom of two kids under two, and our transition into life as full time expats living in West Africa. I'm still trying to come up with a name, as Journey with the Kemps is our ministry website name (journeywiththekemps.com). But, perhaps don't go check it out just yet. It's not really up and running. I'm still trying to figure it all out.

So....be looking for changes coming to this blog very soon! And if you happen to have a suggestion for a name for my blog, do share!

In Recent News...

We have found a Church!

We have tried out a few churches in the area, and we finally found a great church for our family! (I know it's a great church when I feel comfortable putting Jaelyn in the nursery!)

There are actually people we know from College that go to this church. It always makes it so much more comfortable to see a few familiar places. We are in the process of really getting involved here, and we are so thankful to finally have a church to call home.

Jaelyn's going to be a Big Sister!

If you read our newsletter, you already know that we were surprised and excited to discover we were pregnant. Baby #2 is due in August. We have also decided to be surprised by the sex of this baby!

We are prayerfully considering a location!

We have talked to several people about possible locations, and we are currently just praying about where God is leading us. We know that we may have to push back our plans just a little bit, considering we will be bringing another life into the world in August. Our goal of leaving in 2014 is still the plan, but perhaps we might go later in the year. Obviously it is all part of God's plan, but we are going to continue moving forward with all of this.

Jaelyn is our very energetic and ambitious baby!

For being only 7 months, this active little girl is certainly impressing her parents with all of the new things she is accomplishing these days. Her name means ambitious, and she is certainly living up to that. She started crawling at 6 months, pulling herself up just before 7 months, and is now walking along furniture and walking with her baby push toys. This spunky kid manages to get into EVERYTHING! Baby proofing seems impossible as this kid can find things that we didn't even know we had!

She may be a handful, but she's certainly fun!

Fundraiser

Last weekend we had a fundraiser to raise money for our classes/training needed before we move overseas. We had a garage sale at our home church, where we sold the majority of the items we owned. Many people were also gracious enough to donate their items to us.

The garage sale was "Donation Only"- people just gave what they wanted for the items they were taking.

It was a very humbling experience. I didn't expect it to be so hard for me, but it may have been one of the more difficult things I've done. Many people coming in took advantage of just giving what they saw fit. And it was very difficult for me to see some of my most precious items being taken for little to nothing. It's like they didn't understand why we were selling all of our stuff, and just thought they were walking away with a steal (which they were!).
But, on the flip side of that, there were several people who came in and gave us an over abundance for a single item, or would simply donate and not take anything.
It was a lesson in humility for sure. The Lord taught me that it's not about "stuff". My earthly possessions are not what is important. We can always get more things. Being obedient to God is what is important. Serving others is what is important. There are so many other things that are more important than earthly possessions.

And while it still hurt to watch some of my most precious items being taken away by strangers, I was humbled by the generosity of a few people who gave from their hearts and showed us such kindness.

Our Very First Newsletter

Click here to view our very first newsletter!

The above link will take you to our newsletter. It is so exciting to finally be at the stage in our preparation for the mission field where we get to send out monthly updates!

If you are not yet receiving our newsletter and would like to, please just let me know and I will add you to our mailing list. You can just comment on this blog post, or you can email me at sarahk1021@yahoo.com

We are just so excited to get to share with everyone how God is leading us on this journey. It is our joy and pleasure to connect with everyone we love and care so deeply about. The Lord has really blessed us with a great support system, and we are so grateful for everyone that is uplifting us in prayer and providing encouragement and support.

Thank you for all that you have done, and continue to do!

Missing Home

I need to be honest. This new life of ours is much harder for me to adjust to than I thought it would be.

I thought that getting rid of our stuff and moving out of our own place would be an adventure. I imagined it like any mission trip I have been on- exciting, fun, adventurous. But, unlike all of the mission trips I have been on, there was an end in sight. It was easy to go and do difficult things because I always knew that I would get to come back home. I would get to settle back into my routine, be comfortable in my surroundings, and feel safe in my own environment.

And all of a sudden, I realized that there is no end in sight. There is no assurance that I will get to come back "home" and feel safe and secure and comfortable. We are beginning this new life, and it scares me to the core. I think, if I weren't so confident that the Lord was leading us in this direction, I would just abandon the whole thing. I would throw my arms up and say "Forget it! Forget all of it!". I'm comfortable where I am at. I love having my own home, and I enjoy the privacy of living with just my husband and daughter.

