Hurry up...and wait

When I was in college and getting my degree that I believed would eventually get me to the mission field, I was in such a hurry. I hated going to class and learning….oh learning, how dreadful it was! I just wanted to GO! Why did I have to sit through lecture after lecture when I could just hop on a plane and be there?! I seriously contemplated ditching the books and just boarding a plane.

I was in such a hurry to get to where I knew God was calling me.

What I didn’t know at the time was that God had called me to other things as well. Things that would need to take place BEFORE my dramatic move overseas. I gained knowledge and insight about how to actually do ministry in a cross-cultural setting (thanks to my degree!), met my amazing husband, got married, had our first baby and learned a LOT about myself.

Together Phillip and I felt God calling us to be missionaries overseas. We didn’t know where, but we knew we would go. So after the birth of our daughter we hurried to sell or donate all of our things and moved in with family so we could begin support raising.

We were in a hurry to get to where we knew God was calling us.

What we didn’t know was that God once again had called us to something different first. A month after we moved in with my mom we found out we were expecting baby #2. If you’ve ever tried to plan for things and suddenly found yourself pregnant, you can attest to the fact that baby’s bring change. And so God was calling us to wait.

And it was through that period of waiting that we made some amazing friendships at our new church in Indiana. I cannot tell you how blessed I am that we had to wait. God always knows what’s best for us, even when we think that WE do.

After the little guy was born in August we again made haste and raised 60% of our support in the first month! It was amazing and we just KNEW that God was calling us to go now. In January we packed our bags and made a long cross country move to Texas. We continued to busy ourselves with the work we needed to accomplish so we could leave the country in August.

By May, when we still only had 75% of our budget, I was getting discouraged and doubtful. I thought God had wanted us to go now? I thought this was HIS plan? I prayed “God if you want us to go, you have to make a way!”.

I am in a hurry to finally get to where I know God is calling us.

I was growing tired of all of the hurry up and waiting scenarios. When would God finally allow us to go?! And then a very dear friend gave me a book by Oswald Chambers. Growing Deeper with God is the book and the first pages I read really opened my eyes to some new truths about God.

God is not in a hurry.

Chambers wrote about how Moses had a calling, a desperate desire to free his people from slavery. This was a God-given desire. God also wanted the Israelites to be free from the Egyptians. And I know the story of Moses and the Israelites, but the reality of what happened next has never hit me like it did when I read this book.

After Moses killed the Egyptian and fled, he was terribly discouraged. Chambers writes “God allowed Moses, the only man who could deliver his own people, to be driven into the desert to feed sheep—forty years of blank discouragement” (p. 16).

Wow! God had a plan for His people. He knew exactly what He wanted to do and who He was going to use to accomplish it. And He waited 40 years! God is certainly not in a hurry.

When I think about that story, it helps to put my own life into perspective. I honestly don’t know what the future looks like. I have a dream, I have desires, and I have wants. But right now, in this moment, I am trying my best to wait on God’s timing. If we go in August, fabulous! I’m all in. I’m so excited and I’m ready. If it’s later on down the road…even if its years down the road, fabulous! I know it’s because God has called us to something different first. And it will be an amazing journey!