A Period of Mourning

It’s getting closer. The restlessness within tells me that change is just around the corner. The excitement that comes with something new, with an adventure, has been bubbling up within me for years now. The anticipation of what’s to come is almost too much to stand.

Our journey starts in 2 months. In 2 months we pack up all of our belongings, say goodbye to beloved family and friends, and move to Texas for the last part of our training Stateside. In 2 months we leave…

I am thrilled beyond belief. I am overjoyed about this opportunity. I am excited that what I have always dreamed, what I have always said I would do, what I know I am being called to do, is finally happening. The preparation, the schooling, the dreaming….it’s all becoming a reality- it’s all finally coming together. And I am filled with joy.

But I am also filled with sorrow.

When I think about leaving…I almost can’t stand it. The pain that billows up inside of me is overwhelming. It’s not something that I have ever experienced. It is immense heartache. It is loss. The thought of saying goodbye brings tears to my eyes. I can’t even write this without crying.

Time and again I have asked God to take this cup from me- to allow me to do missions in some other way. Is there a way that I can do this and not have to leave everyone I love?

It’s bittersweet. I am so excited to go. I have wanted to do this for years. But I’m also mourning the loss of the closeness of family and friends. I don’t want to leave everyone. But God has called us on this journey right now, and I know that He will ease the burden in some way. I will always feel the sting of leaving those I love, but I am trusting that God will somehow, someway, make it not unbearable. 

But right now, I am mourning what I will be losing.

24 Clear Signs You are a Mother

I saw this and just HAD to share it. If you are a mom, then you will totally find this true and hilarious!

We asked the moms of www.wemothers.com what it means to be a mom. Here is what they told us. You know you are a mom when:

1. Instead of running from projectile vomit, you run towards it.

2. You do more in seven minutes than most people do all day.

3. Happy hour has become the 60 minutes between your kids going to bed and you going to bed.

4. A night of drinking requires more recovery time than minor surgery.

5. A glass of wine counts as a serving of fruit.

6. You have mini-therapy sessions all day long with anyone who will listen.

7. Going to the grocery store by yourself is a vacation.

8. You can experience heaven and hell at the same time.

9. You think of physical pain on three levels: pain, excruciating pain and stepping on a Lego.

10. You have the ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors in the middle of the night, two bedrooms away, while your SO snores next to you.

11. You'd rather have a 103 degree fever than watch one of your kids suffer with it.

12. You'd rather go to sleep than have sex.

13. A 15-minute shower with the door locked feels like a day at the spa.

14. Peeing with an audience is part of the daily routine.

15. You use baby wipes to clean up random spills and the dash of your car.

16. You lock yourself in the bathroom and pretend to have diarrhea just to get a break.

17. You love Moms' Night Out and Date Night with the Hubs.

18. You have a secret chocolate stash because frankly, you're sick of sharing.

19. You've been washing the same load of laundry for three days because you forgot to dry it.

20. You realize you've been watching Nick Jr. alone, even though your kids have been in bed for over 30 minutes.

21. You can cook dinner, breastfeed, talk on the phone and yell at the kids, all without breaking stride or missing any of the TV show you are watching.

22. You get more excited about the Mini Boden Catalogue than J Crew's.

23. You decide to stick with your car for the next decade because a) you can't afford to switch and b) you haven't found a car wash that knows how to get all the milk stains and glitter removed.

24. By the end of the day, brushing your teeth feels like a huge accomplishment.

Shared from wemothers.com

Breathe...just breathe

It has been a whirlwind around here the last 2 1/2 months. I cannot believe my little boy is almost 3 months old already. Really, honestly, where has the time gone?

Last week I took a breathe. Finally. I sat down and realized that these months have flown by so fast as we have rushed around preparing to move, planning for the future, going to and from doctor appointments, grocery shopping, meeting with people, etc. It has been a blur of constant go go go! Don't get me wrong, we are home a lot. There are days when we don't even leave the house. And there are times when it is quiet and it is calm. But it seems like even in those moments, those rare moments, my mind is racing with a million things to do. My lists stretch from one room to the next. My brain is constantly buzzing with the next project, the next email, the next phone call, the next feeding, diaper change, meal... the list...is...infinite.

But last week I took a breathe. I really did just sit. I really did just look around without my brain about to explode from overload. I really did just let the dishes and laundry go. I turned off the laptop, put away my to-do lists and just sat. And took a breathe. And it was so refreshing.

These days are going too fast. The time is flying and my babies are getting bigger. Yes, there are countless things to do. The house needs to be cleaned. That's for sure. We cannot live in a pigsty. Letters need to be written, phone calls need to be made, appointments need to be set up. That is certainly needed. We have to have support in order to move out of the country. All of this is needed, all of this is necessary. But it's also necessary to just breathe. To take a few moments, a few hours even to watch your baby sleep or your toddler attempting to put her shirt on like they are pants. Because there will come a time when your baby doesn't just sleep anywhere and your toddler can dress herself. These moments will end, but the to-do lists will always be there.

So just breathe. Take a moment and just breathe