Deep inside I feel a mixture of emotions. I feel sad, like I am mourning a loss. And I also feel hopeful. Hopeful of what's to come and the change that is happening. I feel constricted. There's always an etiquette you must stick to when you are a guest in someone's home. It's different at your own house. You can behave how you want, dress how you want, and live according to the rules you set for your home. When you are a guest you don't get that privilege. It's strange being a permanent guest. It's a little constricting.
I also feel free. In a different sense. We have less responsibility. Less "stuff". Less things to get distracted by. We are focused. On point with what really needs to get done. It's so freeing to live like this.

This is an adjustment. And it's going to take lots of time to figure it out. I'm not just going to be okay with all of this overnight. But the Lord is so good to us. And He isn't going to abandon us after we have taken this giant leap of faith. He is always faithful! It brings to mind the lyrics of that song "Day after Day":

Day after day our God is reigning

He's never shaken, my hope is in the Lord

Time after time our God is faithful

Trustworthy Savior, my hope is in the Lord

While I may struggle with not having a permanent home, I can rest in knowing that a structure does not determine 'home' for me. Home for me is where my family is. Home for me is the comfort I get from knowing that God is continuously providing. Home for me is the love that comes from my husband, and the cuddles I get from my baby. I may miss my structural home, but I've got everything I need right here with me.

On a side note: Go ahead and pray that you won't get too comfortable where you are, and see where God leads you!

Changing it up

I've been writing a lot about...well, being a new mom. Obviously. That's currently the title of my blog. But there's more to my life than simply being a new mom (not that being a mom is simple. It certainly isn't.).

Not only are we adjusting to life as parents, Phil and I are also adjusting to life as Missionary Recruits. I'm sure that I have posted before about joining Pioneer Bible Translators. Well, everything really seems to be falling into place these last few weeks.

Here is a brief update on what's been happening (and continues to happen):

We recently started our online classes. These are classes that we need to take for PBT. Luckily we have both had most of the classes required, so we only need to take a handful. This week we started Intro to Linguistics. And let me tell you...it's no walk in the park. At least not for me. I know that the information will be useful and valuable when I'm trying to learn a new language, but honestly, it's just not fun!
We are hoping to be finished with all of our classes by next Fall.

We are missionary partners with our home church, Rochester Christian. It has been such a joy to talk with individual's at our home church about our passions, goals, and future plans. They have all been so supportive. Our church was eager to partner with us, and take on a supporting role and we transition into this new phase of life. We are excited about what the future holds for both of us as we move forward in this.

We are selling our possessions and giving to the poor! Okay, so it's not really like that. Actually, it may be like that. We are selling the majority of our 'things', and we are moving in with my mom. This dramatic leap of faith came after many weeks of praying and seeking God's direction. We knew that we couldn't keep living like this. We were barely making ends meet- struggling to balance working, school, bills, and the baby, all while trying to focus on getting to the mission field.
After much prayer and seeking wise counsel, we decided that Phil would quit his job and start working with his dad's ministry, and we would move to Indiana and live with my mom. With this drastic change, we will be able to focus on what is really important- getting to the mission field. We will have more time to focus on getting our classes done, meeting with individuals and churches about partnering with us, and figuring out where it is we might be going.

We are still praying about where we will Go. We have two options in front of us at this time, but we are currently unsure of which one the Lord is leading us to. But with everything falling into place so quickly, I am certain that we will know before long. God is so good, and He continues to lead us and open the doors for us.

More on Breastfeeding

I never thought I would have this much trouble. I heard about moms that had problems with breastfeeding and eventually just switched to formula. In my judgmental little mind, I thought that was the easy way out. Why give up? Keep at it and it'll work out. After all, breast is best!

But honestly, there's more to it than that. Let me share my breastfeeding woes, and why I will finally exclusively formula feed my baby.

At first, I thought it was my milk. Jaelyn was always super fussy. She cried a lot. I switched from milk to soy. Nothing changed. I finally cut out all dairy. Still no change. I thought that maybe she just wasn't a happy baby. Maybe I was blessed with the temperamental child.

A couple of weeks ago I hit my breaking point. Jaelyn was a screaming maniac. I didn't know what was wrong. I was beside myself. We were both crying and miserable. Phil promptly sent me and the baby to my  moms (you're NEVER too old to need your mom). In his words "I'm not trying to get rid of you. I just know that you need more help. You need your mom". Spot on, Kemp.

I went to my moms, and she also deduced that she sounded like she was crying out in pain. At my wits end, I finally agreed to try formula. Maybe it was my milk after all. I got the Sobee Soy for Sensitive Tummies, and she guzzled down 4 oz. 4 ounces!! I realized then that she wasn't getting enough breast milk. I only produce about 2 ounces every 3 hours. And come to think of it, at her last doctor's appointment, her percentile for weight had dropped. *light bulb*

After a few days of formula, I tried breast milk for a day. 4 ounce bottles this time. She did great. She's a whole new baby!

So, it was and wasn't my milk. She wasn't allergic to anything I was eating, she just wasn't getting enough of it. Low milk supply.

So why did I decide to switch to formula then?

Here is what I tried:
-Pumping ever 2-3 hours
-Drinking plenty of fluids
-Drinking a cup of Mother's Milk tea 4-6 times a day
-Taking fenugreek
-Taking marshmallow root

None of it worked to increase my supply. And honestly...it got to be too much. I became like a crazy person trying to increase my milk supply. Perhaps it was the stress of the whole situation that cause it to not increase? I don't know.

I have just been miserable with the whole thing. And that's not okay. I don't want my frustrations with breastfeeding to come across as frustrations with the baby or with Phil. Which it has.

So, I'm slowly weening myself. I still pump every once in awhile, and Jaelyn does still get some expressed breast milk. But soon...we will be on formula only.

It's a slow process for me to come to terms with this. But...I am coming to terms with this.

Stinkin Timeline

Today I got on facebook only to discover that I now have Timeline. It's annoying to me because I have worked so hard NOT to get it. I even avoided signing up to get Pinterest because I knew that it caused facebook to turn to Timeline. And then, Pinterest allowed membership with your email, and I was happy with myself for waiting it out. But now... stinkin timeline found me!

On the bright side though, I found this old "note" I had written back in 2008, and it totally cracked me up. Who knew I was so weird?!

What I did today:

I started my morning off right: I got myself a fresh cup of coffee and some cookie crisp cereal and I chatted with my dad. We contemplated skipping out on what we needed to do for the day (school for me and work for my dad), but reluctantly we decided to wait for a different day. I got ready for school by doing my usual routine: sang to the radio, had a conversation with the people on the radio (even though they never respond back to me), gulped down more coffee and just basically meandered through the house, thinking of different excuses for skipping class.
Then I drove to school, had even more coffee (I brought my little travel mug) and promptly waltzed into class five minutes late (it’s okay… we all do it, even the professor). Then I doodled on my pages, sent several picture texts to different people expressing my boredom and exasperation for being there, made up some answers for my lab report and headed home (I actually think that I left class early today… on accident of course. We might not have been all the way done; it might have just been a short break…). 
Then I came home and got on the computer. I figured that somebody must have sent me an email or something while I was gone for that short period of time. Checking my mail is always the highlight of my day. Unless, of course, it’s just stupid spam that somehow sneaks into my inbox instead of going straight to the spam box. I hate when that happens. When I was done checking my mail and facebook (of course facebook), I used the awesome “stumble upon” button and browsed various websites. Then I just googled some random things like “cheeseburger kitten” and “becoming a vegetarian”. I got on the postsecret website, but was bummed cause I’d already read those ones and decided to play a rousing game of Spider Solitaire. I love that game! But all that got boring really fast. So, I spun around in my computer chair until I nearly fell over and cracked my head on the desk. Lying on the bed seemed like the most logical thing to do next, especially since my head was spinning and I felt like I was going to throw up.
And that… yes, that is what I spend my days doing. Sometimes in different orders though, and sometimes I do a little homework in between (and I don't normally take the chair for a spin, that was totally spontaneous!). But that’s basically it.

I need to get out more…

And this picture justs cracks me up...

Date Night and a Poop Story

After nearly 3 months, Phil and I finally had a date night. It's my fault it's been so long. I just can't imagine leaving my little baby. Also, she's very temperamental at times, and I get nervous for other people to watch her. For their own sake, not necessarily hers.

Okay, truthfully...I'm a new mom. And I don't trust other people to take care of her as well as I do. There, I said it.

But then I got this great idea! Jaelyn goes to bed at 7, and almost always sleeps until at least 11 before she wakes up to eat. So, I decided that the best plan would be for someone to come over when she goes to bed.
I coaxed my little brother (the 19 year old, not the 2 year old...) to do it, and he agreed as long as she stayed asleep. Uhhh, okay.
I definitely sounded like a new mom as I rattled off detailed plans of action should ANY possible situation occur.
As Phil was pulling me out the door, I yelled one last "Call if anything happens. Or if anything doesn't happen!". And we were off to the place where they grow the olives.

We decided we wouldn't talk about the baby, that we would focus on ourselves. 5 minutes into our date we were discussing Jaelyn's poop habits. Only parents, right?

The date was fun. It was nice to get away with just Phil and not have to worry about a fussy baby or anything like that. But after dinner we decided to head home. Turns out, we are old parents now. We get tired around 8pm and we take joy in our sleep. After all, as the old (and very annoying) saying goes we must "Sleep when the baby sleeps".

That was date night. Not the poop story. Here is the poop story:

J hadn't pooped in 10 days. I finally called the doctor and she suggested coming in for a check up. After examining her the doctor determined that she is still very healthy, but for whatever reason she is holding in her poop. Huh? Can babies even do that? Apparently this one can. Like I said...she's advanced!
We took her home and gave her a baby suppository. No fun. But she took it like a trooper!

The Dr said that she should poop within 1-2 hours, and to call after 2 hours to update her. Well, 2 hours came and went and still no sign of poops. I called and talked to the nurse. She said to call back tomorrow and give an update and we would take it from there.
As soon as I got off the phone I went to change Jaelyn's diaper because it was wet. AS SOON AS I took off her diaper she had a massive poop explosion! MASSIVE!
I think she did it on purpose. She waited until her prime opportunity and then just let it all out. Master plan? I think so. It was her plan for the last ten days.

I've got a tricky one on my hands!

Teething?

Today I noticed that Jaelyn seems to be chewing on things a lot more. When I give her a bottle, she is really more interested in chewing on the nipple than drinking the milk.
Then something clicked in my sleep deprived brain: teething!

I looked up the signs for teething and found several articles. First, there was an article stating that infants don't actually show symptoms of teething. That when babies start teething their immune system is down and that's when they start showing "symptoms". Uhhh...same thing.
Another article said that babies don't start teething until they are older. Older than 2 1/2 months.

Well, after reading the signs/symptoms of teething...I'm almost certain that's what's going on.


What To Expect- 5 Signs of Teething:


1. Drooling. You might find that your baby's shirts are suddenly soggy. Fasten on a bib to keep her more comfortable (and cleaner), and gently wipe her chin throughout the day to stave off chapping (if that doesn't work, ask your doctor about a mild moisturizer such as Aquaphor or even Lansinoh nipple cream). Pooling saliva may also cause a slight cough or even trigger the gag reflex. If she's otherwise healthy, you can safely ignore both.

2. Gnawing. She's not trying to be naughty. Little nips at your fingers, breast (ouch!), or her spoon help relieve the pressure she feels from under her gums.

3. Crying. Some babies breeze through teething with nary a whimper, while others suffer from a good deal of pain — which they feel compelled to share with you in the form of whining or crying. Talk to your doctor about when to administer pain relievers such as infant acetaminophen or ibuprofen.

4. Fasting. Since sucking movements can worsen teething pressure or pain, your baby may refuse to nurse or eat, or may nurse briefly and then turn away. Keep at it, and call your pediatrician if the strike lasts more than a few days.

5. Waking. Especially when she's working on cutting that very first tooth, your baby may fuss during the night as well as during the day, so be prepared for a little extra crib-side duty for a while.


Those symptoms describe my baby exactly! So regardless of what the other articles say, I'm convinced that my 11 week old baby is teething.

With that said, here is a picture of this sweet girl:

Breastfeeding difficulties

The past few days have been a little difficult and frustrating. For whatever reason, Jaelyn has decided that there are times when she isn't interested in breastfeeding. I've tried researching stuff online, but have really come up with nothing.
Finally I talked to a lactation consultant. She thought that maybe my milk supply was low, or that I have a slow letdown and Jaelyn is just getting frustrated when she nurses because she isn't getting it as fast as she would like.
This is what she does now: She will latch on and nurse for a few minutes. 5 at the most. Then she will turn her head and pull away, latch back on for one to two seconds, pull off and turn away. She continues to do this until she is just so frustrated she starts to cry.Then I get frustrated and start to cry.
Just kidding. But there are times that I feel like it.

So the lactation consultant suggested I pump every 3 hours for the next week to see if I can get my milk supply back up. Easier said than done!

The last few nights Jaelyn has not been sleeping so great. Last night she decided to get up ever 2 hours. So with pumping every 3 hours and Jaelyn waking every 2 hours...I haven't gotten much sleep.

I've seriously been contemplating switching to formula. I really don't want to. Let's just be honest, it's so  much more convenient to just breastfeed your infant then it is to mix formula and heat up a bottle. I'm also super selfish and like the idea of losing weight because of breastfeeding.
And of course, I know that it is just healthier and better all around to continue breastfeeding. Breast is Best, afterall!
But if she's not eating well, and something is wrong, then I don't want to continue doing it.

I will continue to pump for a few more days and see if things get better. If not, it's time to reevaluate things.

Mom Jeans...

I totally get mom jeans now.

Yesterday I was looking at myself in the mirror and I thought "I sure wish I could cover up this belly fat", as I tugged my jeans up higher and higher. And then it dawned on me...mom jeans!

It all makes so much sense now! Even though I have lost all of my baby weight (took 2 months!), my stomach looks...well, different. Muffin top explains it quite well. I can fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, but I don't like the way I look in them.

I will never wear mom jeans, but after becoming a mom myself, I can say that it's definitely tempting.

All about Jaelyn

From day one Jaelyn has let her personality shine. She arrived on the scene with an attitude as big as her 7lb 9.5oz body, and it's only grown along with her. It has definitely been interesting learning the ins and outs of a brand new person.

I have a dramatic and a very particular baby. She wants what she wants when she wants it, and if she is in a mood, she will let everyone know. When she is happy, her face lights up and her grin is as big as her head (and we all know how big an infants head is!). She squeals with delight and her limbs shake excitedly.
When she is angry her whole body tightens up, her face turns bright red and she lets out an ear-piercing scream. It's lovely.

Jaelyn is a crier. Sometimes I think that she enjoys crying. I've gotten quite accustomed to it now, but at first it was very stressful. I wanted to fix her. I wanted her to stop crying. But now...that's just who she is. She doesn't cry as much as she did when she first arrived on the scene, but she still has her moments. And I'm okay with that.

I love her personality! Here are some things I have learned about my baby:

*She fights her sleep:
     I don't know what it is, but this child fights her sleep like no other. When she's falling asleep and doesn't want to, she will shake her head violently from side to side, and flail her tiny arms. If she is soothing herself with a pacifier, she will spit it out.
Luckily I have learned her little tricks. When she starts shaking her head and swinging her arms, I simply hold her still. And when she's trying to spit out her paci, I will just hold it in her mouth. She just can't win. She gives in every time and eventually falls asleep.

*She loves to be held:
     This baby LOVES to be held. If she could have it her way all the time, she would never be put down. And of course I don't mind holding her, but sometimes I just can't get thing done that way. So I will either put her in the moby wrap, or I will set her in her swing. She's learning to be okay with sitting by herself, and even goes through longer periods of contentment by herself.

*She is a night owl:
     Jaelyn LOVES to be up late. I have been trying and trying to get this kid to go to bed early, but she always wakes up after 15-20 minutes. She is typically out for the night between 11-12. The upside of that is that she will often sleep in. So at least we have that going for us. But if we have to be somewhere in the morning...not so great!

*She actually watches t.v.:
     I had no idea that a 2 month old would actually watch the television. I know it's because there are so many different colors and pictures and movements happening. Not to mention the sound. But it's still quite amazing to me. And I know that I said I would never sit my kid in front of the t.v., but I will just be honest here and say that there have been times that I have done that. I sit her in her swing or her bumbo, turn on Sesame Street or Rugrats, and then I am able to fold  load of laundry or wash some dishes before she is ready to do something else.

*She coughs for attention:
     Okay, I don't know that she is actually coughing because she wants attention, but it sure does seem like it. When I'm not paying attention to her, she will cough three times. Obviously it always gets my attention. My baby is coughing. Something must be wrong. Oh no. She coughs and then just looks at me. I swear she is doing it on purpose!

*She is advanced:
     Phil and I like to joke that our baby is so advanced. Anytime she does anything...and I mean ANYTHING, we will say "She is SO advanced!". She can drool or spit up: So advanced. She can hiccup: So advanced. Even her farts are SO advanced (seriously though, her poor little baby farts smell like a grown mans. Disgusting!) Sometimes I forget that other people aren't in on the joke, and I will tell complete strangers how advanced my baby is.
Wouldn't it be funny if we did this her whole life? When she is 19 we will be telling people how advanced our kid is!

I just love this girl! And I can't wait to learn more and more about her! Every day I find out something new. And every day it seems she is learning something new as well. Just today she "rolled over". More like she fell over. But still....she did it! She is so advanced!

Here's the video to prove it:

Things I Said I'd Never, Ever Do

We all have things we said we would never ever do once we have children. I would see parents doing this or that, and I would be quick to judge telling myself that I would NEVER do that once I popped out a little one. How naive. Pre baby Sarah had no idea what she was thinking. Pre baby Sarah didn't realize what being a parent was actually about.

Let's take a look at the things I said I would never do, but alas, find myself doing:

*Dressing up my baby girl
     Now this one I mentioned in a previous post. I told myself that my baby girl wasn't not going to be a girly girl. I was not going to put her in dresses and I certainly wasn't going to put those ridiculous headbands with the giant flowers on her tiny baby head.
But...it's just so irresistible! Baby girls clothes are just SO cute. And I have to put her in the outfits we got at the baby showers, right?! And some of them are dresses. And she did get some of those headbands too. I can't just waste them, now can I?

*Have baby stuff everywhere!
     Pre baby Sarah made a point to tell Phil that we were not going to be those parents that allows their children's things to overtake the whole house. In fact, pre baby Sarah said that our bedroom is the "baby free zone". No baby stuff allowed in there. We need a place to go to get away from everything baby and to relax.
Post baby Sarah is laughing out loud. Literally.
Our apartment is tiny. Baby items are many. How does such a tiny person accumulate so many things?
Well, we need a swing and a bouncy seat to satisfy her. We need a baby changing station downstairs so that we don't have to travel up and down those stairs every time she wets herself or spits up.
And our own sanctuary room? Yeah, right. Baby stuff there too.
Sigh...

*Posting pics to facebook
     I was always one of those people that got annoyed looking at facebook because people continuously posted the dumb pictures they took of their children. Yes we get it, you're a new parent and you love your child. But those pictures of your child sleeping are getting rather redundant. Babies sleep.
Oh, you changed your kids outfit and decided to snap a picture of it? Fabulous. I just changed my outfit too. Care to see?
How quickly I was to judge. I can't tell you how many pictures I have taken of Jaelyn sleeping. And ya know what...I couldn't resist posting them to facebook! I realize that nobody else really cares as much as I do. But it's fun to show of your baby. And so...I suppose I will continue to do that too.

*Let my kids watch t.v. at a young age
     Now before you are quick to judge, I do not just sit my infant in front of a television. But I will tell you that Jaelyn loves the t.v. Probably because it's colorful and it moves and there is noise.
And so, if I would like a few minutes (or maybe a half hour) of peace, Jaelyn and I will watch t.v. And ya know what's absolutely wonderful? She doesn't even care what we are watching! She let's me pick every time. What a great daughter!

*Allow my baby to sleep in bed with me
     When I was pregnant people were constantly making comments about the baby sleeping in my bed. Some would say how it was a terrible thing and to never do it. Some would say it's great for you and the baby. Some would comment on how I'd never have my room back again.
I'd always smile and nod, but inside I'd roll my eyes. I already knew what I was going to do. The baby was not going to be sleeping in my bed. She was only going to stay in my room for the first week or two, and then it was off to her own room and crib.
And I'm happy to say that that is mostly true still. Jaelyn did stay in our room the first several weeks. A bit more than 2 weeks though. But she was always in the pack n play.
When she was a month old she began sleeping in her own room.
And as far as her sleeping with me...well, in the mornings after Phil goes to work and Jaelyn wakes up to eat, I will put her in bed with me and we will sleep an extra hour or two all snuggled together. I love it!

I'm sure there are going to be a lot more things that I said I wouldn't do and then end up doing them. Or things that I said I would do, but now choose not to.

Being a parent is funny business!

Newborn to Infant

My new favorite thing is comparing pictures of when Jaelyn was first born with how she looks now. It's crazy how much a baby can change in such a short period of time.
It's fun, but it is also a little bit sad. I recently realized that she no longer has a newborn face. She looks like an infant. Her face has filled out, she's got some chubs on her and she is just overall more solid. My little baby is growing up so fast.

Here are the lasted comparison pictures:

Okay, so this might be a silly comparison. But I thought it was pretty funny!